Let Yourself Fall (Liam Payne)

Chapter 40 ~ Liam

Chapter 40 ~ Liam

The tour is over and I still don’t know Darcy’s decision. I know I will see her again, but she will be here for what? Three days? A week? And after that she will go back and maybe, only maybe, I’ll see her again next year. How am I supposed to deal with that? When every day that goes by I miss her even more, when I can’t feel whole unless she is with me?

Despite that we have three weeks break, I’ve been so grumpy that even my family can’t stand to be near me. My sisters have already commented how awful I’ve been acting and that I need to cool down a notch, but they don’t understand. I barely see my family, but I always know they are home for when I come back, but Darcy… she is not home, she is so far away and even if I want to see her, I can’t just take a plane and visit her like I can do with my family. What stands between us is bigger than any other barrier I’ve had to face in my life.

Mum also has noticed it my bad mood and has tried to talk to me.

“And she hasn’t told you her decision yet?” She asks me when I tell her that not knowing whether Darcy will stay in Chile or come back is killing me. I shake my head and she looks at me sympathetically.

“I know it’s hard, but if I were in her position, I would pick my dreams,” I tell her and she smiles, though I don’t see the funny side.

“That’s because you are more ambitious, Liam. You’ve always known what you want and you never give up on that, but she has always put aside what she wants for the sake of others. This would be the first time she does something because she really wants it, even if it means it may hurt someone she loves. This is new for her and it’s the hardest it could have been.” I look at Mum, trying to understand and calm down.

I know this is hard for Darcy, but I wish she could at least tell me once and for all what she will do. I really want her to choose what she wants to do, not what it’s best only for Lizzie. I adore Lizzie and I know she is the most important person for Darcy, but for me… for me Darcy is the most important person and I want her to be happy. I can’t stand the thought that she is being miserable in Chile.

“I miss her, Mum. I miss her so much.” I look down, feeling so empty in that moment.

“I know you do, sweetie, but you have to be patient and give her time. This is the hardest thing in her life and she needs you right now as she was for you when you collapsed. Remember?” I nod, thinking of that time, when she was with me all the time, even when her mum was about to leave the country again. “That’s a relationship, Liam. Not only being there in the good times, but also in the bad ones. It’s not always nice, sometimes it seems impossible… but when you can make it through you know what you have is real.”

I think of her words. I know what Darcy and I have is real, I know I love her and I know she loves me, therefore we can make it through. It’s just that… it seems so hard right now, it’s like I look beyond what we’re standing now and I can’t see anything, everything is black.

“Don’t worry, Liam. When she gets here I’m sure you will talk about this and maybe you can help her to make a decision. Everything will be fine, honey.”

She is my mum, she has always said the truth. If she says it’s going to be fine, she must be right. Mums never get it wrong, right? It’s almost like magic, they are always right.

“Thanks, Mum,” I tell her, glad she could, at least, hear me out as I ranted about this. She hugs me and pecks my cheek like she did when I was a kid.

It’s good to be home.

* * *

“C’mon, let’s go, Liam! You got here a week ago and we haven’t gone out in all that time! And I haven’t seen you in months. C’mon, you need some fresh air,” Andy insists that night and he’s been insisting for a while already.