Chapter 39

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Aria's POV-

A faint noise. A little murmur. And soft,soothing white light. That's what I see. I feel numb and a little tired. I hear a soft voice saying something to me. But I am too weak to open my eyes. I want to open them and see who is calming me with words. The first thing I think that it must be my mom. My sweet mom, always there for me; through thick and thin. She is the only thing left of me now. And there is a sudden urge to see her. I want to get in her warmth and weep till I dry my eyes. I want to tell her that her baby girl can not take it anymore. She is confused and sacred that she will mess up everything again. She is tired of pretending to world and herself that everything is OK and she'll be fine. She is breaking inside. I want to tell her that she wants to give up now. I feel a warm flow sliding down my cheeks. I am crying. And for some reason it feels good.

"Hush hush babe.....why are you crying?" And finally hear her voice, it's not mom but it's Lisa. She is caressing my face; wiping down the tears streaming down my face. I open my eyes and see her concerned face. Maybe it's exhaustion or its just that feeling that someone cares. I hug her tight and start crying. And she lets me cry without any questions and gently strokes my hair. I cry my heart out.Sometimes all you need is someone to hold you up when you are breaking into pieces.

"Now will you tell me what's the problem? Should I call someone? Doctor maybe?" She asks, looking at me and breaking the hug. She wipes away the tears which didn't leave my side. I shake my head in response. I don't need a doctor or anyone at the moment.

"Talk it out babe. You'll feel good I promise." She gently says. "Why are you crying?"

"I don't know Lisa. I am so confused right now. I don't know what is happening right now. I just can't act anymore of being the brave girl."

"Then don't act. Let the mask fall off. Now speak." She says, taking my hand in her hands. The warmth is welcoming.

"I....I felt bad when he didn't show up on time. I did everything myself. Made sure that he will love everything. And then he comes to the party and not alone. He brings a girl with him. And that says everything why he was late. I have no clue why it crushed my heart. Seeing him, looking at her and smiling. I should feel happy right? That he has found someone. But no, I feel jealous Lisa. I didn't like the feeling at all." I close my eyes, as the painful sight comes in my mind. He looking at her and saying something that made her giggle like a little girl.

"You like him Aria. You really do."

"No, that's not true." I protest.

"Don't lie to yourself love. I've seen the way you look at him. All the efforts you had to make his day special. You wanted to see him happy and I've seen the way he cares for you. Even after you did that to him, he still cares. I saw the way he freaked out looking at you unconscious. He was scared. Scared to lose you. He likes you to Aria. I don't see the point of rejecting him. Why did you do that?." She finish her talk.

"It's not so easy Lisa. This is no fairytale. This is reality. Everytime something good happens I know the sadness follows. And that's why I said no. Cause I knew it would end into flames." My voice cracks at the end.

She gets up, pours water in the glass and hands me it. I feel grateful for the distraction as I suppress the tears back.

"Tell me what do you think about him? How do you feel when he is around."

"I feel....I feel safe. And I feel strong. It's like his presence makes me work hard and to give my best. I love how he loves his family and always takes out time to spend with them. I love it when he is playing with junior. His whole world revolves around his son and his mother. And I love it when he smiles, his eyes get this small and he leans back while smiling. I love it when he talks to me. I love everything about him." I say. Lisa smiles.

"Then it's better than I thought Ari. You are in love with him." Love? With him? No that's not possible. That can't be true right? How can I just fall in love with someone.

"No no no. That can't be true. How can I just fall in love with him. I can't think about it." I ask.

"You don't think and fall in love Aria. You just do. It's unexpected and beautiful. You fall in love unexpectedly with the most unexpected person." She smiles. But she can not hide the pain behind that smile. She gets up, making her way to the big glass door.

"You feel like your life never had a meaning till you meet that person. And when you finally find them, you feel whole. It's like finding the missing piece of your soul. All you want to do is be with that person and let them know how much you love them. You want to spend entire night talking about your interests or listening to their sweet talks. And if that person feels the same about you then there is no better feeling in the world. Now you tell me Aria, he must have been broken after you said no. Just imagine yourself in his place." She glances at me. I would have been broken. And that's what happened with him too right. Tears gather in my eyes, I put him through this and yet here he is standing strong. Acting like everything is fine. If he wanted he could have thrown me out without any explanation. But he didn't. Tears are flowing down my face. And there is sudden urge to see him and tell him that I am sorry.

"Don't let him go Aria. Don't let your love go away. You'll regret it till your lifetime." She is looking straight in the dark. I could feel the pain in her voice.

There is a knock on the door. I hear Mrs. Aveiro's voice outside. Lisa gets inside, grabs her purse from the table. I see the fine impressions of the tears that were there before a few moments ago. She walks to the door, and says final words that shattered my heart.

"I've lost my love Aria. And I really hope that you don't." And with that she is out of the room.





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