Royal's Deep Yearning

73

"Enough Raja saab, enough
I am tired of playing a villain/ in my own life."
Archana shouted using all her voice

"Not only you, Iam too suffering from six months rajasaab, not only you, I am too much patient with every one
What do you think? That only you are suffering, Iam too suffering, it's hurting me also. At the same place where it's hurting you, here. "
She pointed to her heart.

"You want reasons right, then listen, listen. "
She kept shouting like mad woman as the years cascading down her cheeks in pure frustration.

"Iam a eldest daughter Raja saab,
I need to validate my mother, support my father and take care of my whole family,i should be financially independent and settled before 25 because after that, this society didn't let me live in peace.
Everyone excepts something from me, my mom excepts me to be a perfect girl, my dad expects me to be an officer, you expects me to return your efforts, I have always been a giver,
Bitt, when the first time someone gave me something, it's making me feel different it didn't feel right, "

"I have to be prefect hiding my imperfections,something happened
Tell Archana, want something ask archana, iam their only support. They have high hopes from me, which are scaring me from deep down, whenever my dad says Iam proud of you, it doesn't exicts me anymore, instead it's scares me, when the thought of being failure crosses my mind. "

"It's normal Archana, everyone has responsibilities, you can't ignore your life about them. "
Archana chuckled at abhimaan's words.

"You won't get it Raja saab you know why? You are born with a diamond spoon, you got everything without any struggle, you never know the fear of failure, fear of not being able to support your family, the constant urge of settling as early as possible, not only you, any rich kid won't get it, "

"Everything is normal for you, not for me, you won't believe it but, I am the first girl in my whole family who reached up to graduation and I can't let this chance go from my hands"

"I have to be every thing, therapist to my parents, pioneer to my brother and I never felt stressed over it, Iam happy with my parents and our little word. All I did going to school, listening to classes, enjoying with my friends and gossips with my parents.
I was never stressed about my career or about the expectations they have on me, cause I know I would do everything to make them proud.
I was so happy, at peace until I came across you. At the age of 18 I became a married woman, that too without my consent, I wasn't able to take it, because, you were the first person who made me feel weak, made me feel so powerless, "

"It's easy for you, to marry a girl out of nowhere to love her, but not for me not when you threatened me into this marriage, You apologized but that doesn't change anything. And this
Holding her mangalsutra."

"Iam hiding this from months I don't know whether iam hiding it from my myself or from others, whenever my mom or dad video calls me iam scared of getting caught. Let marry on that side even holding someone's hands is big matter for me and you straightly married me without my consent.
That gave me all reasons to hate you and suddenly it changed my hate for you vanished and I started to admire you, who wouldn't be, you treats me so well, keeps me first always, care for me, understands me without saying anything, respects me moreover handles my moodswings my anger,
Any girl would be mad, if any man does this things for her and I too, without knowing, I fell for you,
Can you hear me? I fell for you "
She shouted.

"And that's where the problem started, "
"I started to think about you, even in my classes, started stalking you, started dreaming of you and worse, whenever I read any book, my mind started to imagine you as male character while I am the female character. You don't know how crazy I became, instead of writing prithvi raj chauhan to the Ajmer king, "
"I wrote abhimaan ranawat chauhan in my test as I was thinking about you that time. Ever day, every minute I started thinking about you, your absence started affecting me, "
"Everything was going smoothly, I was happy with you, with my life going until reality hit me hard, when I realised for what actually I I came here. Everything became side track and you became the main part in my life. "
She was saying in flow, that abhimaan didn't even want to interrup in middle he kept listening to her as it's giving him a clarity about her feelings.

"I never know, I have so many responsibilities and pressure on me until, I met you, I never hide anything from my parents but, now iam not telling them anything, feeding them lies, whenever they ask me about my future plans, we ended up arguing, you know why, My heart saying something and my mind saying something, iam too confused, don't know what to do, I stood between you and my parents, nor I can disappoint them neither I want to leave you.
I cried so much, not understanding what to do, I have no one to share, when I told my best freind every thing, you know what she said, that Iam overlooking this issue, just choose my heart, "
"It's easy to say but, to do, if I choose, I have to leave my family, my place and everything related to my world".

"Why didn't you say anything to me earlier? Why didn't you tell me anything? "
Abhimaan took her hands into his.

"You never asked me",
A cry released from her mouth.

"You never asked me what's going in my heart, nor you tried to ask, how can I told you, whenever we talked we ended up arguing. "
"No one ever asked me, nor you nor any, everyone rubbed their decisions on me, to hide all those emotions I choose anger,'
"I CHOOSE ANGER, to potray myself as a strong one but, that facade also shattered few day ago, do you want that reason also.. I will... Wi.. Ll I will tell you that, "
That's it Archana couldn't control herself broke out, hiccuping.

Abhimaan just couldn't see her in this state, she didn't have any control on her emotions anymore he pulled her near, still holding her hands

"Few days back my mumma called me, and she gave me shock of century, you know what she said, she that, my engagement was fixed after diwali, he is my relatives, cross cousin,
Abhimaan's eyes darkened and his hold on her hands tightened
But it's not decided, it's decided long again soon after my birth, growing up I never took it seriously, as I was never interested In those matters but now, how to tell my mum, that Iam already married, no one ever asked my consent, not even my dad, what too do? It's my fault, that I never refused but, I never agreed either.
No one ever asked me what I want, you too, you married me without my consent and now they are trying to do the same. "

"What do you want little one? "
Abhimaan wiped her face with his palms. She just nodded in no holding onto his head pressing them to her cheeks.

"I want to tell you another thing"
"I used to shout at you all the time, you know why? Do you know why? "
Abhimaan nodded in no.

"Because, iam scared, I scared of myself, kahi aapse pyaar na hojaye.
But, no use, I fell for you anyway, you want to hear that right, so, listen
Listen to me Raja saab, I love you"

"I love you so much,my feelings were never fake, My care for you was never fake even when I hated you, you were my first kiss, my first hug, I think that's enough for you guess my depth of feelings, I may never show it but, I love you".
Her crying voice felt as a sweet music for abhimaan for a second.

"Then why are you making it complicated for us, Archana you love me, I love you, then why? If those are the ones, stopping you, I will take care of them, you family and that useless groom, I will take care of every thing, everyone you don't need to be worry.
Archana just shook her head, pressing her head to him.

"I would take care if they are the only problems here, do you think, I will leave my love for responsibilities and out of pressure, the real problem is me, Iam the biggest complication here, iam the villian between us.
Iam the villain here, I am the problem."
She wetted his shirt wrapping her hands around his waist.

And here the most awaited
Her confession, with little drama,
But, it's okay, all while she kept everything to herself so, she deserves a little burst out, I know we all are team abhimaan, but we can't ignore Archana's pain,
Somewhere, every girl relates what Archana going through.
Dealing everything by herself, Struggling with her mental peace,
Some words about Archana?
About abhimaan?

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