Hear me Roar - English version

CHAPTER 38 - "Don't say anything."

               Several months have passed since that day, in the Throne Room. This discussion between Varys and Baelish persuaded me not to ask any of them for help. I collected the necessary information from Maester Pycelle and from old books found in his personal library.

               I was inspired by Tyanna of the Tower and the poison she gave to the wives of King Maegor. I could not find all the ingredients, but the potion still worked. I didn't want you to see this scene. I didn't have to go through that.

               Nobody knows yet. It turned out that being pregnant made me valuable. The proof is that Cersei hasn't tried to kill me since I was pregnant, so I prefer to keep it a secret. At least until it's all over.

♐︎

               Sansa and Tyrion are getting married today. I'm not happy about that, but I got used to it. The Lannister is a good catch. He will take care of her and protect her. It is better that she is safe for the future.

              Sitting in front of my mirror, I can't get my eyes off this ridiculous dress. I wanted to wear a northern dress to remind Sansa of our home. Instead, I feel like Cersei's brown-haired copy.

               The door of my room opens, revealing a crying Sansa. She looks great in her wedding dress; I should congratulate her. But seeing my sister like that doesn't help me stay calm. I can already feel the wind beating in my hair, bringing me back to the battlefield. I'm afraid if I let my emotions take over, this day turns into a bloodbath.

               I take the young woman in my arms, to ink me in reality.

"I promise you everything will be fine."

"It's unfair" she articulates between two sobs.

"I agree with you, dear sister. But we don't have control over what will happen."

"I don't want to marry him..."

               I realize now that I've been selfish. For weeks I have not spoken to Tyrion to protect me, so that my heart stops clinging to the mere mention of his name. Maybe, like my sister, he too needed a shoulder to cry on.

"You are so young..." I say gently. "You have everything to discover, everything to see. Your life does not end now, it begins. Tyrion will take care of you, he will take you to the most beautiful places in the kingdom, will read to you on hot summer afternoons. He will give you children that you will love more than your own life."

               At the evocation of these future children, Sansa's tears redouble in intensity. So, I drive her to my bed and take her hands in mine.

"Don't be afraid. I know you're not afraid of pain, you've known enough to tame it. You're in the hands of the sweetest man in Westeros."

               My sister looks up at me. Her tears have stopped, she looks me in the eye, as if she could read something in it.

"Do you love him...?"

               Here we are. My heart is falling back. I can't lie to her any longer.

"I think I loved it from the first second that night in Winterfell. I was dancing and I fell. Tyrion helped me get up and I thanked him by calling him "Lord Lannister." He laughed and called me "Lady Stark" in return. It was silly, of course, but we still call ourselves that."

"Why didn't you marry him?"

"Because I was promised to Joffrey and between all the times that he exasperated me, he touched me. Then Tyrion left for the Wall, we left for the Capital. And I didn't see him again until he returned a year later from his father's camp. From where he came back with a woman he said he loved."