There was always you

27 | Most definitely the one

ᴍᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ
Adira Bowen

A date was set and save the dates were out in the mail. The venue of a villa in Monaco and one too many sparklers to count. I wanted desperately to marry Rhys, but as August loomed in quick and my wedding just two months away. It didn't quite feel right.

Things were different in ways since the fire, Rhys was more protective than ever. Someone personally brought me to and from places and security would have to check rooms before I even entered that were outside our home.

I was anxious, it felt so fast but yet not quick enough. It was almost a year ago since we went on the trip and escaped it all. Where he told me how he felt and my heart leapt from my chest afraid of feelings.

But I couldn't deny how I felt in this dress. I wasn't trapped or chained down. For the first time in a dress I was free and happy. I could picture myself in it, just with me and Rhys. No location or mass amount of people, just us.

I never wanted a big wedding, I never even planned the first one. But I wouldn't be the one to rob Rhys of it, it didn't seem fair. My stress recently had been taking a toll on me, but it wasn't a conversation I was ready to broach.

My heart felt heavy in a way. I was ready to commit my life to him, to move to Greece with him. But yet I wanted to do it in the smallest of ways.

"That's most definitely the one" I startle at the sound of someone's voice and Porters fiancé Lydia stood staring at my wedding saree.

"I think it is" I glance back at it in the mirror. I didn't want my mother's opinions, Cat and Serena's fights or Jennie to say yes to everything. I wanted Lydia's opinion, she was always open and honest with me. She had good taste and something that never lacked. Her wedding gown was made for her, and I wanted her to confirm mine was made for me.

"You don't even need to second guess, I'm already in tears" She stepped beside me and wiped her watering eyes, "I feel like an emotional mother right now" I couldn't help but laugh, I loved Lydia. She was sensible when it came down to the hard parts or even the easy ones.

"Now it needs a veil" She left me standing alone in the room for a second, surrounded by mirrors. Imagines of myself on display around the room, hundreds of me but only one of my true self in thought.

She walks back in breaking my state of overwhelmth. She places the veil on, and it comes together, the tenseness in my shoulders release. For the first time in my life, I can picture myself as a bride. Something I'd lacked for a long time, a feeling I never thought I'd gain.

"Adira, if you weren't betrothed to my brother in law. I might've just taken a stab at you myself, because you aren't just a snack. You are a full course meal" I roll my eyes at her, precious Lydia. I knew she was who I needed for this moment. One that would offend my mother and upset my friends.

But a decision that would leave me content and a valuable source of truth beside me. I was excited for a day that was upcoming. But nerves filled me, the what ifs, what could go wrong. The part where everything would fall apart, it alarmed me.

But my social anxiety was overbearing, standing in front of hundreds of people at a dinner made me want to die. How I'd handle an extravagant wedding introducing me into a whole new life. It terrified me, but the only thing, the only person that mattered was him, was Rhys.