I'm Not Her

Chapter 19: I'm Not Sure Where She Is

Chapter 19:  

Danielle and I spent three hours arguing over the fact that I wanted to leave England and start fresh in America.  

But finally, Danielle gave up on me and let me pack my stuff to leave. She even offered to drive me back to South Shields, telling me that it was the least she could do for dragging me out to London.  

I had told her about what Zayn had said to me and I have never seen a woman angrier than she. Danielle looked like she would rip someone's head off.  

So I was at home, packing my things into cardboard boxes. I had explained my reasons to my parents, and they seemed understanding. They were sad, however, that their last child was leaving them by themselves. Perrie had driven back to South Shields and despite our differences, she agreed to help me get settled in America. I would pay her back one day, after I got a decent job and all.  

Perrie was my sister and I didn't expect her do this at all, but she hooked me up to an acting agent since she remembered me saying that being an actress was an occupation I would want. She even commented that I pulled being her off well enough to become a pretty good actress.  

"But c'mon Pen? America? Why don't you just stay in England?" Perrie asked. She was helping me pack, but like Danielle, she didn't want me to leave. I hadn't told her that I told Zayn, but she'd figure it out soon but I would be long gone by then.  

"America seems better. Plus, I've always wanted some sun," I replied. I tucked a dress neatly away in the box and closed it, sealing it up with clear tape. I took a thick black sharpie out and wrote "dresses" on it.  

"You'll be missing the snow in Los Angeles," Perrie pointed out. I saw her objective. She was trying to sneakily persuade me that staying in England was the better choice. I wasn't falling for it though. As much as she tried, I wasn't going to fall for it.  

"That's what Christmas vacations are for," I smirked, "the ones that you skip sometimes to fly out to Timbuktu." 

"I didn't go to Timbuktu! I went to Machu Pichu that year I skipped Christmas," Perrie corrected as she sealed off a box and shoved it towards the growing pile.  

"Don't forget to label," I shoved it back towards her. Perrie scowled and wrote "books" on it messily. She never really understood my need for everything to be neat. 

"Mum and Dad are devestated..." Perrie tried once more, "You're all they have left you know. Imagine their only child left leaving..."

"Perrie," I warned, "stop trying to make me feel bad. I know what I want to do. I'm going to America. I'm going to live there. I'm going to forget about my boring life here. Can't you see? I'm not made to live in England. I don't fit."

"You fit as my twin sister..."

"Stop trying to make me feel bad!" I groaned.

"Why?" Perrie asked. She cocked an eyebrow towards me and smirked. "Is it working? It's working isn't it?"

"No!" I protested, "I'm going."

"Well you could at least say thank you to your awesome sister who's arranged for you to move there. I got you an agent as well. When you're famous and on movie screens, I hope you mention that it was your fabulous twin sister that helped you get there," Perrie grinned. 

"Will do," I replied with a smile, "we can be famous together. Just like your dream when we were...what? Seven?" 

"I never thought it'd happen. I thought I'd grow old and be a janitor for the rest of my miserable life. But I'm in a freaking girl band now and am currently single!" Perrie said.