Inner And Outer Demons

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Tris's POV

It feels weird to say the least, sitting at my desk without Tobias at his own across from me. I'm used to his presence. I'm used to being able to look up and see him there across from me over his computer screen. But here I sit, with only that of an empty chair in front of me to look at. No bright beautiful blue eyes to meet me, or the sight of his face to make me smile in the middle of a work load. There is only emptiness and sadness as I stare blankly at the desk he should be sitting at.

"It's strange," A familiar voice makes me jump in my seat. "not seeing you two together."

Clutching my chest, I spin in my chair to face the person standing behind me. "You give no warning, do you?"

I laugh as I ask her, and watch Tori walk over to the empty seat sitting beside my desk. "Sorry."

Shaking my head, I take a deep breath and relax back into my chair. "It feels as strange as it looks." I tell her honestly.

"Have you gone to seen him?" Tori asks, crossing her right leg over her left, and she rests an elbow on the edge of my desk.

Nodding my head, I think back to the day a week ago now that I went to the prison to visit him. It feels like just a week ago, but if you look at the calendar it's been longer. Weeks... plural.

"How is he?" Tori questions, and I shrug my shoulders.

"Stubborn." I respond, and she lets out a soft chuckle. "But, he's doing okay. Or at least, as okay as one in his position can be I suppose."

"How are you holding up?" Tori asks me gently. And as I let out a soft sigh, I realize so many people have asked me how I'm doing over these past few rough weeks, but I haven't asked myself that question. I haven't checked in with myself and taken account of how I'm truly doing.

"I'm trying to keep it together," I admit softly. "but it's hard. It's really hard."

"I have all these different emotions running through me constantly. Anger, sadness, pain, outrage. But I know letting them get to me won't help anything." I shrug my shoulders with a reluctant breath. "I just have to keep moving forward, I guess."

"It's okay Tris," Tori says right as I finish. "to feel the way you feel. Anyone in your shoes would. Tobias is in prison. He's being charged with a crime he didn't commit, but he won't tell anyone the truth."

"I know he feels this obligation to save his mother right now. And I'm trying to understand it, and I'm trying to let him feel it for a few minutes. But he's saving someone who doesn't deserve saving. She's letting him drown. She's letting him take this blame and walk with it, and where the hell is she? I told him when I visited, that this was what she wanted. She wanted him there because she knew he would take the blame. She may not have been in his life for very long, but she damn well knows the right buttons to push to get him to do what she wants."

My blood boils just thinking about Evelyn. Anger shoots throughout my body when I think about what she's doing and what she's done. She's stolen Tobias's entire future right from his hands, and he's letting her. And as much as I love the man... I don't understand why he's allowing her to do so.

"I want to get him out of there, I need to. But the more I push, the more he pushes back. And all the while, it feels as though I'm trying to save someone who needs saving, but doesn't want to be saved."

I know Tobias doesn't want this. I know he doesn't want to be in chains behind prison bars wearing orange. I know he doesn't. But at the same time, I think he feels trapped. Between the reality he's living right now, and the alternative of his mother living it instead. He's sacrificing himself for her... and all I can ask is why?

"I think when it comes down to it," Tori speaks up again, breaking me of my wandering thoughts. "the choice has to come from him."

"What choice?" I ask her.

"Whether he wants to save himself or not. I think you and I and anyone can try as hard as we possibly can to get him to see what the right thing to do is, but until he himself sees that as the thing to do, he'll resist."

"I just want him to weigh all of the things in his life. I want him to figure out if Evelyn is worth everything he's giving up."

His career. His friends. His life. Me.

"I just want him to see everything wonderful he has, and that by protecting her... he isn't gaining a thing. He's losing it all."

Tori sighs, and reaching out she rests her hand on top of my own.

"He'll see the light Tris, I know he will. Sooner or later he'll come to his senses and he'll realize that the choice he's making right now isn't the right one. He just needs time."

Time... a healer of so many wounds but the creator of so many as well. How much longer can I stay on this path of trying to get him to see the light? How long can I hold out hope that the charges will get overthrown on their own? How long can I keep holding out hope on Tobias to see that his mother might not be in his life like he wants... but I am.

Only time will tell... and I pray it's sooner than I think.

A/N: A short filler chapter for you all! The next chapter will hopefully be longer (fingers crossed) and I'm planning for it to be another Tobias POV! 😊