apologize

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Will's POV:

When I woke up this morning, I felt really sick. The kind of sick where you think you might puke. But that was a good sign. Because today was the day I would suck it up and apologize to Brian. We hadn't been talking in five days, but it felt like forever. He probably wouldn't answer if I texted him. Instead, I looked for him at school.

I didn't really plan how I would come out, if I would do it after I apologized, or if I would just publicly announce it. I had no strategy except make Brian happy. But where the heck was Brian? How could one person disappear into thin air. He must be somewhere.

I had nearly given up on finding him, cursing under my breath. Most of the school activities we're done for the semester, and I didn't have class with him until Wednesday. That was two whole days of torture. I contemplated calling him, when I found him sitting alone reading a book. My heart did a strange twist when I realized he was sitting in front of the janitors closet. Those were good times. And I had the chance to bring them back. Even make them better, as we wouldn't have to hide in the closet. Literally.

I rushed up to Brian like a crazy man caught in a psychosis. Brian looked startled when he saw me, cautiously putting down the book. He looked like he wanted to leave, until he saw my expression. I don't know how I looked, but it was enough to change him from uncomfortable to concerned in the blink of an eye. "C-can I talk to you?", my voice came out hoarse, betraying me. "Sure, what's wrong?", Brian asked, standing up. I grabbed his hand and dragged him inside the closet, locking the door.

"What are you doing?", Brian asked me, arms crossed. He was glaring daggers at me, unlike how I almost couldn't look him in the eye. "I just need to do this. Because you are the most amazing person I've ever met. You can be annoying and stubborn, and you swear a lot." Brian gave me an unimpressed look. "However", I continued. "I have fallen in love with every single thing about you. And the time we spent together was fantastic. I was the one who messed everything up. I know that. And I'm not expecting you to forgive me, but I owe you this apology. I'm very sorry that I acted ashamed around you. The truth is I'm a coward. I know it's not an excuse, but because of things that happened at my old school, I became paranoid. I started to hate myself for being gay, I couldn't even admit it out loud. But I just want you to know I regret not being there for you. Because I do care about you. More than anything else."

"And I'm sorry. I know I'm not the kind of man you deserve..." "Man?", Brian cut me off. "You're nothing but a little boy", sneered. "You know what else you are?", he asked. I felt my heart sink. I shook my head, staring at the tip of my shoes. "You're an asshole." I raise my head, and saw Brian staring back at me, a small smile on his face. "Yeah?", I said. "Yeah." He took a step closer. "What else am I?", I asked, my voice shaking. "You're a dickhead. And a shitface. And a stupid jerk", he continued, smile growing. I reached out to him with a shaking hand. Slowly, I placed it on his face, stroking his cheek with my thumb. "But?", I asked. Brain was blushing now, leaning closer to me. "But, I kinda like you", he murmured. I leaned in and kissed him. "You still like me, even though I'm an asshole?", I teased. "I don't like you that much, you're just handsome", he snapped, trying to hide his blushing face. I felt my own cheeks heating up. Brian gazed at me through his lashes. "I gave you a compliment. This isn't charity, compliment me back", he ordered.

I wrapped my arms around him and lifted him with ease. He yelped as I held him by the thighs, pressing him against the wall. Overcoming the shock, he wrapped his legs around my waist and arms around my neck. "You are handsome", I said, kissing his neck. "And beautiful. And smart. And kind. And hardworking", I said as I trailed kisses from his neck up to his cheek. "And I'm in love with you", I said, pecking him on the lips. Brian nuzzled his head in the crook of my neck. "Ugh shut up stupid", he whined. "And I'm the luckiest man alive, because you're around", I whispered. 

I put him down and wrapped my hands around his neck. "Does this mean we're boyfriends now?", I asked. "Uhh", Brian looked down at the ground, avoiding my gaze. "Oh, I just assumed...", I trailed off. Of course he wouldn't immediately jump back into my arms and be my boyfriend. I cursed myself for rushing it. I needed to rebuild his trust. I recoiled inside, loosening my grip, retracting my arms. Brian grabbed my hands. "I want to have a trial period", he declared. "A trial period?", I questioned. "Yes. I know you're experienced with this stuff, but I'm not", he sounded strict, but also vulnerable. "You have been all my firsts. And I'm not gonna let you be my first relationship before I know that you are going to treat me right", he said. I nodded. "Hey, I don't know if it makes it better, but you are the first boy I've ever done anything with", I told him. He wrapped his hands around my waist, and I hugged him tightly. "I'll prove it to you. I'll show you how I should have treated you from the start", I promised him.

A/N: do you think Will deserves a second chance? I guess we'll have to see.

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