The Dalish Warden (The Daughters of Thedas Book 1)

32: Alistair's Confession

We made our way back to where we'd left Brother Genitivi.

Enroute, Alistair took my arm and pulled me to the back of the group. "So all this time we've spent together... you know, the tragedy, the brushes with death, the constant battles with the whole Blight looming over us... will you miss it once it's over?"

I looked at him, a small smile starting to play on my lips. "Miss the constant battles? Or miss you?" I wouldn't miss the battles. When it was all over and we survived, I would miss Alistair something fierce. And for more reasons than because of our companionship and the fact we were the last Grey Wardens.

"I know it... might sound strange, considering we haven't known each other for very long, but I've come to... care for you. A great deal."

I stopped. Luckily, Alistair and I were at the back of the group. I really couldn't believe what he had just said. He was echoing my thoughts of the past few days. Was it possible?

"I think maybe it's because we've gone through so much together," He rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know. Or maybe I'm imagining it. Maybe I'm fooling myself," He looked at me in a way he had never looked at me before, making my heart race. "Am I? Fooling myself? Or do you think you might ever... feel the same way about me?" The wondering I had been doing since shortly before beginning this quest for the Ashes had just been confirmed. A human could care deeply for an Elf. And I knew an Elf could love a human. Yes, I loved Alistair. I stopped trying to convince myself otherwise, it was only causing more confusion on my part.

"I think I already do," I said, softly.

He smiled. "So I fooled you, did I? Good to know." He bent down and kissed me. It didn't matter that we were surrounded by ice and snow in a ruined temple. I felt that the only thing keeping me on the ground was Alistair's lips pressed to mine, his arms pulling me close to him and my hands on those arms. I could have stayed there forever, forgetting the Blight, the Ashes, and everything but his warmth and scent.  He pulled away. "That... that wasn't too soon, was it?"

I smiled. "I don't know. I need more testing to be sure."

He grinned, breathless. "Well, I'll have to arrange that then, won't I? Maker's breath, but you're beautiful. I am a lucky man. Now, let's get back to... what we were up to before. Lest I forget why we're here."

We joined the others, who had met back up with Genitivi while Alistair and I were distracted.

"Where were you two?" Morrigan asked.

Wynne had a knowing look on her face. I hoped she wasn't going to call us out on it.

"Thought we saw movement and we went to check it out," Alistair said, saving me from having to make up something. "Just a fox."

"You were gone for quite some time," Genitivi said. "Well? Did you find it?"

I held up the pouch of Ashes.

"Is that... Oh, there is some dust on—no, that's not dust... Oh, Maker!... I am not worthy to look upon... What... what was it like? Coming to the Urn, I mean?"

"Nothing has touched me more deeply." My old emotional wounds had been opened. Although I'd been surprised at the faith I'd shown to a god I didn't even believe in. Maybe it was truly the Creators that had guided me, but something told me they didn't have a hand in it.

"You are a very fortunate person. And so am I. Perhaps my research will not seem so much like blasphemy to the Chantry now. I must return home. I have much to do. If you ever find yourself in Denerim, please visit me. I am not a rich man but I have a small collection of... interesting artifacts and I do owe you a reward for coming to my rescue. I hope to see you soon, my friend."