What If We Had It All

Big Day I

"The Big Day"

Part I

|21|

Kalíanna

I have been anticipating this day for a while and now that's it's here I'm not sure how to feel. Am I nervous? Definetly. My excitement was similar to that of a kid in a candy store. Such a wholesome feeling.

I felt liberated

The only thing I was worried about right now is the proceedings of my party.

Too much thought has been put into this event for it to be anything less of a success. Most importantly, I want it to be an experience for everyone who will be there tonight. I want it to be one of those nights you can recall with a smile on your face.

A vivid memory rooted in your mind forever.

I took in a sharp breath as my stylist drew the strings of my corset bodysuit even tighter, she doesn't intend for me to breath tonight. But I was too sexy to care. I liked the fact that just the right amount of cleavage was exposed, not too much but not too little either.

I admired myself in the mirror in awe with the outcome of my outfit tonight.

It's everything I imagined and more.

From the deep red body suit corset that is adorned with skeleton bones with hands placed meticulously over my boobs. To the fishnet stockings that cling to my skin in a sultry manner. A puffy tutu is then put over it, that is a bit torn to give a slight disheveled look but it doesn't take away from the design of the skirt. My heels are simple red bottoms that bring the look together and my favorite part of my look is the dark crown.

My look for my entrance is pretty to look at but I won't be able to party like this for long, so through the duration of the night, my tutu and heels will eventually be discarded.

My ringtone blares interrupting my chain of thought. My stylist took it up from the near by table, passing it to me. "It's your mother." I smiled at her, whispering a small 'thank you'. I was truly greatful for everything she has done to help me to prepare for tonight.

I raise the phone to my ear, bracing myself for the conversation.

"Hello, Kalíanna. Happy birthday, I'm truly sorry we couldn't make it tonight. You have to understand, we really wanted to be there."

I don't know what made me more sick, the little effort put into making a plausible excuse or the lack of enthusiasm in her voice.

I don't say what's on my mind.

"Thank you, Mom." I forced out.

"I'll send some money to your account, I have some work to get back to. Talk later?"

I shake my head to myself.

Even though, I've grown used to being disappointed.

A brief feeling of hurt overcomes me.

"Yeah, sure. . .talk later."

With that she ends the call.

I have never been important enough to my parents, even after 18 years of life.

But you can't force anyone to care, I've learnt that much.

Of course, it hurts to know that the very people that are responsible for you existence doesn't make an effort to be there for you. But after so many years of their absence, you find comfort in being there for yourself becuase if you don't, no one else will.