The Dead Live (Book 3)

Chapter 39: Few Months (Bens POV)

We had gone through nearly 20 to 30 houses at this point, as we were nearing the house that I had slept at just a few days ago, which was Kim's house of course. Though I did not know Kim all that well, I was grateful for her, as that had not been the first time that she had come to my rescue, and had saved my life, from an inevitable death, with the situation that I had been in both times it had happened.
It was not Kim who I was excited, or not really excited so to say, but there was a person there that I was wanting to see, so long as they were still there of course. I had to assume that she was still there too, just based off of the fact that we were about half way through our day, and I knew that Kim had been put in to the same task that we were doing at this moment.
That task was, clearing out the community of course, which had been a bit of a rough task say to say so far, as we had let a few families know that it was safe for them to come out, and that we were going to have a meeting in a few days. I could tell just based off of the looks that they had on their faces, that they still were not going to come out of their houses, at least, not until they needed food and water.
I did not blame them for not wanting to go out either, as I was sure that they had witnessed a lot just a few days ago, and they still were not ready to go out, and see what the world was like after all of that. Me and Christian still had not told any of them about all that had really gone down just a few days ago.
We did not want people to be too scared about all of it, as we were just going off of the trust of Shannon, which I was not sure if that was a good idea, or how much trusting her was worth now a days, but she was the leader, and she made a lot of the decisions for the community, so it meant that we had no other choice but to believe her.
I felt a bit sick at that thought at the same time too. She had made the decision that had led to the deaths of a whole lot of people as well, even if she had not known about it, I still could not stop my self from putting a lot of blame on her for it. To be fair, there had to be some one that I had to look to, for me to blame in all of this.
I did not want that person to be my sister either, as it still was going through my head that it could have been my sister that had caused all of this, even after the fact that Shannon had said it was not completely true. I felt like my sister could have done it, as I knew just how much she had been in love with Tony.
She had him back now, well, sort of, as I knew that they had him locked up in a cell at the mountains right now. I then shook my head at those thoughts at the same time too, as I remembered that it might not be completely true at all at the same time either. I remembered that they had said they were going to leave in search for a new home.
That was the last that I had heard from them, and I felt like it was going to be the last that we heard from them for a very long time. I shivered a bit, as I shook off those thoughts at the exact same time too. I knew that at this moment, I should not be stuck on all of those thoughts, as I was sure that I would have plenty of time to do that over the next couple of days.
The first house, unluckily enough for us too, had not been the only house that we had gone in to, only to find out that the family that was in there, were all dead. Most of them had a gun shot wound to the head, but of course, like the first one, a few of them still had a few of the dead left in side of there.
Of course that was our job, and that was what we were here to do today in the first place. We had to clean out the rest of the dead that were left in the community. We had to make it safe to walk the streets again. At the same time too though, I still felt like it might not ever be safe to walk these streets ever again.
I blinked a few times, as I looked ahead at Christian at the same time too, as I saw that he had his head turned to me. I knew why as well, as we were at the house that Sasha had been staying in, and I was fairly certain that she was still in there. At least, I hoped that it was the case still, as I felt like there was still some things that I had to let out to her.
It had hurt me when she had started to ignore me, and she did not want to be around me any longer, but she had told me as to why, and I felt like I had no other choice but to believe her. I let out a bit of a sigh, as I did my best to just shake off all of those thoughts at the same time too.
Christian was staring me, as it was clear that he was waiting for me to speak to him for some odd reason or another, as if it was my house that we were about to walk in to. I tilted my head, as I was a bit confused by it as well, as I blinked a few times too, seeing that he was still just staring at me with quite the blank look on his face.
I let out a bit of a sigh, as it felt like I did not even know all that was going on at the moment. I was a fair bit tired, and I just wanted to go home. I wanted to make sure that my brother was safe, as he was all that I had left, and after his close encounter with death, I knew that I had to hold him as close as possible.
It was not just the fact that I was worried that he might die, which was a lot less likely. It was the fact that I might die, and that Liam might be left with nothing. Who was going to take care of him if I died? Christian surely could not, and if I was going to he honest with my self too, if I was to die, there was a good chance that Christian would as well, as I was always by his side.
I had a bunch of close encounters though at the same time as well, as of late, so I could not just mark that off as not being a possibility at all. I sighed at the same time too, as I also realized that I was being far too negative, and I knew that, that type of attitude would get me no where in my life, as my mom used to say to me.
I dipped my head a bit low to the ground at the same time too, as it hurt me to think back on my mother, as I knew that she was also gone as well. I let out a bit of a sigh, as I knew that Christian was still looking up at me, and he was waiting for me to speak, but if I was going to be honest, I really was not in the mood for all of that right now.
Christian let out an even louder sigh than I just had, as it got my full attention on him, as I lifted my head up, and I squinted my eyes at him at the exact same time too. Christian just shook his head at me, as if he was disappointed in me for some thing, which I had to a clue as to what that could be at all.
I blinked a few times, as I felt like the smartest thing for me to do at this current moment, was to just keep a blank look on my face. It was not a lie to Christian at all, to be fair, as I just really was not sure what was going on at the moment, and what it was that I should even be doing.
Christian stared at me for a bit of some time, as he gave up after a little while longer as well, as it was clear that he could tell that I was not budging one bit either. Christian blinked a few times, as he then began to speak to me at the same time too. I blinked right back at him, but I did in fact listen to what it was that he had to say to me in the first place how ever.
"Ben... We still have a bit of some ways to go, I need you right now kid... We have made it this far... We are almost half way done with the day..." He said to me, as he looked at all of the houses that were still ahead of us, all the way down the street, as it was a lot of houses, and we still had a solid few hours left to go.
I was so worn out, that I did not really care at all, and my mind was drawing a blank, so I really had not taken it what it was that he had just said to me either. I saw that Christian was a bit hurt for some odd reason or another, which was a first for him, as I had never really seen that emotion from him, except for maybe once.
That was the day that I had to kill his wife and child. I knew it was a bit sick for me to think of still, and for me to say it like that as well, but it felt like it was the cold, hard, and honest truth of the matter. Even thinking those sorts of thoughts in my head, I still had a blank look on my face, as it really did not hurt me at all right now.
I wanted to say that it made me feel sick, but at the same time too, I really did not feel all that much right now. I blinked a few times, as I kept on staring down at the ground for quite a bit more of some time. It did not take long to get a reaction from Christian either, as he then put his hand on my shoulder, to try to wake me up, as if I had some how been asleep.
I blinked a few times, as I then lifted my head up at Christian at the exact same time too. I could tell that he was waiting for me to respond back to what it was that he had just said to me. I felt a bit bad for me, as I knew that he needed me right now, but I was just so out of it, it felt like it did not matter.
I had heard what it was that he had said to me, it kind of hurt me that he felt like he needed me right now, just due to the fact that I was so lost at the moment. I was tired, as well as the fact that I was also lost in my head at the same time too, and that was not a good combination of things to be having going on with me at the current moment.
Christian needed me though, and I knew that he was right. I needed to be strong right now, and I needed to wake up. I needed to prove a point, not just to him, but to the entire world, that I was stronger than all of this, and that I did have the strength to fight through all of the pain that was coming my way right now.
There was a lot of people that needed me, and my brother was one of those people. I knew that I had to be strong for him. I let out a bit of a sigh, as I looked at Christian, and I locked my eyes with him at the same time too, letting him know that I had in fact heard what it was that he had just said to me.
I looked at him for quite a bit of some time, until my eyes grew a bit dry, and I had not a choice but to blink them. After I did so, I then nodded to Christian at the same time too, to let him know that I was finally ready to respond to him. He nodded back to me, as I let out a bit of a soft sigh to my self, and then I began to speak up to him.
"I am sorry... You are right... Lets go in to here..." I said to him, as I looked at the house of Kim, that was right in front of us. Christian stared at me for quite a bit of some time, as I could tell that he still was not all too sure that I had meant what I had said, and that I was awake right now. It seemed that he knew me all too well...
This time though, I felt like I could in fact say to my self that I was awake, and I was paying attention to all that was going on around me. This was not some thing to joke around with, nor to push of lightly, as if it was nothing that was important at all. Now that I came to that realization, I felt like I was ready to keep on going.
Christian had his eyes squinted at me still, as I knew that he still did not fully believe what it was that I had just said to him in the first place. I felt like I had to prove a point to him now, as I then squinted my eyes right back at him, to let him know that I was well aware as to what it was that we were doing right now.
Once Christian had seen me do that, he then let out a little bit of a smile for some odd reason or another, as if he was the one that was taking this as some sort of joke, though I knew that was not the case, and I had known him for long enough, to know that most of the time when he smiled, he was not actually happy at all.
I shook my head, as I did my best to shake off all of those thoughts at the exact same time too, as I saw Christian walk up the front steps to Kim's house, who's place we were at right now. I blinked a few times at the exact same time too, as I saw Christian walking up a bit slowly, and quietly.
I also saw that he had his hand on his gun as well, as if he was ready to walk in and start spraying bullets every where too. I blinked a few times, as I was a bit confused by it, as I was not too sure as to what it was that he was doing, and why it seemed like he was ready to shoot the first person that he saw when he walked in.
As Christian got up to the front door, he all of the sudden stopped him self, before he knocked on the door, as if he realized what it was that he was doing. He then put his hand away from his gun, as I heard him let out a very loud sigh at the exact same time too, as he all of the sudden turned his head back over to me.
I was still a bit lost, and I was a bit scared that he was about to shoot some one that was in side of her house, but as soon as Christian looked over to me, I blinked, as I did my best to try not to show that it was what I had thought that he was going to do, as soon as he walked in to the house.
It was a bit too late for that how ever, as I noticed that he had seen the look on my face, as the look on his own face went straight to bit of a guilty look, as he realized just what it was that he was doing. I felt like I could not blame him for it though, as I doubt he was actually going to shoot the kids that were in side of the house, as I knew that it was just natural instinct for him at this point, to be ready to shoot on sight.
Christian still was a bit embarrassed by it, as I could tell, even though I was not judging him at all by it, as I saw him dip his head a little bit low to the ground, as I could tell he felt a bit sick at the thought that he might have just been about to shoot a bunch of people that were in side of there.
I was about to say some thing about it to him, to try to calm him down, and let him know that I was not judging him for it, nor was I upset by it, as I knew that he was used to having to do that, but Christian decided that he was going to speak up to me, before I even had the chance to do so in the first place. I blinked a few times, as I then nodded to him, to let him know that I was listening to what it was that he had to say to me.
"You always have to be ready just in case kid..." He said to me, as he then nodded back to me. I looked at him for a few moments, as I then rolled my eyes at him at the exact same time too, as I was not quite sure why he felt like he had to say any thing about it, or have to explain what it was that he had been doing in the first place.
Christian did not notice me do so at all how ever, as I saw him turn his head back over to the door, as he then stared at it for a few moments, as he once again had the same blank look on his face that he had just a few moments ago, as if he was not sure what it was that he should be doing right now.
I tilted my head at him, though I knew that he could not see me do so at all in the first place any ways, as he had his eyes on the door that was in front of him, as I was a bit confused as to what it was that he was doing, and what it was that was even going on with him at the exact moment as well.
It seemed like he was acting a little bit hypocritical as to what it was that he had said to me earlier. I could tell that he too was quite a bit tired, though he was doing his best to pretend to not just me, but also to him self, that he was not tired at all. I felt like maybe it was not the best idea for us to keep going, but I knew if I was to say any thing to him about it, he would say the exact opposite of that back to me.
I let out a bit of a sigh, as I stared at him for a little bit longer, and then finally, I saw him move along, and do what it was that we had come here to do in the first place. Christian then knocked on the door, just like we always did when we went to a house, not just to make sure that there was some one in there that was alive, but also to make sure that there was no dead in there.
When you knocked on the door to a house, and it was the dead that were in there, they usually went over to the front door, as the dead were always pulled to noise when ever they heard it. It had been used several times to save a lot of peoples lives. I nodded to my self, as I let out a bit of a sigh, as I waited for some one in side to respond to the knock that Christian had just done on the door.
It was dead silence in side for a bit of some time, as I was not sure if I should be worried or not. I felt like the kids could have gone to sleep, but at the same time too, I felt like Sasha should be in the house, and she should respond the knock right away. Perhaps she was still a bit scared about the attack from a few days ago.
I also was a bit worried though, as to the fact that they might have all gone out to check and see why there were a bunch of gun shots just yesterday. I felt like I should not be all that worried about that how ever, as the community had done a fairly good job at clearing the dead from the streets.
I let out a bit of a quiet sigh to my self, as I suddenly heard foot steps from in side of the house, as they were coming over to the front door, to check on who had just knocked at it. I then let out a quiet sigh of relief, as I was glad to hear that there was some one in side, and that they were okay.
After a few more seconds as well, they all of the sudden went up to the front door, and they then opened it. I got a bit excited, as it first I thought that it might be Sasha. I had always been like that when I was around her, as I always loved to see her face, but unfortunately this time, it was not her face at all.
I dipped my head a little bit low to the ground, as I was a bit sad, and a bit disappointed at the same time too, as I saw that it was just Kim. I blinked a few times, as I stared down at the ground at the same time as well, as I also was a bit surprised that she was back home so early. I wondered if the group of people that she was with had let her go back home early, as they knew that she had kids that might be worried sick about her.
I shook my head, as I felt like it did not matter at the same time too, as I kept my head down low to the ground for a little bit longer. I stared down at the ground for a bit of some time, until I heard the voice of Kim, as she finally decided to speak, and I looked at her from the corner of my eye, so that I listened to what it was that she had to say.
"You here to check on my place Christian I see... It is all safe here... You are back so soon, huh Ben?" Kim said to me with a bit of a smile on her face at the same time too, as some how it seemed like she was enjoying the situation that we were in right now, as if this was not all scary, and a lot of people had not just died.
I shook my head at the same time too, as I knew that was more than likely not what her thoughts were on at all at this exact moment, as she had just made a bit of a joke to lighten up the mood that was in the air, as she had seen that I had my head dipped low to the ground at the exact same time too.
I appreciated the effort, but if I was going to be honest with my self, I really was not in the mood at all for it right now, as I was not in the joking mood. I was worried sick about a whole lot of people, and I just wanted to go back home, make sure that my brother was still there, and that he was okay, and once I checked in on all of that, I wanted to get an extended amount of sleep in my own bed for once.
I am sure that Chester had not let Liam out of the house at all last night, and he had not let him out of the house at all today, as he was probably still worried sick about all of the dead that were all over the place, but I still could not help but to be worried, and want to get back as soon as possible, to make sure that he was in fact okay.
I let out quite the loud sigh, as I then lifted my head up and Kim, and I smiled back at her, as it was a bit of a fake smile as well, as I could tell that she was not buying it at all, as she squinted her eyes at me, just as soon as she had seen me do so in the very first place, as she could clearly tell that I was not happy at all.
I nodded to her, to let her know that I was about to speak up to her how ever, as she kept her eyes squinted at me, as if I was being suspicious for some odd reason or another, but she did in fact nod back to me, to let me know that she was listening, as I then began to speak up to her.
"Yeah... I am back... Is Sasha okay?" I said, turned my head around Kim, as if I expected to see Sasha right behind Kim, wondering who was at the front door to the house. I stared at the dark room behind her for quite a bit of some time, as I did not see any movement in side of there at all, much to my disappointment.
I dipped my head a little bit low to the ground once again, as I let out quite the loud sigh. I had to assume that she must be taking care of Kim's kids, or she had gone to the other room, so that she could get some sleep for the night. It meant that I was not going to be able to talk to her at all, which saddened me quite a bit as well.
I knew that Christian just wanted to go to the next house, as it was clear to me that he just wanted to get this all done, so that he could go back home, and he could get some sleep in his own bed. I could tell just by the look on his face, that he was not okay with the fact that we were getting in to a conversation with one another.
I figured that I should just make it short too, as I had to assume that I was not going to be able to talk to her at all, no matter what the answer was to that question that I had just asked Kim. I let out a bit of a soft sigh, as that did not matter all that much to me, as I had assumed that before now.
I was just glad that she was talking to me once again, and I simply just wanted to make sure that she was okay, and that nothing had happened to her either. I nodded to my self, as I looked at Kim, as I saw that she had a bit of an embarrassed look on her face too, at the same time as well, which had me quite a bit confused, as I tilted my head at her.
She had her head dipped a little bit low to the ground for some odd reason or another, as it seemed that she was not sure how to answer that question for some odd reason or another. After a few moments, she lifted her head up to me how ever, as she let out quite a loud sigh, as she then nodded to me, as she began to speak to me, and I nodded back to her, as I listened to what it was that she had to say.
"Shes not here any more... She left to go back home after I got back, and I told her the news..." She said to me. I looked at her for a few moments, as I was about to nod back as an answer, but I began to get a bit scared, and a bit worried for her at the exact same time too, as I knew that we had gone to clear out the rest of the dead in the community, but I still could not help but be scared for her, that she had gone back to her home, as I knew that she lived there alone. Kim saw that look on my face as well, as she then began to continue to speak to me once again, and I blinked my eyes, as I listened to what it was that she had to say as well. "I let her go back home with Donald... They are neighbors... She is going to be okay, do not worry..."
I looked at her for a few moments, as I still could not help but still be worried for a few moments, but it then hit me as to what it was that she had just said, as I let out a little bit of a sigh of relief, as I realized that Sasha was going to be okay, and that she was getting home safe, as I knew that Donald would take care of her, as he had been with Kim when they had saved our lives.
I still had my head dipped a little bit low to the ground how ever, as I was a little bit disappointed that I was not going to be able to speak to her still, but as long as she was going to be okay, I felt like I should not be greedy, and I should just be happy with the response that I had got from Kim.
I let out quite the heavy sigh, as I lifted my head up to Kim at the same time too, as I still saw that she was a bit embarrassed with the fact that she had let Sasha go. I really did not blame her, as I was sure that Sasha had more than likely asked if she was good to leave the house in the first place any ways.
I nodded to Kim, as I saw that Christian had his eyes squinted at me at the exact same time too, as I saw him put a finger up to his wrist, where he had a watch, and he tapped on it a few times, as it was clear that he was telling me that I was wasting a bunch of time, and we needed to get going.
I blinked a few times, as I took those thoughts in my head at the same time too, and I did my best to not let it get too in my head, as I looked over at Kim, and I nodded in response to her at the exact same time as well. She nodded back to me, as the look that she had on her face before then quickly went away. I then began to speak to her once I knew that it was okay to as well.
"Well as long as she is okay, than it is fine with me..." I said to her at first, as it was really all that it felt like I had needed to say to her in the first place. She looked at me with a bit of a sad smile, which confused me a bit, as she nodded to me once again. I blinked a few times, as I remembered what it was that Christian had just been trying to tell me just a few moments ago as well, as I nodded back to her once again too, as I began to continue with where I had left off in speaking after just a couple seconds of silence. "Well... You take care of your kids, me and Christian ought to be on our way now I suppose."
I looked over at Christian at the same time too, to let him know that I was ready to go. Christian looked at me, as he nodded to me at the same time as well, as I saw him smile a bit too, as it was clear that he was happy that I had got the memo, and that I had got straight to the point with Kim.
I let out a bit of a sigh, as Christian looked over to Kim, keeping the same smile on his face, as he nodded to her, and he then began to walk down the steps to their front porch. Kim had her head tilted a bit as well, for some odd reason or another, but I shook off all of those thoughts, as I knew that I should not be worried about her at all.
Christian walked up to me, still with the same smile on his face, as it had probably been the longest time that I had seem him smile, as he then put his hand to my shoulder, to let me know that it was time to go. I looked at him for a few moments, as I let out a bit of a sigh, as I then nodded to him at the exact same time as well.
I then turned my head around, as I took the first steps down the gravel road of Kim's house, that led to the streets that were ahead of us. Just as I was about ready to continue on with my day, I heard Kim begin to speak up one last time to me how ever, as I turned my head around, to hear what it was that she had to say to me in the very first place.
"Ben... I can tell that you are tired... You go back home and get some sleep, I will go with Christian and finish off the rest of the houses... I can tell that you are tired..." She said to me at first as I blinked a few times at the same time as well, as I was a bit shocked with what she had just said to me, and what she had just offered me as well. I blinked a few times as I saw her look in side of her house, as it was clear she was thinking about her kids. I dipped my head a bit low at the same time too, as I felt like I should say no, as I knew that she would be worried about her kids. I looked down at the ground for a bit of some time, as I then heard her begin to speak up to me once again, and I looked up at her to hear what it was that she had to continue off with. "My kids will be fine... I will shut all the doors, and I feel like it is a lot safer now."
She nodded to me after she had said it, to let me know that she wholeheartedly believed that what she had just said was true. I still felt a little bit worried, but at the same time as well, I was so tired, and I felt like I could not say no to the offer, as I was fairly certain that she would not let me do so any ways, just based off of the look that I saw on her face, and the fact that she had her eyes squinted at me.
I blinked a few times, as I was not so sure as to what to respond to her with, as I was a bit worried about the fact of me agreeing to the offer. I saw that Christian too had his eyes squinted at me, as I could tell that he wanted me to say no. I was not sure what to do, as I let out a bit of a sigh.
Kim began to walk over to me at the same time too, as it seemed like it was clear that she had already made up her own mind, as she closed the front door to her house behind her, and she began to walk over to us. Christian kept his eyes squinted at me, as he just ignored the fact that she was walking up to the both of us.
I was a bit scared to say yes, as I was fairly certain that Christian was not okay with it, but as I continued to stand in place, I began to grow more and more tired by each passing moment. I was fairly certain that I could not last another few hours, and any more physical labor that was about to come my way.
I let out a bit of a sigh, as I also knew at the same time too, that I wanted to make sure that my brother was okay, as he was all that I had left, and I was so worried about losing him at this point. I did my best to ignore the look on the face of Christian, that he was giving me, as I looked right back at Kim.
After a few more seconds, I let out a bit of a soft sigh, as I knew what my answer had to be no matter how much it upset Christian, as I then nodded to Kim in response. She smiled back at me, as she nodded back to me, as she then listened as to what it was that I had to say to her, as I then began to speak to her, completely ignoring Christian.
"Thank you... That is much appreciated, words can not even describe how grateful I am to you for that..." I said to her, smiling right back at her. I could tell that Christian was not happy at all with that response, but honestly, I did not care at all, as I just wanted to go back home, make sure Liam was okay, and then get some sleep.
I looked away from Christian, as I then looked over to where my house was in the distance, even though I could not see it through the crops that were in the way, and the fact that it was a solid few miles away. I then nodded to my self, as I did not care what Christian had to say to me at all, as I began to walk over to it.
Luckily enough for me as well, Christian did not say a word, though I felt like I could tell that he was fuming at the fact that I had not denied Kim of the offer. I shook my head, as I kept on walking, with a bit of a smile on my face too, as I was happy to know that I was going to get back home, and that I could talk to my little brother to make sure that he was okay, before I got to get some much needed rest.
I sighed, as I heard their foot steps from behind me, as I knew that they were going in the opposite direction of me. It would have been a long walk if I had not said yes, so I was sure that I had made the correct decision, as I shook off all of those thoughts at the same time as well, and then I kept of heading back home.