a place we know| ✓

six

"And find a place where every single thing you see tells you to stay."
S E E K E R
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December 13th
11:36 AM
New York
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The morning light danced across Gunner's face and roused him out of his stupor.

He awoke to a new morning, the dawn's light creeping through the windows and casting a warm, amber glow over Audrey's face. She lay beside him, her long black hair cascading around her face and over the pillows, her light brown skin kissed by the golden light of morning. Gunner was struck by how peaceful she looked, her features softened by the gentle pull of sleep. The quiet of the morning was only interrupted by the soft rise and fall of her chest as she breathed in and out, her dark lashes casting delicate shadows on her cheekbones. He reached out to gently stroke her hair, and the tender gesture felt like an unspoken promise to never let her go again.

He was calm, basking in her serenity, smiling benevolently to himself and at the feeling of welcoming the day with his beautiful girlfriend in his arms. Gunner's mind drifted back to the previous night when they had made love, their bodies entwined and lost in passion. He had been grateful for that moment of connection, but now, in the light of day, his thoughts were clouded with sadness. The countless nights he had spent away from her, lost in his addiction. The fights they had had, the tears they had shed. He knew that he had put her through so much, and he couldn't shake the feeling of regret that weighed heavily on his heart.

He lazily fumbled for his phone on the bedside table only to find that he had slept through eight calls from Ace and at least fifty texts, and he figured Leah was late for school.

As selfish as it sounded, he wished time would stop and everyone would disappear and it'd just be him and Audrey. It always used to be that way. His heart ached as he thought of those times, and he wished with all his might that he could turn back the clock and relive those days. He missed the feeling of being carefree, and he missed the Audrey that he fell in love with.

With his gaze fixated on the ceiling, he didn't notice when she opened her eyes. The sound of her voice broke through the silence, and he turned to face her. Her eyes were soft and concerned, and her voice was gentle as she asked, "Gunner, are you okay?"

He didn't force himself to smile because it was obvious she saw right through his façade. He felt like he didn't deserve her love, like he was somehow tainted by his past mistakes. All he could do was lie there, lost in his own misery, unable to find a way out. Why did she love him, he asked himself. How could she look at him and choose to stay?

He avoided mirrors in the house because he couldn't stomach glimpsing his shoddy appearance. He looked paler than usual, his eyes sunken, and his cheeks hollowed out from the weight he lost over the months. But what truly tormented him is the sight of his arms, riddled with needle marks that served as a painful reminder of the addiction that had taken control of his life. Why wasn't she repulsed?

Why didn't she leave him?

"Gunner, baby, what's wrong?"

He swallowed the lump in his throat and sighed. He finally turned to look at Audrey, his eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm so sorry."

She took his hand in her clasp and laced their fingers together. He felt the pressure of it, of being a good father and a good boyfriend when he couldn't even take care of himself.