a place we know| ✓

sixteen

"And find a place where every single thing you see tells you to stay."
S E E K E R
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December 25th
12:56 PM
New York
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Audrey stood at the entrance of the brick building and in her pocket, she clutched the white envelope she tore open this morning.

Gunner left her a voicemail like he had every other day since she moved out of the apartment, but today he told her about a letter which was addressed to them both; Leah had been relocated to an orphanage just outside of the Bronx and both her parents were welcome to visit before their set court date.

Her heart skyrocketed at the chance of seeing her little girl again despite the bittersweet feeling that pooled at the base of her stomach. As much as Gunner disappointed her, and although she didn't think she could forgive him for wishing ill of their daughter, she wanted him to come with her. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to last one minute without falling to pieces.

Her hands moved with frailty and shook. They were cold and numb, she continually clenched them, unsure of how to get blood rushing back into her fingertips. As if he noticed, Gunner's hand, rough and just as icy, clasped her own and let their intertwined fingers hang between them. She looked into his eyes and watched as he lifted them, leaned in to kiss her skin temple, then ran the pad of his thumb over her knuckles.

Audrey felt her frustration chip, her chest warmed.

"Are we gonna go in there?" He never once whisked his eyes away while they both waited for her answer.

The building scared Audrey. There was nothing exquisite about it. It resembled every other type in the neighbourhood–brown, brick, and standing three floors high. It made her miss their old apartment even more, and there was no doubt in her mind that Leah missed it too.

"Yeah," Audrey said. "Let's go see her."

Gunner nodded at her and took the lead, guiding her behind him as he marched up the front steps and pushed open the glassy entrance door. They were inside a small waiting area, small and cozy, but not comfortable. She looked at the floor to avoid the stares of other people all waiting to visit whoever had been taken out of their life.

It was too stuffy and Audrey felt like the walls were closing in on them. The heat her ex-boyfriend's hand provided was too much. She let it go, her head hanging low on her shoulders.

He touched her shoulder gently and Audrey could have melted then and there. She didn't want to do this. She was anxious. She wasn't ready to face the fact that all this was her fault, all hers.

"I'll talk to them for you," Gunner whispered to her. "Just wait for me here."

She didn't protest, in fact, more than glad Gunner was up to it. "O-Okay..."

He left her with a kiss to her forehead and disappeared into the room right over, to speak with a secretary she assumed. Audrey immediately sunk into the closest chair and kept her face in her hands, forcing herself to control her breathing. With all the eyes, she needed to act stronger than she really was.

"Are you okay?"

Audrey looked up and met a questioning pair of eyes from across the room. The woman was older, but she appeared kind. On her head was a red, knit hat that covered the wispy strands of her blonde hair, her face ruddy–perhaps from all the crying she had done.

She hurriedly straightened herself, filling her lungs with air. "I'm fine."

"First time here?" The woman asked, offering a tightlipped smile. "Don't worry, it gets easier."