dirty secrets

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Brian's POV:

I was shook. I was stunned. I was flabbergasted. What the fuck was Eric doing here. How? What was even happening. I felt everyone's eyes on me. They were waiting for my reaction. They must have planned this. 

"Hey", I choked out. "What are you doing here?", I asked in a strained voice. "I was coming home on a surprise visit!", Eric grinned and opened his arms, inviting me to hug him. I reluctantly did. "I was gonna surprise you and everything, but I called mother just in case, and she told me you were invited to your friends house. So she called Amber, and we decided to all surprise you", he cheerfully said. I scrunched my nose. Amber? Since when did he get close with Will's mom? They had known each other for what? Like, an hour? I was feeling my mood turn sour, but I tried to pick myself up. He was, after all, here for me.

"I really missed you", I said, which was true. I did really miss my brother. The fact that I felt like a clueless idiot baby around him was not his fault. He had always been a big inspiration and motivation for me as a kid, and I could genuinely say I wanted to be like him when I grow up. Despite how awesome he was, he never rubbed it in my face or made me feel bad. That was mostly me. 

"Let's eat!", Amber proclaimed, clasping her hands to get our attention. We all nodded and sat down. Will and I sat next to each other, while Eric sat in front Will and mother sat in front of me. Amber sat at the head of the table like the boss she is. At first, things were fine. We were all eating. But then conversation started. "So, where do you want to study, Brian?", Amber asked. "Oh, I applied to several colleges, but I hope to be accepted into this medium sized one in new York", I replied. "Eric goes to Harvard!", my mother mentioned. "Wow, Harvard? You must be a genius!", Amber said. "Oh, please", Eric mumbled, scratching his neck. 

The rest of dinner pretty much went on with that topic. What it was like at Harvard. What Eric studied. I could sense Eric was uncomfortable. He answered in short but polite phrases, often glancing at me. He even tried to change the subject to me several times, but my mom wouldn't take the hint. She kept praising him and bragging about his accomplishments. Amber, who was lively and social, kept asking questions whenever my mother mentioned something new about Eric. But at some point, even she realized how all the conversation revolved around Eric.

The only one who didn't speak at all was Will. He was quiet during the whole meal. He didn't seem to pay attention to Eric either. He couldn't care less about Eric, and that kinda made me feel better. Kinda. I clenched my fist around my shirt. This was supposed to be my evening. I sounded egoistic, but I couldn't care less about talking about myself. It was just... I had planned to come out to mom tonight. Introduce Will as my boyfriend. Now that plan went down the drain.

I considered telling them after. At some point, we would have gone through Eric's entire life story. Surely there couldn't be more to say. As we were cleaning the table, Will pulled me aside. "Are you okay?", he asked. I nodded. "I'm fine", I replied. 

"I didn't have anything to do with this", he blurted out. I blinked. "I.. I just wanted you to know. If I had known they were planning this, I would have prepared you", he explained. I smiled. "Thanks. I'm not mad. Not at you, at least. It's just. I was planning on coming out to my mother tonight", I whispered the last part so no one would hear. Will nodded. "I'll help you as best as I can", he whispered back. When I turned to look back at the kitchen, I saw Eric staring at us. I couldn't quite read his expression. 

We sat in one of the living rooms when Eric decided to announce something. Amber and my mother had been chatting among themselves, and I was anxiously looking for an opportunity to interfere. "There's another reason that I am here", Eric declared. "There's something I need to tell you both", he looked at mother and me. "Uhm, there's actually something I would like to say too", I said. "What is it?", Will asked, with the worst acting I've ever witnessed. Points for trying though. "Brian, this is really important. Is it okay if I say this first? I promise I'll listen to you afterwards", he said in a calm and gentle tone. "It's fine", I reluctantly said.

"Mom, Brian, I am engaged. I met this girl named Sarah. She's a year older than me, and she's studying to become a doctor", he announced. "Oh my, you're engaged? You have never told us about a girlfriend before!", my mother shouted. "Well, I didn't want to tell you until I knew it was serious", Eric explained. "Oh , I'm so happy", my mother said, tears in her eyes. "Congrats!", Amber said. Eric turned to look at me, waiting for my response. I tried to get it together, but I just couldn't. "I", I mumbled, standing up. I ran through the door, opening the front door and walking out. I wasn't leaving, I just needed some fresh air.

I sat down, breathing heavily. So this was why Eric's calls became shorter and more spaced out lately. I really didn't want to be mad at him. I wanted to be happy, and I was happy for him. But he'd kept his girlfriend as a secret for me, ignoring me when I needed him the most, and then dropped an engagement bomb the one night I wanted to focus on me for once. I knew he had his reasons. The rational side of my brain had a perfectly good reason for every one of his actions. But I was damn tired of everyone defending Eric. 

"Are you okay?", Will asked. I turned around. He was standing in the doorway, doing that leaning on one arm thing that looked really hot. "I'm fine." Just as I said that, my eyes started watering. Will closed the door and sat down next to me. "It's okay", he said, patting my back as he hugged me. "I feel so ridiculous. I know I'm making a scene and being dramatic, and I really wanted tonight to be nice", I said. "Look, I don't know a lot about siblings and stuff, but I know that jut because what you're feeling is irrational, doesn't make it wrong", he comforted me. 

"Thanks", I murmured against his shoulder. Just then, the front door opened again. Eric was walking out, and to my relief my mother and Amber was not with him. "Brian, why are you acting like this?", he asked. "I'm sorry", I whispered. "I get that you are surprised, but we are guests! You're making a scene", he scolded me. I stood up to look him in the eyes, and Will followed. "Look, I'm sorry, okay", I yelled. Eric studied my face. "Are you crying?", he asked. I wiped my eyes. "Oh my God, you are such a baby", he groaned. 

"Hey!", Will stepped between us. "You have no idea why he's crying, so don't attack him", Will said. Eric looked surprised. He eyed Will up and down. "I think Brian and I need to talk, can you leave?", he asked. "I'm not leaving him alone with you", Will said, putting an arm around me defensively. "Look, I appreciate how much you care about him, but I'm his brother, and this is a family matter", Eric said in a cold voice. Will made no sign at moving. "Well, you're the one who made him cry", Will muttered. "I made you cry? Why are you crying now?", Eric irritably said.

I had been quiet for way to long. "Because you never call me! And because you never tell me anything about yourself anymore. And you're mom's favorite and I'll never measure up to you and also I am gay. And I was going to tell her tonight but you dropped your engagement bomb, outdoing me like you always do", I screamed at him. Eric gave me a tired look. "I just wanted to tell you about something nice, for once", he sighted. "I'm sorry I didn't tailor myself to your every need", he yelled. "I invited my mother to my boyfriends house, you fucking idiot. You invited yourself and stole all the attention, like you always do", I screamed at him. 

I knew I was being unfair. It was mom who talked about Eric. He was just trying to be nice. But I felt so much pain. I was so disappointed. Most of all at myself. I was acting like a child. Eric was getting real pissed now. "If you want to know the truth and reason for all of your accusations, call me. I am not spending my evening getting yelled at by you and your boyfriend", he said, in that calm and composed voice I despised. He opened the door and grabbed his jacket. Will and I could only stand there, watching as he walked away, calling a cab to pick him up.

Soon after, my mother and Amber walked out the door. "Are you okay? Where's Eric?", my mother asked. "Eric left", I said. My mom looked at me with a disapproving look. "I'm disappointed in you", was all she said, before putting on her jacket. "Thank you for the meal Mrs. Miller, it was delicious. I am sorry for my family's behavior",  she told Amber. "Let me drive you home", Amber offered. "If you insist", my mother answered, following Amber to the garage. 

"Mom!", I yelled. She turned around and looked at me. "I'm gay!", I yelled. She just looked at me and turned around, continuing to walk like she didn't hear anything. Will and I waited in complete quiet, watching our mom's drive away. When the car finally drove out of sight, I broke down. I sobbed my eyes out on Will's porch. He only hugged me. He didn't say anything. I don't think he knew what to say, neither of us did.






A/N: Shit really hit the fan with this one. 

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