Emo Trinity x Reader

Patrick Stump x Reader - 4am Anxiety

Requested on Tumblr
Word count: 3 181

You remembered vividly the excited phone call you had gotten from Patrick almost ten years ago.

You had just finished college with a degree in photography and jokingly asked Patrick if his band needed a tour photographer. Patrick and you had been friends since High School and apparently he had taken your joke seriously since he had called you to tell you, you had gotten the job. You had been incredibly excited, jumping around your small apartment for almost twenty minutes before you started packing your suitcase. The butterflies in your stomach had almost made you feel sick, but you had tried to ignore the familiar feeling. You knew these butterflies all too well. They always came when you thought of Patrick. They had been there in High School, they had been there when he had called you and now, almost ten years later, they were still there. You had tried dating other people, mostly to have a cover story. But it always failed. How was it supposed to last while you had feelings for someone who was so out of your league anyway? You had really tried to fall in love with someone who was not Patrick. There had been amazing people, and each one of them had been so heartbroken about you not feeling the same. You felt bad, because you had given them hope, but you felt worse for you, knowing that while Patrick was in your life, you'd never really be able to get over your feelings for him and lead a normal life.

One would think that after this long time you would have told him, but no. You had never even considered telling him how you felt. He was too perfect, too pure, too sweet. If you told him, he'd probably feel guilty and your friendship would slowly break apart over it. And that was something you never wanted to risk. Especially not now, that you were on tour with the band again, as you had been for the last ten years.

Of course there had been their break, but in that time you had toured with Patrick, taking pictures while he was on his Soul Punk tour. It had not been an easy time for him. The harsh criticism at Folie a Deux had made him lose his confidence and just when he had rebuilt it and published Soul Punk, the same happened to that album. You were with him all the time, you had watched him write the texts and the music. You had taken pictures of him while he had been in the studio or on the street recording. You had cheered with him after listening to the complete album for the first time. You had held him after the first wave of destructive criticism hit. You had found him sitting on the floor, looking hopeless and lost after a show where he had only been booed at. You had made him a hot chocolate and told him not to listen to what the people were saying. But of course he did. He wanted to make music that not only expressed his feelings but also was liked by his fans. He felt like he had to defend the physical change he had gone through, even though you told him he had to justify nothing, to no one, especially not to people who were so rude. He had always smiled sadly and thanked you, but you knew deep inside that you did not really change anything about the way he felt.

But this was in the past now. Fall Out Boy was back and they were on the Save Rock And Roll tour together with Panic! at the Disco and Twenty One Pilots. And of course you were their tour photographer again, just like you had always been. By now it was not even a question anymore, whether you would come or not. You were just as much part of the band as the four men, and you loved it. Yes, Pete was silly and especially with Brendon around you never knew who would be pranked next. Joe and Andy kept to themselves most of the time, unless they were in an especially good mood and Patrick was... well Patrick. You knew he was not perfect, but to you he was. He was all you wished for and dreamt of and you were well aware that this was kind of unhealthy, but you could not help it. It was not as if you had no life of your own though. You had your own hobbies and now that you had gotten to know Tyler and Josh, you were hanging out with those two more often as well. They were both absolute sweethearts. At one point you had even considered telling them about your feelings for Patrick, feeling like you finally needed to share this secret that you had been carrying around for so long, but you had decided against it. What if they tried to push something? What if they told Patrick? What if he was mad with you? What if the band was mad with you? What if they kicked you out? What if you lost the four people you considered as family just as much as your parents and siblings? What if...