Chapter 19

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Ellie's P.O.V

"So tell me more about Ashley," I said as we sat down in front of the fireplace leaning on the couch and eating our ice cream. "I thought this was your day, not mine. Why do you wanna know about my deceased mate?" He asked as took a spoon of his ice cream. I shrug my shoulder. "Just curious," I said as I finished my ice cream and placed it aside. He remained silent as if he was not gonna tell me. My elbow was on the couch and I leaned my head on my hand. "OK then. It is my day after all so you have to do what I want right?" I asked innocently and he slowly turned his head to look at me. "Did you just use the birthday card on me?" He asked.

"Oh did I?" I said as I fake gasped then smiled. He laughed at my childish behavior.
"Well Ashley was a caring, thoughtful and peaceful individual," he started. "She's not like most girls who throw themselves at me or like some others who are carefree and wild. She was a gentle and fragile little soul that you have to be careful with. And I had no problem with it. I was always glad to take care of her. Ashley as a said hated people who fought. Even if it's just training," he chuckled as he looked at the fire as if reliving a memory.

"I remember this one time when Christian (future beta) and I were both trainings. I pinned him down on the ground while I had his hand behind his back and then Ashley came in and throw a fit. She would scold me over and over again about what fighting caused but would help Christian up of course. I tried to explain to her that we were only training but she wouldn't have it. In a way I was happy that she wasn't into fighting, she wouldn't hurt herself but in another way, I was upset because what if she has to fight to protect herself? We try not to train while she was around and it wasn't hard to hide from her when were training because she was always in the library getting lost in one of her books.

She would stay there the whole day and have me worried about her starving to death. I would have one of the pack's omegas bring her food every 3 hours and she accepted the offer so that put my mind at ease. She was very good to the pack members and was loved by them but she never really had any friends. She didn't like to socialize with people she doesn't know and she only socialized with the pack members because it is required of Luna. And she refers to staying indoors than going out and shopping like other girls and she loves to swim but she would only swim in the river with no one around. She wanted to be a librarian. It's silly I know but it's what she wanted and I wasn't gonna complain to her about it. If it's what she loves then so be it.

We never marked each other because she wanted to wait for that 'special moment' and still I didn't have any problem with it. I just needed to keep my wolf at bay which was hard. He was frustrated I'll tell you that, but he didn't want to upset her so he tried his best," he continued but he still looked at the fireplace and smiled as he ate his ice cream. But that small smile slowly turned into a frown.

"The day she died was the worst day of our lives. The pack lost its Luna... and its alpha in one day and I lost my mate, the love of my life, my sunshine. No one knows how the fire started and I didn't care how it started, all I knew was that my mate was gone," he said as he turned to me and a tear dripped from his eyes. Without thinking I wiped that tear away and rubbed my thumb on his cheek.

"I'm sorry you went through that," I said to him as I leaned forward a bit. "The worst part is... I felt alone and everyone knew but they didn't know how to help me," he added and I pulled him into my embrace. He hugged me back immediately and I felt a shiver go down my spine. I ignore it of course. After I pulled back he quickly wiped his remaining tears and smiled at me afterward. He was about to speak but I cut him off, "You don't have to pretend your ok just to make other around you stop feeling sad or stop pitying you. At least you don't have to do that with me. I know you want to celebrate the life she had but that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt to move forward," I said and he release a sigh.

"I will. As long as you do the same with me," he said and I narrowed my eyebrow in confusion. "You say you smile so that others leave you alone but I think you're wrong. I think you smile because it's your way of crying out for help. You want to let people in, you just don't know how they will react to the pain you are in. You may not be an open book Ellie but slowly to me at least you begin to be," he added and it was my turn to sigh.

"I would like to get to know you better Ellie Hudson," he said as a small smile made its way to his lips. "Now?" I asked him.

"Is that OK?" He asked and I thought about it. Would it be OK if I let myself feel again? To be normal again? To have a friend I can talk to? Would all that be OK?

Of course, it won't be. He's playing you. Can't you see that?

He's only playing you, Ellie. End this ridiculous friendship that you're starting to build with him and go back to being the way you were.

Cold and empty

The voice in my head keeps putting things in my head and maybe just maybe it is right. But I would never know. I use to take risks. Take a chance and now I'm just a shell of the person I used to be. For once in a very long time, I'm gonna take a chance. For once I'm not gonna listen to the voice in my head.

"Yes that would be OK," I replied and smiled at him. He narrowed his eyebrows at me but smiled back nevertheless. "OK then. Then it's a date," he said and I nod my head. Then I just registered what he said. "Wait what?" I asked. "I don't remember you asking me out," I added.

"So you want me to ask you out?"

"Well if you wanna take me out it's only fitting that you do it the right way, don't you think?" I questioned and he smiled. "OK," he said as he placed his ice cream aside and turned to face me. "Ellie Hudson, would you do me the honor of doing on a date with me tomorrow?" He asked me. I put on a thinking face as though I was thinking even though I already know the answer to it. "I'll consider it," was my response, and raised an eyebrow at me in questioning.

"You'll consider it?" He asked as if he didn't hear what I said. I got up and went to the kitchen and he followed me. "Yes I will consider it," I answered as I turned to face him after I threw away the plastic cup the ice cream was in, in the garbage. "But you said that it was OK if I got to know you better," he said with his eyebrows narrowed. "I did but you didn't ask me on a date then," I said with a smile which he returned slowly.

"That smile," he said. "What?" I asked

"Your smile. Don't see it often," he said and I lowered my head. "Well, that's because there weren't many things to smile about for the past three years," I said. My head still lowered until he used his index finger to lift it.

"Which is why I'm glad, I happened to be the one who made that smile come back," he said in a whisper as he looked straight into my eyes. And somehow his eyes just got brighter than it was. Or am I just seeing things? He took a step closer before he asked "Would you like to go out with me?" 

And that's when I said, "Yes,"

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Izzy

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