When I Was Fifteen

Chapter 37- As Long As You're There

Around 4, I start getting ready for my date with James. He's picking me up around 5:15 just so we don't have to worry about time. We are going to some nice Italian restaurant so I straighten my hair and put on a silky lavender dress. The other day, Cora put this henna dye in my hair and now my hair is a medium brown color. I kind of like it, so if my mom likes it tomorrow maybe I'll use real dye sometime.

Anyways, by the time I'm done doing my hair and I'm dressed it's almost 5. Since I still have some time left, I put on a matte bb cream, eyeliner, mascara, and a nice nude lipstick. Once I'm done with all that, James texts me he is here and I am so excited to go.

I walk outside and his jaw drops.

"You look so beautiful," he says as I hop into his car and I smile. He looks really good too. His hair looks a little bit shorter and it looks really good. Also, he's wearing a black shirt and tan khakis.

He leans into kiss me but I back up.

"Lipstick!" I say and he laughs.

"Fine fine, but I can't promise it'll still be on by the end of the night," he replies and I blush. That seemed kind of suggestive and I want to run away.

"Babe, are you okay?" He asks.

"Yeah," I mumble and he starts driving. He puts out his hand and I hold it lightly.

"Seriously, what's wrong?" He questions and glances over at me.

"Just your comment seemed suggestive and it freaked me out," I answer.

"It was just a joke, don't worry, baby. I don't want to rush you," James explains and I take a deep breath. I have to trust him in order for this relationship to work.

Waiting till marriage has always been a big deal in my family. It's never really spoken about but it's just a rule you know. My brother and I both got the "talk" on our thirteenth birthday. Apparently, that's what they did in my dad's family.

My grandma from my mom's side was apparently in eighth grade when she got pregnant. She had just moved to a new school and right away she got involved in the wrong crowd. Their was this boy who always flirted with her and it only took once for her to get pregnant. My grandmother hasn't seen that boy since she told him she was pregnant. After her parents found out, she was home schooled until she had the baby.

My grandmother always says that my mother was the reason she stopped doing drugs, actually focused on school, and tried to do the right thing. She says that she had just wished it was with my grandfather, the love of her life, but then my mother wouldn't be who she is so it's tough.

Anyways, we arrive at the Italian restaurant and it looks pretty crowded. James has trouble finding parking but eventually we do. A couple minutes later, we're inside and they say the wait is around an hour so we decide to go somewhere else, but the only thing nearby is a Burger King.

"Well, I'm fine eating anywhere as long as you're there," he says and I smile.

"Let's go get some Burger King then!" I reply and laugh.

~~~~~

The rest of the night flies by quickly and now I'm laying in my bed at home. Just thinking of James makes my heart flutter and gives me butterflies. I love him and I never want to lose him. I may be young but you're never too young to know what love is. Whether it's the love of a parent or sibling, or if it's the love of a girlfriend or boyfriend. This love between James and I is something that could never happen again between anyone. It was unique, just like all love is.

I fall asleep imagining James and I are walking around Times Square. It's evening time but not too cold, it is snowing though. We kiss and it heats us up and keeps us warm.

Anyways, when I wake up I'm so excited to see my mom. I wish I could live with her but I know Tommy wouldn't move out and I can't leave him, at least I shouldn't.

Around two, my mom picks me up and takes me to the mall. We shop around for about three hours, eat dinner at a Chinese place, and then head back to her house to watch a new movie we bought.

Once we get to her house, she locks the door. Now, this may sound normal and whatever but my mom is not a private person when it comes to things. Like she will always leave doors open and she will talk loud so everyone else in the house knows what is going on.

"Mom, what's wrong?" I ask.

"Honey, I need to tell you something and I need to tell you before Bradley gets home," she answers and my heart begins pounding. What's going on?

"Bradley has been very stressed and depressed since the death of Lindsay, which I mean it's his daughter so it is understandable, but he has become abusive and honey, I am so so scared. Not just for me, but for you and Tommy and your father. I've talked to your dad and we worked out an agreement. He and I are going to take you and Tommy away. We will have to change our names. We will be leaving Sunday, so make sure to have all of this done by then," my mother explains and she hands me a list.

1) Cut own hair to shoulder length and dye black
2) Pick out glasses from dad
3) Pick out an outfit from mom

"I can cut your hair and dye it if you want, we could do that Sunday morning before your new ID. By the way, your name will be Margaret Phillips, but you will go by Maggie for short. I'm sorry, do you have any questions?" She asks.

"Can I tell anyone?" I ask.

"No! No no no! Absolutely NOT! Even James can't know because if somehow Bradley reaches him and gets it out of him, it would be bad," she answers and takes a deep breath.

"This is why I'm scared," she says and lifts up her shirt. There are bruises, burns, and cuts all over her stomach. She lifts up her sleeves and rolls up her pants and there are even more.

"Why can't you just divorce him?" I ask.

"Oh darling, I would love to, but I brought it up and that's why I am hurt so badly. He said if I even brought it up again he would kill you, Tommy, your father, and me. I just want to protect you baby," she answers and begins rubbing my back. I start to cry and then I wake up.

I'm covered in sweat and am hyperventilating. I get out of bed to go to the bathroom. I splash water on my face and I look in the mirror. As soon as I see myself I remember it wasn't a dream, and now I am here, in this hotel room, trying to escape from a dangerous man.