Jaana : The Girl He Loved Too Much

Chapter 39

Pacing breathlessly in the living room, Sitara was waiting for him to come back. Her breathing was erratic. What have I done? She was petrified at the thought of the consequences that were about to befall her.

She was worried sick as she searched the whole house but couldn't find Bahar. Hell, she even risked calling out for her. But she couldn't hear her back. She even checked the basement. Her heart sank at the thought of what would have happened to her. Did he kill her? Allah! No, he cannot kill her, he loves her kids, and he can't do that to the little ones. Does he think I talked to Bahar? No, he would think I always talk to Bahar after he forbade, no, no, no. He will kill her. How can I be so stupid, how can I let her fall in such danger? Already so many people have died because of me I can't live with the guilt of Bahar's murder on my conscience.  But when he caught the letter, why he haven't punished me? Why he said he need to post one letter. No! Will he hurt Nargis? Allah please save her. Please unhe meri galti ki saza meri Nargis ko na dene dein. Nargis ki ifazzat karna khuda. (Please don't let him punish Nargis for my mistake. Please protect her my Lord.)

She sat on the couch holding her chest, her heart was beating fast. She held in forehead in her palms. Why, why I had to do this? Why I wrote the letter? Why I had to ask Bahar to post it? I had controlled this urge for months why I had to be so weak now? Now, when I finally had peace. Why I ruined it? She cursed herself for being impatient enough.

Maybe if I would have asked him, he would have allowed me writing to her. Her mind went back on their conversation in the study. This is why he addressed me as Sitara. What was going on in his mind? He must be thinking I betrayed him. Allah. What will he do now? Please save him from his own anger.

Her heart sank thinking all the worse possibilities. She knows when it comes to her, his anger knows no bounds. And now it must have felt like a cheating. He even asked her upfront, giving her a chance to come clean and she denied saying she has nothing to hide, he must have felt how easily can she lie to him.

The thunder in the sky startled her. She reached the windows but the night was eerily silent except from the rumbling of lightening from time to time. The thunder reminded her of the first time they met, it seems like the same storm. She came towards the living room and sat on the couch dejected. Her sniffles were not stopping, her heart kept beating faster. The anticipation was killing her. The tremor in her hands was increasing with every passing second. 

The screeching tyres splashed the mud. "Come miss" said one of the gunman opening the door of the black shiny limo. "Where am I?" She asked the man holding the umbrella over her head checking the surroundings. The dark secluded worn out building amidst the barren lands doesn't make sense to her. Why has he called me here, thinking she moved forward. "You can go inside from this door, miss" said the man opening the door for her and closing the umbrella. "Thank you" she said softly as she entered the big metal doors. The building was made of brick with a tall roof, old-fashioned doors, and weathered paint. Looked like the building had witnessed quite a hurricane that left the building without repair. The floor was covered with dried leaves. She coughed as the cobweb came in her way while proceeding inside. "Ouch" she hit some furniture, and realized there are old table and chairs inverted.   What is this place? she thought as she wondered inside. "Khan Saheb?" she called for him. It was dark and spooky and she couldn't find the way ahead. "Khan Saheb, are you here?" she said again and with a thud the building brighten as the lights hanging from the high ceiling turned on one by one. She hid her face with her palm to avoid the direct lights. She inspected around, and it seem like there is a hallway where the lights were  going. She proceeded that way following the lights. With her every step the lights keeps on turning on, showing her the way. She entered a big hall, that was in contrast with the rest of the building. It wasn't worn out, the paint was not shabby or worn-out, instead it seems like this area is thoroughly cleaned. There were four steps to enter the hall, and she did. She saw two men with guns standing in the black uniforms like the ones who came with him to there house. The room was more of an office, the big wooden table was dominating the whole room. The pens and few folders were scattered on it, a half drank glass of whiskey was kept in the middle, the big winged leather chair was placed in the center. She looked at the man standing with his back towards her looking out the frosted glass window.