I'm Not Her

Chapter 36: I'm Not Calm

Thank you for all your kind words from the last chapter. I read them all. I swear it!

Chapter 36: 

Once upon a time, way back when I was a lonely and weird teenager, I dreamt of what it would be like to have not one, but two guys liking me. Yes, I was one of those people who daydreamed about  these kinds of things. Back then, I didn't even attract guys so you could see why all I did was daydream about guys. Now, as I was currently stuck in this situation, I knew that having two guys liking you was a lot more complicated than it sounded. 

One was dating me, waiting for me to come back to America. I bet right now he was just lounging in his apartment, watching some old movies from the 80s like we always did. He always loved those movies. It was his inspiration to act.

The other confessed his love to me by screaming off a hotel balcony. Thank you Zayn for that unwanted attention. That was very much not needed.

Confusion didn't cover the feelings that I felt right now. Actually the confusion was giving me a headache that was very much unwanted.

"Z-Zayn," I stuttered, "we should probably step inside. I...It's London, I swear if there's paparazzi outside...We should carry on inside." I didn't even know if there was paparazzi but those people were literally everywhere. They were at every corner, ever alley, and every single place you were.

He only nodded, with a small frown. We stepped inside, and I shut the balcony doors behind me. I pulled the curtains together, to make sure that no one could see inside. Paparazzi and their high-tech cameras these days. They could probably zoom in on us from freaking Australia. I hate technology...

Well kind of. I was just a little too attached to my phone...and my laptop...and my TV...and cameras are pretty cool too...

"I..." I started, but paused because honestly, I had no idea what I was supposed to say. He confessed his love to me to all of London, off of a hotel balcony. What girl can say that the same scenario has actually happened to her? I'd say very few. So what was I supposed to say? What was the answer he wanted to hear? I had no reaction to what he just did. Well of course I had a reaction, but none I could express in words. But you see, if I did express it in words, it would come out pretty stupid. That was the joy about acting. I have a script. "You...you could've just whispered it. I mean you didn't have to scream it off a balcony. What if someone heard you?"

"Well," Zayn shrugged, "I could care less if someone heard me because I'm speaking the truth. Alright? I don't care what anyone has to say about it. I really don't." Was he serious? 

"Well guess what?" I yelled. "I care okay? I care. Do you know how bad it's going to get if someone heard that? Not only will it ruin my sister's reputation, or mine. It'll ruin yours. You have all eyes on you, Zayn. Do you know how bad it'll look if you start dating your ex's sister. Your ex's identical, twin sister? Get this through your head. It won't turn out the way you want it too. It won't be pretty."

"Pen, it's not going to look bad. It-"

"It'll seem like I'm just your second choice. It'll be like I'm just a replacement for my sister...because I kind of am. But it'll look bad for you because who dates their ex's sister? No one. Sister is bad enough, but twin makes it worse. I will not and I refuse to be the cause of your downfall," I said. My voice got increasingly higher with each word I said. And with each word, I took a small step forwards towards him until he was pressed against the wall. 

Who knew I could be so intimidating? 

Just kidding. I'm as intimidating as a little Yorkie puppy barking and growling at a husky.