The wind was harsh and my small brown trench coat was cute, but it definitely wasn't keeping me warm. My hair blew all over, it was a really bad idea to leave the house with wet hair in this weather.
I could've been sitting in my car but I couldn't find it in myself to sit still. My hands kept running up and down my jeans at their own accord and regardless of how cold it was I could feel sweat forming at my neck.
I'd sent out my texts, made my calls to be sure, all I had to do was wait. Well waiting deemed itself a harder task than I expected. Would he show up? Would I be able to go through with everything I promised myself I'd do when I finally made this decision? Would I regret my choice?
All these questions jogged through my head, a marathon of questions I couldn't answer. Time wasn't my friend. It felt like I'd been waiting for days. Days in the same spot, doing the same thing, just waiting. I didn't know how to take it.
It was like having a presentation for the first time in middle school and all you can think about is if anyone was going to pay attention or if you were going to mess up all the words you'd went over so many times in your head. You didn't want to mess up because you were presenting in front of someone you'd have to see again once it was all over.
To sum up my feelings in one word, nervous. I was nervous. Scared out of my boots because this was my life. Sure, I'm young but this choice right now made my next few months at least.
Shadows moving in my peripheral vision reluctantly pulled me out of my nervous thoughts. His hair was messy, his grey shirt longer than his thin spring jacket stood out against his dark jeans, and overall he looked tired.
Hands stuffed into the pockets of his jacket, he came to a halt in front of me. He didn't speak or reach to touch me like I was used to.
It stung, seeing him. Like this. Any other time we met outside of school it was filled with laughs and good vibes, today he looked ready to accept whatever I said before I even uttered a word to him.
He already looked hurt without me having to open my mouth.
Out of habit I pulled him into a hug. His tall build making it harder for me to wrap my arms around his neck but I needed this. I needed to be sated by his natural scent. I needed to feel some kind of comfort. I couldn't say what I had to say without it, my nerves wouldn't allow me to.
For a long while, he didn't move to hug me back. Standing unruffled by my hug, we stood that way, with my arms wrapped tightly around his neck while his arms stayed firm on my waist, not really hugging me back but granting me with some kind of contact.
I pulled back to meet hazel eyes and as cliche it sounds, it was like my world slowed down a little. Tiny specks of gold that used to live there were dark, saddened, and I felt like it was possibly my fault.
"Get on with it, Stac." He said, his voice a whisper between the small space between us.
I leaned up to press my lips against his. A small spark shooting up my spine and traveling to my arms and back as his returned my gentle kiss. We didn't move away or make the kiss deeper. Just his lips on mine and mine on his in a kiss that felt so simple but full of emotion that I wasn't really sure I understood.
"This is so stupid." I blew out once we pulled apart.
My right hand laid on his cheek as my left played with a few strands of hair that fell at the back of his neck.
"This is so silly. Me. Us. Here. It's so silly and it's so confusing and I'm so sorry for ever putting you through this." I started, while it took everything in me to continue looking into his eyes, I continued. "I was selfish. To continue stringing you along when I knew someone else partly had my attention. Rather consciously or not, I felt it. Felt something else pulling my attention but still, I selfishly clung onto both of you and for that I'm sorry."
He didn't say much, only the occasionally nod. I took it as him allowing me to speak so I went on.
"Isaiah, I'm so sorry. I shou-" I began again before his abrupt kiss silenced all my upcoming words.
The kiss much more romantic than the last. His hands met my still damp hair, pulling softly at the blonde strands. My mind got lost in our kiss while his lips sucked away any trace of bad words I had left to say. Our lips worked in sync and the kiss was mind numbing, over way too soon.
"I know it'll be our last time." Isaiah said softly while our foreheads rested on each others.
"Sadly, it will and I'm so sorry." I chuckled solemnly.
Isaiah only nodded his head and hid his eyes under his thick lashes, casting his gaze elsewhere.
"You're great. But I won't allow you to risk it. I can't risk it. It's your job. Our reputations. Your life. As much as we feel like we work, and we're great together, the law doesn't feel the same. They don't care about how much we have in common or how we truly meet. The world out there, is unforgiving. I love you too much to do that to you. I won't. But as much as I love you, I'm not in love with you, Isaiah. We've both known it for a long time I think. You aren't in love with me either.
What we had was something special, but what I can have with someone else can be just as special. And we won't have to be a secret. We won't have to worry about being seen or what people will think if they found out and I think at my age I deserve that. You deserve that, to be with someone you can show off and be shown off yourself. We're complicated and complications aren't what we both need right now." I said with a sigh.
Isaiah looked at me like I was the most complex piece of art he'd ever laid his eyes on and he smiled. "You can meet the perfect person at the worst time. That's what happened to us, Stac. When I seen you at the cafe that was my chance to start over. Get away from people like Lillian and my brother. My mistake was expecting you to be okay with sharing yourself when I didn't share any pieces of me. I kept my secrets and expected all of yours, for that I'm sorry. How I wish I wasn't your teacher, I'd probably be begging you to reconsider right now." He smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind my cold ears.
"But you're right, we are a huge risk. One I was selfish to expect you to take because I was willing to. You're stubborn, I knew that early on, I should have known you wouldn't allow us to go on long." Isaiah said while pulling me into a big hug, one I quickly returned.
All my nerves from before vanished into thin air as I hugged Isaiah tightly. A faint, relieved smile painted my face after he pulled away from me.
"You'll always be my one that got away." He kissed my forehead tenderly.
I nodded as I lifted my head from his hold to look into his soft hazel eyes this way one last time. "I just hope you understand."
We unwrapped ourselves from each others hold and Isaiah didn't speak anymore. He granted me with a slight nod before he briskly walked away.
It felt like a weight I was unaware of had been heaved off my back and my world suddenly seemed just a tad clearer. I knew who I wanted, I just hoped he still wanted me.
-Blah blah, we all know how I am. I didn't proofread really. This took me forever. Well, no, not really. I wrote this in about 2 hours or so. It just took me so long to finally sit down and write it. I've been tired and kind of busy, I guess. There will be one more chapter which will probably be up shortly after this one and it will be the FINAL chapter. I have this thing where I like things to end in a 5 or 0, so I couldn't have just 29 chapters lol. Like a weird pet peeve of mine so I stretched it into one more chapter lol. So hope you guys enjoyed this one, tell me what you think and buckle your seat belts because this plane is about to land shortly.(sorry, that was lame) AND BIG BIG THANKS TO Yaselyn_Smile for your comments on the last chapter, it really got me inspired to write these last two. And morethan1meaning AS WELL AS Paranoia4 & rummy_licious_xoxo FOR VOTING FOR ALL THESE CHAPTERS, EVEN THE GOD AWFUL ONES. (I'm sure it was more of you but those are the ones I remember) Anyway....you guys probably didn't even read this whole thing. I'm ranting. Bye lol :)
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We Really Shouldn't (student/teacher relationship)
Romance"Your sarcasm is cute, but you don't have to use it so often." He was smiling. "This is a pretty open place to meet your student." "Which is true." Nodding his head but not dropping my hand or creating a space between us. "Okay. Sooo still haven't...
