26: Life & Death

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Eventually, after what felt like forever, the siren from outside stopped.

When it did, I immediately shot up into a standing position, anxious. I carefully stepped over to the exit, and peeked out of the door's window. Outside, there were hardly any walkers around; I guess they had wandered off when the siren stopped.

I watched for a minute or so longer, just to make sure everything was truly safe, before I cracked open the door and carefully slipped outside. The sun blinded me for a few seconds, as I had been sitting in pitch darkness for a good half hour.

I didn't see any walkers when I began walking around, looking in every direction with my knife raised. I figured everything was back to normal, that the group had taken care of most of the walkers. Even though I had no idea where they came from, I was just glad that they were, for the most part, gone.

After I cleared the area, taking out a few stray walkers, I began running back to our cell block to make sure everyone was okay. But, before I could make it there, I heard what sounded like someone crying.

I turned, and slowly made my way to the sound, afraid of what I was going to find. When I finally came around a corner, I found out where the crying was coming from, and the sight before me made me want to cry myself.

Out of all the people in our group, I didn't expect the one who was lying on the ground, sobbing relentlessly in agony, to be Rick.

Off to the side of him, I saw Maggie cradling a moving bundle of blankets in her arms, crying into Glenn's shoulder. I was able to put two-and-two together, combined with the fact that Lori was missing, to figure out what had happened.

I watched Rick's breakdown from afar, too shocked and frightened to get any closer. I didn't know what to do; seeing him sobbing on the ground, hiding his face in his hands, and knowing everything he'd done for us, how strong he'd been... it was heartbreaking. It was as if all the worry, stress, fear, and whatever else he'd been feeling for the past year just came crashing down on him in that one moment.

I didn't even notice that Dad was kneeling down in front of me until he was snapping his fingers directly in front of my face.

"Sid? 'Ay, you good?" he asked, snapping his fingers once more before I finally looked at him. I didn't know what to say, so I just nodded my head, biting my lip to keep my expression as calm as possible.

"You don't look too good," he said, scanning me with his eyes for any visible injuries.

I still couldn't form any words, for some reason. I guess it was a combination of shock, worry, and the fact that Rick's agonizing cries were still flooding the air. I tried to tell Dad that I was okay, but I couldn't make it past, "I." I kept on stuttering over the letter, and eventually I just gestured to Rick, and looked down at the pavement.

I heard Dad let out a sigh, looking at me with saddened eyes. "Come 'ere, girl," he said eventually. To my surprise, he placed a hand on my back and pulled me to him. He used the same hand to ruffle my hair a little bit, letting me put my head on his shoulder for a split second. I was a little startled by his action, so I didn't put my arms around him. Also, the act was over in about two seconds, meaning I didn't have time to anyway.

When I pulled apart from him, I looked at him with slight confusion. "What about the motto?"

Dad exhaled as he stood up to his full height, and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Well, Merle ain't exactly here, so... I say, to hell with the motto," he said, nodding his head once at me.

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