The Dead Live (Book 3)

Chapter 19: Where to next? (Shannons PoV)

I looked at it, a fair distance away from us, as I thought back on all of the times, and the memories that I had, whilst I had lived there. It all seemed to be small little shutters in my brain, as it all seemed to flicker through me oh so fast.
I shivered, as I almost wanted to cry at the same time too. I had so many good memories, not just with my mom, who now ceased to exist on this earth, but also some good memories with my dad there too. Good memories with my father were few and far between.
He was always busy, usually with work or something else, and I rarely got to see him, or spend any sort of time with him. Sure, I knew why that was so... My mother had told me time and time again, that he was always busy, and he had an important job.
That was never good enough of an excuse for me though... It was a lot of the reason why I was so close to my mother though, and the opposite of that with him. Now, I suppose I did not have much of a choice though, as my mother was gone now, and it certainly felt like there was no getting her back.
Unless you wanted to count in the fact that there might be a place called heaven, which I still would never believe in, a lot of that being put in to my brain by my parents. I now believed in it even less than before hand, as why in the world would a so called God, let something as cruel as that, happen, right in front of my very own eyes none the less.
Maybe it was what we deserved though, for all of the years that we had joked and made fun of people that believed in the, God. I hated to think on all of that at the current moment, as I closed my eyes, doing my best to try to drown out all of those thoughts from my head.
I tried my best, to try not to weeb or sob in front of the random lady that was with me in the car at the moment. I had always been told to look my best, and to look strong to any person that I met, or even a person that I knew quite well.
It seemed to be doing a good deed, as I managed to relax myself, and clear out a lot of those dark thoughts from my head at the moment. I could think about that another time I suppose, but right now, this was important, and I had to get my own self to safety.
It is what my mother would have wanted for me, and I knew it. My mom did not like to see me in pain, and she was always worried for me as well. She would not want me to end up, such as the way that she had. I thought back on how it had all ended for her once again, as just as soon as I had cleared my mind of all of those thoughts, I just as soon put myself back in to them.
It just did not make much sense to me, if there was a God, than why would he be as cruel as that? Could he clearly not see that my mother was worried of another person, that seemed to be in a lot of trouble none the less? Did he only care for the fact on whether or not a person believed in him?
A lot of that sounded like the catholic church as well, as I had been told by my father too. He had said that, "they think that just because they believe in God, it means that they can do whatever they want, and still go to heaven." He had said to me.
Maybe they were right though, it did not make much sense to me, but maybe my brain was just not to the same level as Gods brain was. I sat there for a bit more time, as I continued to let all of those thoughts cloud my brain, until I then heard a loud cough come from Lilly.
I lifted my head up, nearly smashing it in the the dash board that was in front of me at the same time as well. I blinked a couple of times, a bit confused on all that was going on at the current moment, and where it was that I had even been at in the first place.
It hit me as to what was going on, as I saw the apartment complex way ahead of me, in the distance. I stared at it for just a few seconds, as I then realized the reason that I had opened my eyes in the first place. It was a good thing that I had done so as well, as I had been so trapped in a bunch of dark thoughts.
I saw that Lilly was staring at me, like she had done a lot of, ever since I had first met her, and I saw that she had her eyes squinted at me as well, as if I had been doing something highly suspicious to her. I turned my head over to her, to let her know that I finally had my attention on her.
She sat there, in her uncomfortable car seat, and she just continued to stare at me for a bit longer. It was beginning to make me feel a bit nervous, but I managed to hold my ground with her, and I stared right back at her. After I had done so as well, she then for some reason, rolled her eyes at me, and then she began to speak to me.
"So... We have been sitting here for some odd minutes now..." She began to say to me. I looked at her, as she kept on staring at me. I blinked a few times, as I then realized that she was making sure that she had my attention. I then nodded to her, as she nodded back to me as well, and then she began to continue to keep speaking to me. "There are 3 apartment complexes... Even if I chose the right one, I have no clue on which one is yours..."
I stared at her for a bit more of some time, with a bit of a blank look on my face as well, as if I had not heard a word of what it was that she had just said to me. I could tell that she was getting a bit tired of it as well, as she let out a bit of a loud, and quite annoyed sigh.
It then hit me, as to what it was that she had just now said to me as well. I felt a bit bad for it too, as I remembered that her friend, or whatever it was that he might have been to her, had lost his own life to save mine, and I sure as hell was not seeming to make my life any sort of good use.
Could you really blame me for it though? Could you say that you would not do the same as I was, if you were in my shoes? All in all, I felt like I was handling it a lot better than most people would, besides the fact that I was so lost in my head right now.
At least I was not in tears right now, as I knew that it would not help either of us at the current moment. I blinked a few times, as I realized that once again, I was letting my thoughts take control of me. I shook my head, as I then looked back up at Lilly, and nodded to her.
Lilly, to my surprise, and very much unlike she had been earlier, seemed to be paying me no attention at all at the current moment. I was not sure what to do, to try to get her attention, as I just continued to just stare at her, for a short period of some time.
Suddenly, Lilly let out a bit of an annoyed groan, as I realized that she had to realized, that I was now paying attention to her. I looked at her, with a bit of a confused look on the face of mine, as I wondered what might be going on, in her very own head.
I stood there for a few more seconds, as I did not say a word. Suddenly I then saw that she put her right hand on the shift, as I saw her then put it on reserve as well. I blinked a few times, a bit confused as to what was going on with her at the exact moment.
That is when she began to suddenly turn to car around, as I came to that realization fairly quickly. I blinked a few times, as for some reason I did not seem to understand as to what was going on, for a bit of some time. Once it hit me however, I then began to speak to her, a bit loudly, and a bit angrily.
"What are you doing?! I said that we are here! At least drop me off if you are going to leave!" I yelled to her, very upset. She stood there for a few moments, as I could tell that she was breathing in very heavily, and I could tell that she was not happy at all with me at the moment, which I was a bit confused as to what that could be for.
Lilly then suddenly stopped the car, and she turned her head right over to me, staring right in to my soul. It kind of got me on edge as well, as I once again began to feel quite a bit nervous, though I did my best to try not to dip my head down low to the ground, like I usually tended to do.
Lilly stared at me for a few more seconds, with a very angry look on her face. I was not sure what was going on with her at the moment, as I felt that it might have to do with the fact that her friends death had finally began to catch up to her, and it was beginning to hit her deeper than before.
I blinked a few times, as I then nodded to her, as if I was some sort of therapist, as I wanted to let her know that I was being serious with what I had just said to her. She seemed to do the opposite of what it was that I had just done however, as she instead shook her head at me, and then began to speak to me with a very angry voice.
"I said there are 3 apartment complexes! I am not a magician! I do not know which one is your home! I do not have time for all of this! I will not drop you off either, otherwise his death would be in vein!" She said to me. As I took in those words, I realized that she was not angry at all with me in fact.
She instead, was clearly just trying to get me to understand just how important all of this was, that was going on at the current moment. I let out a bit of a quiet sigh, to myself, as I then nodded back to her, understanding why she was the way that she had just been at the moment.
She rolled her eyes, as if she expected me to do the exact same thing that I had just been doing before. I did not do so though, as I realized that she was right with what she had said. I blinked a few times, as I then saw her just go and look at all of the apartments that were ahead of us.
I sighed again, but this time it was a much louder sigh, to make sure that she had heard me do it. Lilly blinked a few times, as she kept her eyes ahead of her, but I knew that she was fully aware of what it was that I was about to sigh, as I then nodded to myself, and then I began to speak to her.
"It is the complex furthest ahead of us, right at the end of the road. Oak Ridges is the name of it, as you can see on the sign." I said to her. Lilly stared ahead of her for a bit of some time, as I wondered if she actually had heard what I had said to her just now.
We both just sat there for some time, as I stared at her, as I watched her just stare at the road. It was just dead silence in the car, which was not how it usually was when you were on this road. Even at night, it always seemed like there were some cars that would be driving past our place.
I shivered, as it made me feel sick to think about all that was going on at the moment. I had come to a bit of a realization, that the man that had killed my mom, might not have actually been a human. Any normal human would not just do something like that, much less in front of a huge crowd of people.
Even if you wanted to say that it was just a crazy dude, which it clearly was not, as I could tell by the skin of the man, and the look on his face, it did not make sense, as to why all of that could be happening not just in that place, but all over the country.
I blinked a few times, as the thought of all of that, just made me feel even more sick. The man had killed my mom, even if it was not a man... He had some how managed to take several hits with a blunt cane, like it was no big deal. It scared me to think about it, as I wondered just what was about to happen to this world.
My father... When he found out the news... Hell... I was not even sure if my father was even alive right now. I blinked my eyes once again, as I realized where it was that we were at, and what it was that we had been doing in the first place.
Just as I looked back at the road, I then suddenly saw Lilly move her hand, just from the corner of my eye. I turned my eyes over to her, to see what was going on, as I then realized what it was that she had been doing. I watched her move the shift in to the spot that said '1', as she then began to drive towards the Oak Ridges sign.
I let out a bit of a sigh of relief, as I moved back a little bit, trying to get comfortable in this very much uncomfortable seat that I was sitting in at the current moment. I sat there, and then I looked ahead of me, just as I had been doing just a few minutes before now, and I watched as we began to draw a little bit closer to the apartment complex.
I looked at the place with a bit of a blank complexion on my face, as I tried not to think of the memories that I had in this place. It felt weird to say it, and to any other normal person, they would think the exact opposite as I, if they were in my shoes.
I loved living here, even more than the very big house that we had lived in when I was a bit younger. Sure, the people in that area, and school, were a lot nicer to me, but the memories I had here just hit me a lot different than the ones I had whilst living there.
I shook my head, as I let out a bit of a soft sigh to myself, as I kept on looking at the road, as I saw us drawing closer and closer to the Oak Ridges sign, that led in to the apartment complex. I looked at it with a bit of a sad smile on my face, at the same time too.
I knew that this might be the last time that I was able to see this place, and I did not know how to handle it... Hell... It more than likely was going to be the last time that I would ever be here, just based on the way that things seemed to be going at the current moment.
We then drove through the entrance. It felt a bit weird to me, as I usually did not drive past the entrance, as I typically was let off the bus around this area. I then had to walk up to the house, from there. It at least made it easier for me to realize where it was that we were going, and where it was that we needed to get to.
We got near the end of the road, where there was 2 separate roads that we could either choose between. I knew the way there, but for some reason I just kept to myself, as if I expected Lilly to perhaps know where it was that we needed to get to next.
I saw a few places ahead of me, as I looked at those, seeing that there was a fair amount of cars there. I had to assume that there was a decent amount of people here, at least about the same amount as there was on a normal day such as today.
In all honesty, it seemed like this might in fact, perhaps, even be a normal day as well, besides the fact that I had not seen a soul in sight, and had not seen a single car drive past us in quite a bit of some time. It was the exact opposite of how it had been a few hours ago, just this morning.
I shivered a little bit, just at even the thought of all of this, as I then turned my head over to Lilly. She seemed to not care at the moment at all, to my surprise, which was the exact opposite of how she had been acting, just a couple of minutes ago.
I blinked a few times however, as I knew that she always was paying attention to me from the corner of her eye, as if she was my mother. She turned her head around to me, as I saw her squint her eyes at me, as she then began to speak to me.
"Alright... So where to next?"