There was always you

20 | It should've been me

Rhys Hawking

It had been six days since I last saw her. Not a word or even a call since. The morning after Christmas Day she kissed me goodbye and went home. Afterward, I hadn't even heard from her.

I wondered what I'd done, what if my father urged her away? I didn't text or call her in case she wanted her space. But it's been driving me crazy, I missed her after a mere few days.

I don't know how I could live my life without this woman or how I'd done it for years. I was attached to her, she was my source of light in a darkening world. But now it's been radio silence. Tonight was New Year's Eve and spending it without her didn't feel right.

I last texted her Wednesday the morning of the 27th and no reply. Today as I walked Fifth Ave and saw someone who I thought was her. I knew I'd lost my mind and now I found myself walking to her apartment.

I craved to just be in her presence, to see her face even if it lacked a smile. I wanted to know what was wrong, what I'd done. How to fix it? I was in a sea of confusion and mixed emotions.

Because I'd go to the ends of the earth for Adira Bowen, over a cliff, and into fire. I'd burn for the woman if I had to, she could take my heart and stake it for all I care. She was the only one in my world, she was the sun and I simply was lucky to orbit around her.

I felt dramatic for thinking this way, it's been almost a week. But not even a text and ignored calls, it was a red flag. I knew I needed to check in, to see what the situation was.

As I knocked on the door of her apartment with no answer, I pounded against it again. I waited patiently as my anxiety grew, I knew I should've accepted the key when she offered. But finally, as I began to knock again, the lock clicked and the door swung open.

"Jesus have you ever thought if someone doesn't answer maybe it's because they are sleeping!" Cat stood with a sleep mask resting above her eyes half awake.

"It's noon?" She rolled her eyes and shuffled inside the apartment, "Is Adira okay? She hasn't talked to me in days?" A confused look sheds over her face and she steps away from me and peeks open the door to her room.

A cough could be heard followed by a groan, "Get out Cat!" I hear her strained voice and she turns back to me, "The viper has laryngitis and has been a menace all week" She whispers.

Then I get it, Adira hates being sick. She'd rather hide all day and be alone to sulk, she's also incredibly moody. When I'd take care of her a lot in college she'd get frustrated that I'd risk my own health. But I didn't care.

I push open the door to see her curled up in bed with a both of tissues and a pale complexion, "So this is why you've gone radio silent?" She looked over at me a pout formed against her lips.

"No, no stay away" She groaned, "Get out I'm sick you ass hat, I have laryngitis. I'll get you sick, don't be an idiot!" I stood in her doorway as she clutched her pillow tight shaking her head. She sneezes and sniffles with a sigh.

"Adira please-"

"Get out, you're annoying me!" Then I remembered, she gets angry when she's sick. Usually, one would be hurt, but find myself laughing. She hates being sick especially when it means missing out.

"Now this is no way to celebrate New Year's?" She buried her face into the pillow shaking her head.

"I obviously cannot go out" Her sinuses are congested as she speaks and she lays back fully frustrated, "I hate being sick!" She groans as tears slowly leak from her eyes and I kick off my shoes and remove my coat.