Twin Souls

⚘23⚘

Sanaa ☯️

My heart began to race as I skimmed over the text a couple of times. I would have never thought that he would like me due to our obvious differences but after thinking about it, we weren't so different after all.

In panic, I threw my phone across the room. I didn't know how to reply and a part of me thought about not replying at all. The memories of everyone telling me about his feelings began to hit me. To be honest, I wasn't the brightest when it came to the navigation of feelings despite my intelligence. As embarrassing as it was to admit it to myself, the signs were clear. I was just too stupid to notice them.

"I do not have the energy to deal with it," I mumbled, picking my undamaged phone from the floor before switching it off. "I need to sleep on it, preferably forever."

The following day I sat on the dining table, nervously tapping my nails against my half empty teacup. Ama sat beside me with a sceptical look on her face.

"Don't make smashing items a usual habit," she warned.

"Good morning to you too, dearest sister," I greeted with a tight smile. "Yes, I did happen to fling my phone across the room but it was for a shocking reason to me."

"What could that be?" she asked with a stupid grin.

"Damon revealed his true feelings towards me."

"Really? I thought that he would eventually die with his feelings."

"What?"

"Yes, Sanaa. The guy has had a crush on you since we stepped into the school."

"Ugh!" I groaned, face-palming. "Can someone just get me a clown outfit so that I can visualise my stupidity?"

"Don't be so harsh with yourself," Ama said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "It's one of the many results of self manipulation."

"Are you being serious?"

"Look, Sanaa," she started, maintaining heavy eye contact with me. "You're not only my sister but my best friend. You know what I'm referring to. Please don't make me to say it out loud."

I sheeply nodded my head as I realised what she was referring to and to be frank, she was right. My insecurities ruled over my life. I despised the way I looked, thought and felt most of the time and had the tendency to talk down on myself, which led to my scepticism regarding the compliments I received. How did I expect to believe that anyone would like me if I barely liked myself?

I nodded, sighing as I took my cup to wash it. My sensitivity was at a all time high, which meant a high amount of self criticism and frequent crying episodes. I already knew the solution, which was confronting my inner self but I was consumed by the fear of unravelling things I hadn't discovered about myself.

My internal dilemma was disrupted by my mind's return to reality. I went to. The living room to see Kai watching TV.

"Hey, cub. What are you watching?" I asked, walking closer to him.

Without answering he sent me a nervous smile, before splitting his glance between me and the TV.

"Why do you look nervous?" I raised my eyebrow.