Twin Souls

⚘20⚘

Sanaa ☯️

I guess it was fair to say that the rest of the evening was a catastrophe. My siblings discovered the bitter truth and the family had a disastrous scream fest.

I covered my body with my blanket as the tears soaked my pillow. More questions flooded my mind as the time went by.

Why did he do it?

Where did the rest of us go wrong?

Did he dismiss our family time because of misplaced priorities?"

Where did his loving, kind self go?

What would have happened if we never found out?

How didn't I notice that Mom was holding such a huge secret?

Why didn't she react sooner? What is she hiding?

Who else could have been involved?

What is running through the minds of my siblings?

The question I was scared to ask myself because I wasn't ready to brace myself for a crushing answer was: How will the future of my family look like?

I proceeded to twist and turn until I fell asleep.

dream state

"What's wrong, Sanaa? I have this heavy feeling in my chest and I'm feeling teary eyed which is something I haven't felt in years," he said, walking towards me.

My eyes diverted from his chest to the floor. I lost my voice due to the argument and tears but I mustered the strength to say,"Everything."

Without a word, he pulled me into a warm hug. At that moment, I lost all control and let the tears flow, which ended up soaking his t-shirt. He pressed his chin against my head as I continously mumbled, "I'm so stupid."

"Hey, what did you do?" he asked in a scolding tone. "You're not to blame."

"I'm not any better," I whispered. "I knew. In my own little confusing way, I knew. Maybe if I had mentioned something earlier, things would have been different. It shouldn't have gone that far."

"Let's sit down and take steady breaths," he said softly.

We sat on the slightly wet grass and I began to take slow, steady breaths. He rubbed my back in a comforting manner as I collected my thoughts. It was a relief to talk about it without directly telling him what had happened. He just knew.

"Better?" he asked in a hopeful tone.

For now.

I simply nodded in response and cleared my throat before speaking.

"When I was about nine, I accidentally glanced at my dad's phone while he was talking about her. He wrote," Good morning, Baby" and before I could realise it, he scolded me in an alarming way, which caught my mother's attention, who also happened to be there. I never said anything to my mother, which was quite out of character. The perfect image I had of him completely threw me off guard. I mean, I would've never thought that far in my life because of the love we received from him at the time. I guess I was wrong," I explained, bitterly chuckling at the last part.