When I Was Fifteen

Chapter 25- No Thanks

The next few days are so fast as they go by and they're very laid back. I spend a lot of time with Cora and James, a little time with Thalia, I mean Tay. I can never remember her nickname.  I don't spend much with Kyle though. He hasn't been ignoring me, but he's just been kind of reserved. I didn't think of it as a big deal, so I've been ignoring it.

Today is Valentine's Day. When I woke up, it just seemed like a normal Friday, except we didn't have school because it's a snow day which thank God for those. I got up, ate breakfast, and then snuggled up on the couch in a pile of fuzzy blankets while watching The Hunger Games.

About halfway through the movie, I fell asleep. Probably about two hours later, I woke up to the sound of a knock at the door. I turned off my TV and got off the couch. For some reason, I thought it was smart to wear spandex and a T shirt, so I wrapped a blanket around my body.  I open the door to see a guy about forty years old. He has a big smile on his face and is holding a big, red, heart box.

"I'm your singing telegram and I'm here from the one who loves you. He loves you. He loves you. He wants to see you tonight, tomorrow, and forever. He loves you, he loves you, and only you," the guy sings. His voice isn't bad but the whole thing is very cheesy. He keeps singing for another minute, then he hands me the box, and walks away. I open it up to see a ton of little Bath and Body Works hand sanitizers. There has to be at least thirty or forty in here. I sit in my living room and start going through them, smelling each and every one of them. At the bottom, there's a note.

I know chocolates are a bit basic, so I thought you'd like these. You always seem to have a different one when we're together. I'm coming to pick you up at 4, be ready
-your love

I smile at the thought of James really thinking about me like this. Yes it was all a bit silly, but it was so cute and it just warmed my heart.

I went upstairs, took a shower, shaved, curled my hair that a couple days ago I decided to dye dark brown, plucked my eyebrows that I now have to fill in with a darker color because I dyed my hair, did my makeup, and basically just everything you need to do before a date. Then, it was 4 pm. I sat on the couch in a dark blue, floral dress with a fuzzy, black sweater over top. Also, I have on short, black boots. I scroll through Instagram as I wait for the doorbell to ring, and after about fifteen minutes of waiting it finally does.

"Close your eyes," someone says, and I immediately do. I don't recognize the voice, but it could just be James messing with me. I walk slowly until I'm told to bend my knees. As I slowly bend my knees they start to push me a bit, and then I fall onto a leather seat. It feels nice and warm.

"Open your eyes," the voice says again, and as I open them, I don't see James in front of me,

I see Kyle. He has a rose in his hand and is dressed in a black and white tuxedo. 

"What are you doing?" I scream as I try to open the door but it's locked. I shake the handle, trying to somehow magically make it open.

"Happy valentine's day," he says in a soft voice, and it sounds like he's about to cry.

"I have a boyfriend!" I yell, and I figure out how to unlock the door, then I run inside. What is wrong with him? We've barely talked in the last few days, and now all of a sudden he's trying to act like we're dating? No thanks.

I run upstairs into the bathroom, start up the bath, and rip off my shoes. As I look out the window, I see the car driving away. I take off my socks and my sweater and then just sit on the bathroom floor. As I take out my phone, it starts buzzing.

James<3- hey, what's up? I was planning on swinging by at about 6, can't wait to see you

I almost forgot about James. I didn't even think about the fact that James didn't do much for me today, maybe he'll surprise me at 6 with something. God, why do I sound so bratty? Why do I keep making it seem like James owes me something...

That's when it hits me. I haven't even forgiven James for everything in the past. I'm not at all ready to move on from it, no matter how long we were apart. I don't forgive him for not being able to handle the age difference. I don't forgive him for scaring me in the car. I don't forgive him for faking cheating on me. I don't forgive him for leaving me in the dust for months. 

My phone buzzes again, disrupting my thoughts. 

James<3- hello?

me- Um, actually, I'm kind of having a rough day and want to be alone. Sorry.

James<3- babe, it's Valentines Day. I'm going to come over and make you dinner then we can talk about it, okay?

me- I don't want you to come over

James<3- why not?

me- because I want to be alone, why is that too much to ask?

James<3- I'm just trying to help

me- well I don't want your help

James<3- fine, have a good night

I don't reply after that. Why can't I just be honest with him instead of acting awful towards him? Yes I'm mad at him but it seems like he's trying to fix things. 

Why can't things just be simple and easy for once?