a place we know| ✓

forty

"And find a place where every single thing you see tells you to stay."
S E E K E R
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January 11th
10:54 AM
New York
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"I want more syrup."

Leah squeezed the bottle, slathering the thick, golden brown liquid on her plate of perfectly rounded pancakes. "Now it's perfect," she chirped.

Audrey lifted her brows but smiled. "Your breakfast looks like a mess. We need to get that sweet tooth under control."

Her daughter shoved the fork into her mouth and the syrupy goodness of warm pancakes flooded her taste buds. "But it tastes really good."

She reached for the honey. "Can I have some?"

"Stop soaking your food in sugar," Audrey shooed her small hand away and shook her head. "Just eat."

"You're no fun." Leah's lips pouted as she took another bite out of her pancakes. "Now it doesn't taste nice," she grumbled.

Gunner sat at the other end of the table, an outsider looking in. Earlier this morning she awoke, startled, hoping that last night had been one lousy dream. But stumbling across him draped over the living room couch during the early hours of dawn, snoring softly as his chest rose and fell with shallow breaths, reality blew her off balance like a gust of wind and right into her current predicament.

They fought, he relapsed, she was no longer engaged.

No wonder her left hand felt lighter–the weight of her ring had become familiar in the short amount of time it embellished her finger. She caught herself yearning to touch the cool metal under the table, but the emptiness served as a brutal reminder of what she'd lost.

Audrey folded her hands in her lap and pursed her lips, fighting the urge to ask Gunner to return her engagement ring.

Having grown in a home where her father loved her mother, she vaguely remembered the kisses they exchanged at the dinner table, the compassion in their actions, the gentleness in their smiles. Or the longing in their eyes when they were together, the softness in their voices as they spoke. Audrey yearned for what they shared. It was such a beautiful thing to promise yourself to another, for two hearts to beat as one, to have something eternal.

Audrey didn't need a useless piece of paper to prove her devotion to Gunner. It would be nice to have, but it wasn't important. A ring was nothing more than a symbol, what mattered was written in their souls.

She had given up her family for the possibility that she would one day marry Gunner, hadn't she? So what was the point of it all now? Why set herself backwards when she was only steps away from attaining happiness for herself?

"Mommy, can I have some more?"

Audrey snapped her gaze upwards and met Leah's unblinking eyes, the corners of her smiling mouth glossy with syrup and honey.

"Sure you can, princess." She pushed her uneaten plate of pancakes towards Leah, suddenly deprived of appetite. "You can have mine. I'll eat something else."

She picked up the honey and syrup and got to work, drenching it with sugar. "Do you want some, daddy?"

Audrey stiffened, and for the first time since they sat for breakfast, mustered the courage to look at Gunner. He was as rigid as her, pushing around his half-eaten food whilst his eyes darted left and right, the dark caves underneath them bold and prominent against his pale skin. She could never handle looking at him after he came down from his highs.