Inner And Outer Demons

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Tobias's POV

A bitter taste fills my mouth as I walk the path towards a visitation room to face the unknown. I was told I had a visitor, but not who it was. My mind swirls with the very limited possibilities of those who could be waiting on the other side of the door for me. Each person that flashes in my mind makes my heart ache for completely different reasons.

The chime of metal hitting metal sounds as I walk slowly with a correction officer escorting me. It's a noise I've grown used to over my weeks here. My chains clambering against themselves as I take a step forward, or move my hands in the slightest motion. I hate that it doesn't startle me anymore. It's one on the long list of things that doesn't effect me anymore, as I've grown accustomed to my surroundings. I've grown used to these bleak prison walls, and it pains me to admit so.

The officer walking with me, stops as we approach the door. It's a single room for more privacy, but still once I enter I'll be chained to the small table. The officer opens the door and guides me in, and as he attaches my chains to the base of the table, I notice that the person I'm meeting with isn't here yet. And my anxiety of who I'm waiting for only grows.

The first person to enter my mind was Tris. Obviously. She's been the only one other than my lawyer to visit me thus far. I want to see her again. I want another moment with my girl, but as I picture her face my brain reminds me of the odds that she'd be back to visit me... in prison. It's been weeks that I've been in here, she'll have to give up on me at some point. And not a single part of me would blame her. This is my choice, and I don't want her to throw away her life just because I am.

My head drifted to Evelyn for a moment; the slightest second of a minute. A part of me had wondered if I would see her or speak to her again... but then again I find myself laughing at my naivety. I may not know my mother well, but I know her well enough to know that when she's given an out... she'll take it and run and never look back.

The click of the heavy metal door opening up, makes my head snap up. Watching it open to reveal the person who has come to see me. And the person who enters the small room, closing the door behind them, takes me by surprise.

"Wow Eaton," His voice rings in the air and echoes off the four walls enclosing us. "You look like shit."

Leaning back as far as I can in my uncomfortable seat, I tilt my head to the side and a faint smirk plays at my lips. "Yeah, I'm in prison. What's your excuse?"

Amar laughs as he pulls the chair across from me out, and takes a seat. The man has been there for me for years, yet somehow I hadn't even considered him as one of the people that might show up to see me.

"You holding your own in here?" Amar asks, resting an arm against the table.

I shrug my shoulders, "Don't have much of a choice."

Amar nods his head, "I was never quite worried about you in that way. You know how to take care of yourself, not take shit from anyone."

I let out a low noise in the back of my throat, "But you worry for me in other ways? Amar, I'm touched."

Amar chuckles as we banter back and forth as we used to, and for a moment I forget where I am. A moment that doesn't last very long, as I pull back too far and my wrists are yanked tightly by my cuffs.

"Seriously though, how are you doing?"

Swallowing, I regard his question for a moment as any humor is quickly wiped from my face and mind. How am I doing... how am I supposed to be doing?

"I'm alright." I tell him, and it's not a complete lie. I'm alive... that's good in my book.

"You're doing alright?" Amar asks as I nod, but he continues and I realize it was rhetorical. "That's good, but I know for a fact that your girl's not."