Sweet and Innocent (Demi Lovato)

Chapter 38

Wilmer and I walk hand-in-hand with the kids running ahead, excited to get to the park. When they reach the swings, Lilly helps Gabriel get on and pushes him, not too much. Nevvy swings next to them and quickly pumps her legs.

When Wilmer and I get to the park, we sit on a bench to watch the kids playing. We love seeing them so happy.

As a few dark clouds start to roll in, I wonder if we should start heading home. It looks as though it's raining in the distance, and I really don't want to walk home in the rain. I look to Wilmer but notice he isn't on the bench. I look at the kids; he isn't there either. I also note that Lilly is no longer helping Gabriel on the swing.

Looking around, I don't see Lilly anywhere. Was I really so caught up in my bliss that I didn't notice them leave.

I walk over to Nevvy and Gabriel, asking them where Wilmer and Lilly went. They reply with, "I don't know,"  and continue to keep playing. I start to get worried. I noticed the sky getting darker, and by the time I look back at the kids, Nevvy's gone too.

"You aren't going to leave me now, are you?" I ask Gabriel.

He hugs me, then slowly he begins to fade away, leaving me alone, drenched from the storm, tears streaming down my face.

---

At 5 in the morning, I wake up crying. Knowing I won't be able to fall back asleep, I get out of bed and make my way to the music room.

Sitting down on the piano bench, I look at the keys, blurry through my tears. I know Gabriel wasn't my baby, but my heart aches like he was. I lightly press a note on the piano. Unlike usual, no melody comes to my mind. I don't think I can write now.

I get off the piano bench and walk from the music room to the patio door. The sky is still dark, but I don't bother turning on the patio lights. I open the door and step outside. The air is quite humid, but almost chilly. I sit in the dark, on the step that transitions the patio to the yard.

I think about how Gabriel will never see a night sky; he'll never see anything, because he's dead.

Looking up, I see Wilmer walk out onto the patio and sit beside me. Silence surrounds us. I blink back my tears and wipe my eyes before looking at Wilmer. The silence is too haunting for me to speak. This moment needs to be quiet; we need this time to mourn and ponder our circumstances.

After a while, Wilmer takes in a breath. "Are you okay, Demi?"

I sniffle before opening my mouth. "It shouldn't hurt this bad," I say. "He wasn't even ours."

Wilmer doesn't reply. Scooting closer to me, he drapes his arm over my shoulder. "We'll get through this," he whispers.

We stay like that for a few minutes before going back inside. It's too late to try to go back to sleep, so we sit and talk in our bedroom. We talk about our life together, the girls, Lizzy, and Gabriel. If it's this hard for us, I wonder what Lizzy is feeling. I want to text her, but I don't know if I can handle being strong for her right now.

Wilmer goes to wake up Lilly and Neveah just after 7:30 since Neveah has another appointment this morning. He agreed to take her again so that Lilly and I can keep practicing for my concert.

Yes, both the girls are still sleeping in Lilly's bed together. I've asked if Neveah would like to sleep in another one of our bedrooms, but she's refused; she feels safe with her sister, which makes sense, because they've been through a lot together.

We eat breakfast together, then Neveah and Wilmer leave for her appointment.

"Do you want to start practicing right away?" I ask Lilly once they've left.

She nods, so we go to the music room to practice. She's gotten so good at the chords that I play the music off my phone, and she manages to play along. Sure, there are a few mistakes, but we work through them and soon she's doing it with ease. I am really proud of her and glad that she enjoys music so much. It's hard to believe she isn't our child by blood.

My single will  be released in three days, and the GMA interview and performance is that day as well. Tomorrow, we have a practice with the whole band set up. I wonder how Lilly will play with them.

After our practice, I let her go up to her room to play, so I can have a Skype meeting with my team. We talk about the performance and interview.

Wilmer and Neveah come back right after my meeting, and Neveah goes upstairs to play with Lilly. Wilmer sits beside me in the living room.

"Her parents are being taken to court," he says.

"Really? That's great! When?"

"Next week Friday, so three days after your performance."

"I'm assuming Neveah will be there, but what about Lilly?"

"She's supposed to come as well. They want as much proof as they can get." He leans back, sighing deeply.

---

Today is the day that my single will be released to the world. I feel unprepared for it this time, bringing me worry over my career. What if my mental health starts to decline again, and my career becomes troubled?

My fans are obviously excited when I give them the news a few hours before. My phone doesn't stop beeping; I mostly ignore it.

Lilly is completely and totally ready to play on the Good Morning America stage today, albeit she is quite nervous. My hair and makeup team come over to get both of us ready. Lilly's never had her makeup done professionally, and she seems to like it. We head out once we're ready. Wilmer and Neveah will be backstage watching.

I have my interview first and during that time, Lilly is with Wilmer, Neveah, and the band backstage. I feel nervous for her, not for myself, and I hope everything goes well.

"Now, introducing Demi Lovato performing her new single, 'Faithful'!" the announcer says.

I step up onto the stage, looking at Lilly sitting by the piano with my usual piano player.

"Thank you all so much for coming; I really hope you enjoy. And, Lilly, my daughter, is playing piano with the band, so, cheer her on, too!" I say into the microphone.

It feels great to perform again. I missed my Lovatics and their cheers, but I can't ignore the glimpse of sadness that isn't going away. After the performance is finished, we all go back home. I hope someday thinking of Gabriel won't hurt this much anymore.