Chapter 49 - For Her

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(A lot of people are skipping the chapter before be carful! Make sure you read it before this or it won't make any sense.)

The funeral was all black attire and glassy white faces, every one of them with swollen red eyes.

The sun sparkled radiantly and the virescent tint of the spring day under its dazzle was offensively lively and cheerful. It acted as if god conspired to show me how the world would go on without my best friend. It shouldn't. Everything should be as grey and hazy as my feelings; it should be cold and damp with silent air. But the birds still harmonized, and the petals still bloomed. While I am stuck in the wickedness, the rest of the world rushed passed, reality didn't gift me a chance to catch my breath.

I wandered through the churchyard like a silhouette of myself. My sluggish stroll dragged to a slow stop as I arrived next to him. I glanced up at him through the tears in my eyes; I saw everything thing he felt, everything he thought. The vacancy in his heart, the dullness crushing his brain, the salty tears that streamed from his eyes, the sheer hollowness that now took claim of his soul threatened to engulf him entirely. I saw it all.

The people who had attended Sophie's funeral had retreated away from the ache of mourning and back to the happiness of their own lives as they rejoiced the fact that they were not the ones being buried. But we stayed behind because no matter how far away we were from the sight of grave every time we blinked our stained minds would lead us right back here. Time and distance are nothing to us; she wouldn't be forgotten.

Vesper cried like his chest was lungs where concaving. He trembled like he was standing atop his own earthquake.

Carefully, I allow my knuckles to brush his. If it weren't for the slight jerk in his hand, I wouldn't have realised that he knew I was by his side. Seeing the fact that he didn't turn and yell at me, I took his lack of a response as a silent plead. I slipped the tips of my fingers through the cracks of his, tangling our hands together. His palm feels warm when embraced by mine. I squeeze his hand; I have to be strong. For him. Because if both of us are openly falling apart, I doubt we could survive this.

"I can't believe she's gone," His voice was rasping, like an old man, even though his features seemed so young and afraid. "She was all I had."

I didn't speak, not only because it had become hard for me to do so since it happened, but because I knew Vesper needed someone to listen. Not to tell him how much she loved him, or shower him with sympathy or to lie and say to him that it would get easier. It wouldn't. Sure, he would eventually adjust to living without her, but it would never be easier for him to reminisce about his sister. It would never mean that he would be able to think of her without missing her.

Time couldn't give him peace it could give him a better shield.

"You have us," A hand slipped onto his shoulder, as Nathan moved to stand on his other side, "And you always will."

Through his tear-stained face, he turns to Nathan and then to me, a watery sad smile spread across his face, "I hope, I can hold you to that."

I lay my head on his should and look down at the newly placed white marble tombstone, it read;

Sophie Marshall

2003 - 2017

"In death may an angel finally spread her wings, and return to the heaven that she deserves and leave behind the tests that God gave to show that she belonged by his side. We will never forget the love and happiness you gave us; your memories will forever live on in our hearts."

I squeeze his hand once again, and this time he squeezes back, "You can... I promise."

I feel Vesper begin to rub circles on the back of my hand and I know that for the first time, the promise that leaves my lips is one that I will never break. I will never give up on being Vespers Parachute every time he feels like falling because I know that if she was here, that's what she would be.

From the corner of my eye, I see Cole and Evan quietly slip up beside us, I reach over to Cole and clasp his hand in my free one. He turns offering me a fake smile; I offer one back. Evan stumbles forward and places a small single white rose atop the pile of petals that already lay on the soil.

"Bye Soph," he whispers before stepping back to Coles side, he wraps his arms around himself, and silent tears begin to flush his pink tinted cheeks. Cole doesn't hesitate to wrap his free arm around Evans' shoulder and pull Evan to his side.

Mom and Dad are the next people I notice approach; surprisingly my face doesn't scrunch up when I see that there is a third person linked to their party of three. Greg catches my eyes with his own, and the old bastard gives me a small and a cautious head nod in silent greeting. I see the way my mom stares up at him with a twinkle in her eyes that I never noticed before and I nod back at him. He understands the message and seems to relax knowing that the fact that he is with my mother no longer bothers me. If he makes her happy and treats her well, then he is a good enough man to place a ring on her finger.

Damian and Lavigne stroll up behind a few metres behind, a meter or two between them as they both stand, thoughtful expressions on both of their faces as they stare at the marble tombstone.

A shaky laugh passes through my lips when I see Everest, Maverick, Emily, James, Shakira, Zach and Archibald hanging off to the side. I can tell by their pale and awkward faces that they feel out of place which is what makes me laugh at the fact that in this chaos at least there is some normalcy.

Glancing around I see that with all these people I have grown to care about, that maybe, just maybe, I can get through this emptiness, we can get through this together. I know it's going to be hard. I know there are going to be times when I feel like giving up, but now I realise that even if I lost my best friend... I still have people to live for; I still have people who will try to pick me up every time I start to fall.

"We will survive this," I promise aloud, and I know everyone can hear me through the eerie silence between us, "Sophie was the strongest person I knew, and she would have wanted us to live. No matter how hard it will be, I know that she left a small part of her strength inside all of us so that we can try and live our lives the best we can without her to help walk us through."

Sniffs and almost unnoticeable nods of their heads all that anyone can find in themselves to respond with and I accept that. I know that they are all too rooted in their headspace to respond.

Silence overtakes us again and time becomes insignificant as we all stand for god knows how long, arms and bodies entangled as we begin the journey of trying to heal not only ourselves but also each other.

The spring light begins to fade to a pink glow, it casts a beautiful glow on her tombstone, and all I can think is; I'll miss you Killer Bad Girl.

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