Precious Star

Understand

"Good morning, Charles. How are you doing this lovely morning?" I cheered as he made his way into the kitchen groaning in response. His hair was a complete mess, his eyebags were evident and his posture was horrendous. "Here you go, drink up, eat this and then take these," I said, handing him a cup of orange juice, a plate with two avocado toast and eggs, along with some pills.

"What is this?" he asked taking in a mouth full of food as he pointed at the pills.

"Magnesium."

"What for?"

"Well, you drank pretty heavily last night."

"Don't let me do that ever again," he nodded his head disapprovingly. "Still doesn't explain the magnesium. I usually take Tylenol or Advil."

"You lose a lot of magnesium with heavy drinking, and losing a lot of magnesium can bring other problems. Problems which you don't need." Humming in response he continued eating his food as I began to clean up the kitchen. "I don't have any clothes of yours here in my house, but-"

"Our house," he corrected me, taking a sip of the orange juice.

"What?"

"Valentine, we went over this last night, it's our house," he explained pointing at the whole house. "I was the wasted one yet I still remember more than you."

"I didn't forget. I thought you forgot."

"Did you want me to forget?" Charles asked, looking hurt at my comment.

"No, no, no. Of course not. But most people can't remember anything when they are drunk. I can't remember anything when I'm drunk," I said as I made my way to the living room.

"I know you can't, but surprisingly I can, which I am quite grateful for," finishing off his food he took his plate to the sink and began to wash it. After he finished he came over and sat next to me, "I was thinking."

"That's never good."

Laughing at my response he suddenly became serious, "Have you visited Jules this year?" Looking through the window I remained quiet. "Valentine, have you visited him at all?" Shyly, I nodded my head no. Charles quickly made his way in front of me, kneeling down and taking my hands. "You've never visited him?"

"I can't," I whispered, defeated. " I can't bring myself to go visit him because that will mean he is gone forever," tears made their way into my eyes, so I quickly stopped talking because I knew the longer I talked the more likely I would be to cry everything out.

"Valentine, you have to let it out," Charles said, leaning my head up to stop the tears he gently grabbed my face making me look at him. "I am right here, it's okay."

With those simple six words, I let everything out, the tears quickly came down and I knew they wouldn't stop for a while. "He didn't want to race that day, the same way Papa didn't want to race the day he died. I told him that he would be fine. I told him to just race. It was all my fault. He wouldn't have died if it wasn't for me." Burying my face into my hands Charles got up from the floor, sat beside me, and brought me into his arms. "I shouldn't have forced him the same I did with Papa. They both raced that day because of me. They both should have been here. They died because of me!"

"Valentine," Charles whispered, as he caressed my head.

"It was true, Charles. Both of them didn't want to race. They had a bad feeling about the race, but I told them it was just nerves and that they would be fine. It is because of me that they were both gone. Papa could have been here training me and I could've been racing with Jules. You could've been racing with Jules. I'm so sorry I took him from you."

"Valentine Alaina Senna!" Charles spoke up, grabbing my face and forcing me to look at him. "You can not blame yourself. We put ourselves to risk when we go out on that track. Whether they wanted to or not they chose to do so. It is not your fault. It has never been your fault. Do you understand me?"

"I could've stopped them-"

"You couldn't have known, amour," [Love] he whispered as he wiped away my tears. Leaning my head on his right hand I continued to cry. I let out everything I had held for these past years. "I know, mon amour. Let it all out." [My love]

After some hours of crying Charles brought me to my bathroom, "Charles, I can walk."

"I know," he simply answered as he carried me bride-style into the restroom before sitting me down on the sink. "Okay, this is how we are going to do this. You are going to tell me exactly how you do your skincare and everything," he said as he began to wash his hands.

"Charles, I can do my own skincare," turning around I let out a yelp as I realized what I looked like. My nose, cheeks, and eyes were all red. My eyes were absolutely swollen, my hair was a mess and I looked extremely oily.

"What?! What's wrong?!" Charles asked as he tried to find what I was yelping at.

"You didn't tell me I looked like this!" I stated the obvious.

"Like what?" he asked, clearly not understanding what I meant.

"Charles. I look absolutely horrendous, let me do my thing," I tried to get off the counter but Charles was quick to place his hands on my thighs, keeping me in place.

"I don't think so. My hands are clean. Yours aren't."

Tilting my head, he mimicked my action in return. Rolling my eyes I leaned back and crossed my arms, "Start off by cleansing."