Ishq Kinara[Love Ashore] Complete

38. Ships in the night

The night had fallen on Durrani House after an evening full of activity. For some A win. A triumph. For others a nuisance. And for a small bunch of people, a full stop. A full stop to many things. But still everyone gathered around had smiled and laughed a lot. Or maybe pretended to. No one could tell. For an outsider this would look like a family event with happiness as its core, but the reality was laced with harsh realities and ulterior motives.

Elaf wasn't the one to ever fret over how she looked. She found the whole idea of dressing up and spending hours getting ready bizarre. If it were on her, she'd just put on her dress, tie her already shoulder length hair in a bun and just get done with it.

Maybe that was the reason she had taken no interest in any kind of preparation for today, for she was looking at herself properly after the whole thing had been done and dusted almost an hour back. Or maybe because it didn't matter much. How she looked, what she was wearing. None of it mattered to her.

She tucked the loose strands of her hair behind her ears and started with the process of getting back to normal.

Normal. She wanted to laugh at her own thoughts.

Getting already tired with the task, she leaned into the side of the dresser away from her own reflection.

She couldn't face herself.

Because whenever she did, she felt like someone was mocking her there in the shadows. Elaf Daud, where did your bravado vanish? What became of your no nonsense attitude? You never sat quiet when it was about other people, why did you do it for your own freaking self.

The voice could be of Safwa, or Sarim. She supposed it could be Hesham's as well. Because none of her friends right now were happy with how she had dealt with everything.

They thought she had a choice. They didn't know she wasn't given one.

Brave. Courageous. Fighting for the right.

A facade.

She had thought about it, what it would be like if she refused. If she told everyone that she couldn't stand Ruman, getting engaged to him was a nightmare and she never really liked nightmares. They stay with you even when you've woken up and the flashes creep into your everyday normal routine and make you suffer without being vivid. They can do so much just being in the shadows.

But what would be the consequences?

Her Dado making a racket out of it. The whole extended family for that matter. Her mother would again become a direct target in a situation where she wasn't even directly involved. Her past and the stand she took for herself all those years back would again come back in the tea time conversations and she'd be subjected to the jabs and taunts. A repeated occurance in Durrani House.

Elaf could stand for herself, she should've. But how could she stop what would follow? They weren't going anywhere anytime soon. Their financial condition wasn't stable. With Daud still jobless and Elaf not out there working, she tried but it didn't end up well. In fact it ended up in her life turning upside down. They were basically at the mercy of the Durranis for everything and even though Elaf hated it, she had no way yet to get out of here. The family wouldn't let it slide for days, weeks and months to come. Could she subject her own mother to this kind of mental torture? Why was it the mother's fault when the child acted in a way that wasn't deemed suitable by society's standards? Yusra was already under so much fire and Elaf could never push her into more.

The matter with her father was an altogether different one.

All her life, Elaf had seen him as some kind of hero, and he was. For her he was. His approach towards her was always so doting. He never raised his voice at her. Never rebuked her for anything. This was part of the reason she was so confident in herself. Never once in her childhood she was told that she should tone down on anything. Yusra used to try but Daud even never let her. Her friends in high school were always envious that she got such a cool Dad who was so present in her life. Elaf revelled in this. She cherished it. And she preserved it on the back of her mind, into her subconscious. So much that she was sure her father could do no wrong. She made him something he wasn't, and forgot what he really was. A human. A flawed human.