Wasted all my time on him

My boyfriend is leaving again 😭😭😭

Chapter 30.......
I don't want him to leave because I love him but maybe this would be good for me to get back In love with him . Because honestly I don't know where I stand with hunter is he a best friend or more than that right now? I can't just have two boyfriends and I'm going crazy so I should open up to my boyfriend before he leaves I just don't want to hurt him I'm scared and I have no clue what I'm doing with my life . Andrew- what's up with you you're acting different. Me - I just got a lot of things running through y mind right now is all I look at the ring it's beautiful 😍 I'm in love with it but can we get our sparks ⚡️ back or is everything just gonna fall apart. Andrew- okay do you want to talk about it ?! Me - it's not you it's me ....I just...uh I hate this I don't even know how to tell ya because I just don't wanna loose you or breakup but we definitely lost our sparks ⚡️ with us two when we hang out together it's not there anymore it's like there's nothing there but if I'm with hunter it's the other way around...I guess I'm saying that I like him but I'm not in love with him he's my favorite celebrity seeing him in person is crazy I don't know we hang out together and it's amazing. Andrew- so have ya been catching feelings for him ? He glares at me as I help him pack up his stuff . Me - I need time to just figure this out I have no clue how I feel but I'm not in love with you anymore even tho I love you does it make any sense at all? Andrew sighs - yes it does make sense and I'm in love with ya so when ya just said that it really hurt my feelings because I put a ring on ya finger for that reason like and ya said yes because you're not in love with me but ya wanna be or what ? Me - yeah I wanna be I'm not there yet but I almost am . Andrew- don't play with mine or his heart just pick who makes ya happy and I think till you're in love with me then ya should just give me the ring back and we can take a small break but not see other people me - okay I guess that's fine I'll drop ya off at the airport now grab your stuff let's just go he nods and walked to the car crying. I'm crying now omg this is a mess why can't I just be in love with him . I felt sooo bad for him because I love him and I want the best for him rather it's me in the end or not . I drop Andrew off at the airport no kiss goodbye 👋 just a hug and he was gone . I drove back home crying my eyes out without my man or my ring it hit me hard . A small break that's his choice I guess I'm just hoping he's okay on that ride to Afghanistan because if he's not then it's all because of me I feel like it's the end of the world 🌎 does this actually mean that I'm in love with him ? Idk !!!!!! When I got back home Kayla was sitting on my bed waiting for me holding a ice coffee from Starbucks in her hand and a cake pop that's cookie dough- breakups suck here I got you food . Me - hunter already took me but thank you. Kayla- what do ya mean by hunter took ya?! When ?! Me - well I was at Starbucks when u told me the sad news so I rushed back home then I opened up to him about hunter like how I feel about him and hunter to blah blah blah then he took the ring said we are on a small break I gotta find out more like who I wanna be with he said then I took him to the airport. Kayla- I'm so sorry ash but it's better for you and him to have a small break even if it sucks but you two didn't break up. Me - I just really don't want to hurt him I keep hurting him it just sucks. Kayla- I know things will turn around I think ya just got to listen to ya heart not what ya head wants like ya head says hunter but ya heart definitely doesn't right now I can tell. I take the Starbucks and drink it - lets just watch a movie or something okay I am done talking about it . I sniff my pillows they smell just like him and I freakin love it and I'm just wondering how he's doing right now up in the airplane ✈️ hoping that he's got a safe ride all the way there . Kayla- oh shit I dropped all the popcorn 🍿 I laugh at her - you should definitely pick that up wouldn't want mice in my freakin bedroom!!!!!