Rockstar Serenade: The Verse

Ch 34: This Isn't a Place Where A Rockstar Like You Should Be

KAILEY~

 

I hate the stinging sterile scent of disinfectants and rubbing alcohol, in the chilliness of this place enclosed in ghostly white walls. I hate the formality, the primness of those in white gowns. I hate the eerie quiet of the grieving people I’ve passed by, momentarily disturbed every now and then by hustling of doctors and nurses. I hate how everything around me is of the purest white, how my sneakers squeak against the pristine floor. I hate this spine-chilling feeling, trembling all the more as I spend more minutes in this ghastly place. I hate the guy who keeps on following me around—robbed of speech, apparently anxious, at lost of what to do or where to go, just like me. But what I hate the most is feeling small in this vast, strange place, where everybody disregards me, pay no attention to me, like I’m just some insignificant thing getting in their way, making me feel useless.

I don’t know what’s worse, though— knowing that my mentor’s in there behind those scary-looking doors, or not knowing what’s happening inside there. Yes, ignorance is a bliss, but curiosity and anxiousness kills.

Eavesdropping doesn’t help at all. The only term I understood from them is ‘infection’ but that does not completely solve the mystery behind those doors. How terrible is this infection that’s got Terra in the emergency room? How’s the baby? How’s Terra? What is exactly going on?

Things will be alright, right? This is the hospital, right? They know what’s the best thing to do, right?

If it weren’t for that tap on my shoulder I wouldn’t snap back to reality. I realize I’m standing alone in the middle of the hallway, frozen as I stare at the doors.

Trevor has been with me all this time, but somehow I don’t appreciate it at all. Right now I just want to see Terra. I want to see her smiling and happy. I want somebody to tell me that she isn’t in pain. I want her out of this creepy place, away from these groups of people wearing troubled expressions. I want to scream at them for displaying such demeanor.

 Terra’s going to be alright, isn’t she?

Tell me she’ll be fine... Tell me I’ll still be able to see her...

In the midst of my cluttered thoughts, Trevor reminds me that I’ve been standing out here for so long. “Kailey, you should take a seat.”

“And you should stop pacing back and forth behind me,” I reply distastefully, scowling. “Don’t overreact,” I add. “Terra will be okay.”

Instead of a reply, he takes out a handkerchief from his pocket. He wipes the corners of my eyes, while I’m not even aware that there are tears spilling from them already. I may have called the people around me exaggerated in showing their sadness, but I’m the worst. I only have the slightest idea about Terra’s situation and here I am starting the waterworks.

I reach for his handkerchief and finish drying my eyes myself. “Have you spoken to Chris?” I ask, trying to make Trevor forget about my tears.

He shakes his head as his eyes dart across the other side of the hall. I follow his gaze and my eyes land upon Chris talking to DAB’s other members Keith and Andre.

For a moment there, the first times I’ve hang out with Terra flash before my eyes. That time I was at the stage with Trevor and she rolled up my sleeves to expose my scars, then I called her a bitch. That time when she dragged me down the corridors of the headquarters—which is against the rules that time—for me to use Andre’s drumkit and assess my skills. Those moments I try to steal glances her way whenever she’s with Chris and I’d see, uhh, never mind. That time I laughed real hard when I learned that her second name is Novalisque, and the look on her face was priceless. That time when she went hysterical and Oliver phoned me, and, man, she was a horrible mess.