Inner And Outer Demons

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Tris's POV

I can hear my heart pulsing in my ears, echoing loudly like a drum solo. Thump. Thump. Thump. My hands shake as I clasp them in my lap, trying my hardest to keep them and my entire body still. But anxiety and nerves coarse through my veins like it's my blood.

"Deep breaths." Zeke whispers in my ear, and his hand touches mine that trembles in my lap. My struggle must be visual, and slowly I inhale a deep breath and let it out somewhat shakily. Shutting my eyes, I pray that I can get my body under control. It does no one good, especially Tobias, if I have a full blown panic attack here.

"We're going to get him out of this." Zeke reassures me softly, but as the doors to the left open up, I no longer hear his words. I hear nothing as the officer walks in with the criminal dressed in an orange jumpsuit. My eyes widen and my hand raises to cup my mouth that gasps softly at his appearance. The man brought forward to the table before the judge isn't a criminal, he's innocent.

His hair is disheveled, and I know he's run his hands through his curls too many times to count. I've never seen him in orange before I realize as I stare at him in that frumpy uncomfortable looking jumpsuit. And although he somehow manages to look good in any color, seeing him in this way wasn't how I wanted to see the color orange on him. In an ugly jumpsuit that has handcuffs around his ankles and wrists, all connecting to a thin metal belt around his waist to hold his chains. He shouldn't be in chains right now... he should be in my arms, I think to myself as my eyes begin to tear up at his appearance.

"All rise." Standing to my feet a little too fast as my head spins, I can't take my eyes off of him. My better half who stands just feet away from me in chains he doesn't deserve to be wearing. He looks brave I realize as I continue to watch him, but I want to reach out and scream to him that he doesn't have to be. That he doesn't have to do this any longer, that he can tell the truth even if that means selling the woman who birthed him down the river. Tobias, please, you don't have to do this.

As the judge enters, my hearing goes in and out. Muting for a short moment, until the sound of speech blares once again in my head. But whether I can hear them talking or not, it all swirls by me in slow motion. Each moment dragging out longer than the next. Making this experience more excruciating than it already is.

"How do you plead?" The judge asks, and my hearing trickles in slowly as my eyes seem to will Tobias to say the right thing.

My mouth is dry and the trembling is back, even though I feel numb, Zeke touches my hand again and that tells me that although I can't tell, I am indeed shaking.

"Guilty."

My mouth drops, and I hear Zeke curse under his breath beside me. Now neither of us are calm. My eyes leak a single tear as I look at Tobias in shock. How could he not enter a not guilty plea? What is he thinking? But just as I begin to ask myself that question, I find the answer clear as day... Tobias Eaton isn't thinking.

"Can't his lawyer do something?" I whisper to Zeke, as I look over at him in panic.

But just as I expected, Zeke solemnly shakes his head as the officer moves to take hold of Tobias's arm again to take him back out. He'll be held without bail until his sentencing hearing.

The judge's gavel sounds that this case is done, and the next is to get ready. Zeke sits back down in his seat, putting his head in his hands. His hands gripping at his hair exasperated and frustrated with what just happened. But I stay stuck on my feet, as I watch the officers lead Tobias out of the court room. And just as he's nearly out, as they open up the large doors, his head turns. And those blue eyes lock with mine for a short second. A long enough moment for the blue to suck all the air from my lungs, and cause my heart to skip a beat as I become lost in his gaze before it disappears from me.