Everybody hurts some days,
It's okay to be afraid
***
| Bailey |
Today is one of my least favorite days: chemo day. Because what's better than spending two to three hours of your Wednesday getting deadly medicine that's designed to make your body attack itself pumped into your veins?
Thankfully, getting to see Xander makes it more bearable. And now, I have Ashton. He volunteered to take me today, so I'm happy I'll have my favorite brother by my side. I just hope he isn't overwhelmed by it all, since he hasn't had much time to adjust. It was kind of forced on him, which is my fault.
"So, what exactly do you do during chemo?" Luke questions. We're all in the living room hanging out and catching up since my appointment isn't until a little bit later. I have my head in Ashton's lap while he idly plays with my hair. I push myself into a sitting position and untangle the messy braid he fingered through my hair to see everyone is awkwardly staring at the floor. I keep forgetting that none of them are used to this.
"Well, mom signs me in, I'm taken to an exam room and given a physical to make sure my counts are high enough to take the chemo, then I sit in the Chemo Room where a nurse puts the IV in my arm and I sit and do nothing for two hours," I half joke about the last part, since most of the time I am usually very bored.
"That sounds like loads of fun," Cal comments. I giggle and nod, "Oh yeah, especially when the headaches and nausea set in early, then it's a blast." Everyone averts their gaze to the floor again and I feel guilty. "Sorry. Too soon?" Ashton lifts his eyes to meet mine briefly before flicking them back to the ground, but I can still see the pain etched onto his features.
"We better go," he says, getting up and walking briskly out of the room and down the hall. I sigh as I get up and mom follows me.
"You boys are welcome to stay here until we get back," she says with a smile. They all thank her, but decide to go visit with their own families instead. I hug them all goodbye and Cal pats my head, "Don't worry, Ashton'll come around. He just needs more time." I nod and give Cal another hug, wanting to tell him how sorry I really am for not telling them sooner. Unfortunately, time is of the essence and I have to get going so I'm not late to my appointment.
I climb into the backseat of the car, Ashton in the passenger seat and mom driving, we're off to the hospital. Ashton turns the radio up a bit to make up for the eerie quietness hovering over our heads and drums along to the beat. I divert my attention to the scenery as I watch from the window, idly wondering what Ashton will think of Xander. Hopefully they get along, because Xander has proven to be a very nice person.
Once we're all set and signed in, Zoey leads Ashton and I into the Chemo Room while mom stays behind to talk to Dr. Phelps. I take note of her weary and worried expression and begin to worry myself. Is something wrong with me? Did I get worse?
"Hey fellow patient," a familiar voice snaps me out of my daze and I smile brightly at Xander, "Hi."
Ashton takes a seat next to me and flicks his eyes curiously between Xander and I. "Ashton, this is my friend Xander. Xander, this is my brother, Ashton." They both reach out to shake hands and smile warmly at each other. Okay, so far, so good.
"Ah, the infamous Ashton. I've heard a lot about you," Xander says with a goofy grin, "Makes me wish I had a sibling." I giggle, "You can take him when he's being annoying," I volunteer. Ashton pretends to be offended, making me laugh harder.
"Well, I've heard a thing or two about you as well," Ashton replies to Xander with a suspicious yet amused look. I roll my eyes, "Calm your overprotective big brother instincts, dude," I say and smack him on the arm. He pouts as Xander smiles and lets out a chuckle, "Ah, so you're talking about me now." I roll my eyes and lean back in my chair, "I talk about all my friends," I shake my head. I swear Xander's face lights up brighter than the stars on a crisp, clear night. "So we're friends?" He asks, trying to play it off casual but still letting his hopeful voice leak through. I nod and giggle, "Of course we are." Xander smiles even wider, "I'm glad." And Ashton just stares at the two of us like we're completely insane.
***
Once chemo is finally over, Ashton leaves early to go work on something with the guys, leaving mom and I alone. She seems off about something, though I'm not sure what or why. Ever since she talked to Phelps earlier, she seems shaken. What'd they talk about?
"Bailey, I need to talk with you and your mom for a moment," Dr. Phelps calls as we're leaving the Chemo Room. We comply and follow her to her office. Is this bad? I've never been in her office before, not since I was diagnosed...
"Is something wrong?" I question, trying to swallow the growing lump in my throat. Dr. Phelps gives us a reassuring smile as she opens what I'm assuming is my file.
"Well, I've noticed that the chemotherapy is already starting to damage and weaken your veins. The fact that Zoey is having difficulty getting the needle in for your IV is proof," she begins. "What I'd like to do is install a port. A port is a small disc made of plastic about the size of a quarter that sits just under the skin. A soft thin tube called a catheter connects the port to a vein. Your chemotherapy medicines will be given through a special needle that fits right into the port. You also can have blood drawn through it, so it should be much easier than being poked with needles so frequently," Dr. Phelps explains.
I glance at mom and nod. "Okay. So, I'd need to have surgery?" Mom squeezes my hand.
"To put the port in, yes, but it's a very simple operation that can be done as an outpatient procedure. As long as your vitals are strong afterward, you can leave a few hours after we've installed the port," she explains further. I nod again, not really sure what to say.
"When would we have this done?" Mom questions, worry lacing her voice.
"We'd like to do it before her next chemo appointment, so I've marked you in for this Friday at noon. We can always change it if need be," Dr. Phelps replies.
This Friday? That soon?
"That should do," Mom answers, squeezing my hand more tightly.
Dr. Phelps nods, "Alright, then I'll see you Friday, Miss Bailey. If you have any questions or concerns, please don't be afraid to call." And with that, Dr. Phelps is on her way to see another patient and before I know it I'm already in the car, staring out the window as I worry about my first surgery and more importantly, how I'm going to break the news to my already very sensitive brother.
• ° • ° • ° •
A/N - Ashton's back, he's met Xander, and now Bailey needs surgery, oh no! What do you guys think will happen? Let me know!
Have a wonderful day/night and stay fabulous, ily! Xoxo - Em:)
YOU ARE READING
Unbroken | Ashton Irwin's Little Sister (COMPLETED)
Fanfiction[COMPLETED] "I'm not going to let this define me, and I'm certainly not going to let it destroy me." In which Ashton's sister is hiding a secret that will change both of their lives.
