Regret Rejecting Me Alpha

My deepest secrets

this chapter is dedicated to jose for being the one to always support me

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tomorrow is my birthday and im sitting in my office doing alpha stuff and trying to find clues about the rogues instead of going out and enjoying myself with adam and the guys.

im scared of what's coming next, they have an alpha witch on their side, while we got nothing but a single white wolf, a white wolf is nothing compared to a witch. im scared of what's gonna happen. i lost alot in my life, and im not planning on losing more. im scared that if there will be a war, i might lose adam, or uncle logan or lucy,dylan and victoria.

losing mom and dad was already enough, it broke me , but i had to conceal it. if i lose any of my family and friends i wont forgive myself.

"davina you cant do this to yourself, go eat something then go out. you're not a full alpha yet so get out of my office" uncle logan said playfully. i cant believe this man is considered mature. he's like a teenager. all he does is jokes around and makes banters, but once there is something that has to do with his pack, he goes all alpha mode , and trust me, you dont wanna mess with him when he's in alpha mode.

i kissed his cheek then went to my room. i took a long, needed shower then went to my walk-in closet. i picked skinny jeans and a blue top matched with my blue converse. i blow dried my hair then pulled it into a high pony tail. i walked to the kitchen and when i entered i saw it. dylan and victoria making out and to say it was getting heated was an understatement.

"ewwww dude get a room" i shouted covering my eyes like a kid would do.

they pulled away like the other was on fire. victoria was blushing furiously and dylan looked away.

i turned around to leave shaking my head. dylan spoke and i froze. "sorry alpha" . alpha ? since when does he call me alpha

"alpha? dylan why did you call me alpha, you never called me alpha before, like never." i said

"davina, you used your alpha tone on me" he said looking disappointed.

what? that so not like me.

"i didnt use my alpha tone, dylan im not a full alpha, i dont have a very powerful alpha vioce. my vioce may make a normal  pack member submit but definetely not on a beta." i said.

"now that i think about it, its true. im sorry davina, but how come my wolf submitted? " he asked.

"i dont know but that's a thing for another time to find out. its probably nothing, maybe im too powerful " i smirked and he smacked my sholder.

i laughed and left the kitchen. after that sight, i dont think i can eat today.

i decided to walk in the woods, not run, not in wolf form, just me all by myself. 

i walked for about 15 minutes until i came to the place where elders live . they dont live in the pack house because they want to stay in a relaxing and quite place, away from , and i quote ' disturbing hermonal teenagers'.

i saw elder Allura. she's a very kind lady and she's so lovely. she was a white wolf aswell, but her powers arent as strong as they were because due to getting old, it was very hard for elders to shift, but they can still contact their wolf. her powers are so amazing, they are seeing through people's masks. its pretty awsome, i mean how cool is to see the who a person really is.

when she saw me , she smiled warmly at me. i appoached her and sat on the chair across from her.

"hello elder Allura." i said politely.

"hello dear davina" she said smiling.

suddenly she frowned. "you're afraid of something, upset, and ... pained" she said.

" i acually am .i-i" i couldn't explain it.

she looked into my eyes, her green ones boring into mine

"your wolf's eyes are seemingly the most peaceful looking eyes but behind them lies, great pain. you have experienced ordeals that you have kept hidden and secrets almost forever. davina, the pain is what makes your eyes blue." she said and i sat there shocked. i didnt want anyone to know about it , no one knows about it except for dad, lucy and dylan.

"what are you hiding davina?" she asked

"i - i ... i cant say. " i said looking at the ground.

" you forced your first shift didnt you?" she asked

i hesitated before answering but eventually i nodded.

"davina you can tell me anything, you know i will keep it a secret." she said  looking into my eyes as she held both my hands in hers.

"its my mom. when i was 13 years old , there was a rogue attack, and since my mom was luna she fought. in the middle of the attack , the rogues surrounded her and kidnapped her. we never knew where she was or if she was dead or alive but it was not easy at all. my dad had to stay strong for the pack but me? i cried day and night nonstop. it was very hard for me ,very very hard. when she was kidnapped i didnt do anything , i just stood by the window, crying as i watched them take her away. i couldnt do anthing except watch. do you know why i didnt go out there and help her? because i was weak. i kept saying 'im weak' for weeks until i forced my shift. i was supposted to shift at the age of 14 but instead i shifted at 13. " i wiped my tears before continuing

"when skylar came, she changed my life for the better. she told me that it wasn't my fault, she told mr that i was indeed strong. she made me stronger. i proved to everyone that im worth it, i passed every alpha and reached the top. i proved to my mom that i was strong, and i swore that i will find her. although all of our old pack lost hope, i still had it inside of me. although they made her a grave, i knew deep inside that i will see her again." she pulled me into a hug and i sobbed into her chest.

"how do you know she's alive?" she asked after pulling my face away soo i can look into her eyes.

"i still feel her. our bond didnt break. im the only one to feel it, because a parent's bond with their child is stronger than any bond. "