Rockstar Serenade: The Verse

Ch 32: Jealousy

KAILEY~

Jane is a nightmare I can’t escape from. She’s a part of me, a dark side of me I refuse to let anyone else know. She’s my shadow. And I’m jealous of my shadow.

I know I shouldn’t have, but I did anyway. I told Terra everything. Everything.

And she doesn’t take the matter lightly. “You know how seriously messed up this is, right?”

I nod, tears pooling at the corner of my eyes.

“But hey,” she says. “Look at the bright side. You should be grateful. At least now you know who the real Trevor is.”

I swallow the lump in my throat, thinking that she’s probably implying that I shouldn’t push myself to him. ThatI don’t stand a chance and he’s not the type of guy who’d want be like I want him. That the real Trevor chooses Jane over me.

“I see me in you. See how messed up both of us are?”

Terra’s wearing little to no makeup now. It’s unusual to see her this way. She’s not the hot, playful, naughty rockstar who’s a stellar on stage like everybody knows. Right now, she’s just a woman, with a developing human being inside her tummy.

“We should stick together,” I suggest after contemplating on how miserable we both are.

“Yeah,” she says. “Chris and I are working things out. We hang out more than we should—no lust, flings or anything. Just being back to when we were dating. Anyway, I hope you and Trevor would do the same thing, if you’re really into him. But if not, save yourself from further emotional turmoil, little missy. You know what to do.”

She stands up, motioning that she’s got band stuff to do. Even if DAB’s on hiatus now, she’s still the president of the club, and they’re still signed with their record label.

“You know,” she says right after reaching for the door knob. “Secrets can’t be kept forever.”

I give out a loud gasp. Is she telling me that Trevor’s gonna know one day? The thought itself send shivers down my spine I’d nearly pee.

“I mean look at me,” she says, smirking. “I told her our dirty little secret.” I shoot her a questioning look, a plea to clarify things.

 “Hannah knows.”

                                                   *****

“But the most crucial part of being an international band, is finding a good recording company. Frankly, it’s a game of luck because you send demo tapes to as many companies as possible, and if one favors you, you will get so hyped that you’ll disregard their reputation...” Here I am, listening to one of those boooring lectures by the club again. Any minute now and my eyelids would surely droop. Just when I’m about to give in to the heaviness of my head, a loud yawn escapes my seatmate Terence, jerking me awake. Looking down at me—yeah he’s pretty tall even if he sits—he chuckles. “Sorry ‘bout that, lead singer.”

Smiling as a reply, I pinch myself to snap back to reality. This is for Flame Alyconia anyway. Love the band, Brynn said. They’re your new family, she said.

“We don’t blame the band of course. A recording company calling you is like winning the lottery. Take note of the massive competitions. In the end it will just have to depend on the smooth relationship between the recording company and the band.”

“Can’t believe he’s a frontman,” Oliver comments, nudging me from the other side. “I’ve heard he’s good live but that’s not the case inside this lecture room.”