Letters to Harry

Behind.

Why is it about you that keep appearing when I was just about to give up on you?

It's like you are saying 'Don't give up on me love. Not yet. I'll be there. I'm part of your future. I'm here. You just haven't seen it yet. Be patience.'

Why Harry!? Why?

You know that I can't live between reality and imagination right? But why is it about you keep appearing in less unexpected places that I was somehow there too??

And Especially, when I was about to give up on you and settles in to my current relationship now.

It does feels like there's a rivarly between you and my current relationhsip.

Like there's a rivalry between you as part of my future to my current relationship.

And I would like to ask why.

I'm sure you don't know the answer yet.

But today you were everywhere, appearing as signs and symbols, and I was like immediately connected to your surroundings.

It might sound simple to other who don't understand the struggles, but - you're music videos plays continuesly on a TV where I was having my hair coloring at. When I leave to go to the loo and back to the salon again. You were gone. No longer on that TV.

You appeared on your private accounts and somehow I knew that you'll be posting at that exact timings. And you do. You post it on your private instagram.

You tweeted today. About International Womens day. You barely tweet lately.

It's like your universal presences surrounds my world instantly and for some reason I was suddenly aware and connected to that connection.

I hope you feel my pain, my confusion, Harry.

You seemed real, people will think I'm crazy.

But what is it about you, that everytime I gave up on that tiny little voice that were saying that you are my future husband, that we belonged together, that I need to slim down my weight so you'll be attracted to me, that the fraction between reality and dreams seemed to be hazed and dazzled into pieces???

Am I dreaming?

Should I stop dreaming?

Or this is my reality?

Or is it escapism?

Should I leave this inner voices behind??

Or am I being impatient??

It's been two years.

I don't know Harry, I hope you come faster in my life when God told us that we're ready to meet up and know each other.

Time will tell.

I love you and Let's meet soon, yeah?

(end.)