I'm Not Her

Chapter 23: I'm Not Dreaming Right?

Chapter 23:

He stroked my face, caressing it looked deeply into my eyes like never before. His mouth was slightly parted and I felt my body shiver. The things Zayn did to me. I hated it, but it was such an exhilarating feeling.

"Zayn," I murmured.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "for what I did. I was so stupid a-and careless. I was so so stupid for letting you go Penelope."

"Don't say that," I said and raised my hand up to touch his cheek, "I was part the blame as well."

"God Pen, you didn't do anything wrong. I shouldn't have yelled at you and I shouldn't have been so stubborn."

"I'm just- I feel so guilty for lying and you were so mad. It was like I was breaking. And then I moved away and I thought all my problems would be fixed, but then you appeared again and I- I didn't know how to deal with you..."

"Seeing you again, it made me realize how stupid I was to let you go. Now you're in Los Angeles and you've got yourself a job. There's no way you'd come back to England with me..."

"Zayn-"

"But you're too perfect to let go of. And I don't know what to do!"

I stared at his face, sad and broken. His eyes were sad and his hair was ruffled in a sexy kind of way. His hands were in his jean pockets and his t-shirt was fitted against his sculpted body, like some sort of Greek god.

"Just kiss me!" I blurted. I was so surprised...being so forward. That wasn't me. That was nothing like me. I wasn't that type of girl. Where was all this confidense coming from? 

"I can't," Zayn sighed.

"Why not?"

"Because you're dreaming."

"No I'm not."

"Yeah, you are. Penelope, do you honestly think that after all the lies you've told me that I'd forgive you instantly like that? And kiss you? And want to move to Los Angeles with you even if I have a perfectly good job that requires me in England? Penelope, you're dreaming. Wake up."

"What are you talking about?" I whimpered. "I am not dreaming. Please, this is not a dream. God, please no."

"I'm sorry Pen. But you've got to wake up."

"But-"

Then there was a bright light and my eyes watered at the sight.

It really was just a dream...

I suddenly sat straight up, my back aching and my eyes watering from the sunlight streaming through the bedroom's window.

Bedroom.

I didn't recall ever going back home last night after watching Toy Story with Liam and the others. Everyone had fallen asleep and- I had fallen asleep as well. So my question now was, where was I? I glanced around, at the thin curtains and the luggage sprawled on the ground with various articles of clothing peeking out. I was in a hotel room. And after spotting many hair styling utilities, I knew what room I was in.

I looked around the bed I was in- wait...When did I ever get in this bed? The memories of last night were slightly blurry. Did I drink? 

The sheets were tousled and my hair was in an absolute mess. Then I noticed something else that was surprising- I wasn't in the dress that I had worn last night. No- instead I was clad in a large t-shirt that smelled like Zayn's. My bra and panties were still on- thank god.

But yet another question arose? If I was in Zayn's bed, where was Zayn? Had he fallen asleep with me or had he-

No, we couln't have done that right. I didn't recall consuming any alcohol last night and- No I couldn't have. Even drunk, I couldn't be that stupid. I wasn't some sort of play thing or a slut. No, no, no... I refused to believe it.