Sweet and Innocent (Demi Lovato)

Chapter 42

Demi's POV

Reading the texts from Lizzy's friend immediately puts me in panic mode. I get dressed quickly, then head downstairs to tell Wilmer that we need to leave. As soon as I say we need to go, he calls my mom to arrange dropping the girls off, then we leave. I'm so lucky to have someone who understands me as well as he does. 

I know that the girls like my mom, so it makes me feel less guilty about bringing them there anytime it would be inconvenient to have them around.

Wilmer and I arrive at the hospital just over 20 minutes after leaving the house. We make our way to the front desk, but before we can say anything, Lizzy's friend approaches us. I'd met her once before, so I know who she is.

"Lizzy's this way," she says.

"You're not family," Wilmer notes. "Why would they let you see her?"

"I'm actually her cousin," she replies. "I'm her only close family member, so they have to let me see her." She leads us to a room on the second floor. "You can go in; I'm going to get myself some coffee."

I ask Wilmer to stay outside the room for a moment, then step inside.

Lizzy is lying in the hospital bed covered in bandages. I think I know what happened, but I don't want to assume anything. She slowly opens her eyes, stirring a bit.

"Lizzy?" I ask. "What happened?"

She doesn't say anything, but instead starts whimpering as tears roll down her cheeks.

The few footsteps to her bedside feel longer than they are, and when I finally reach her, I bring her into me, letting her cry into my shoulder.

"I'm here for you now," I comfort in a quiet voice. I feel a hot tear roll down my cheek. It hurts me to see her in so much pain, even if I don't know her very well.

I don't know how much time we spent in that position, but Lizzy's cousin, Raine, came back into the room and asked if she could talk to me outside. I released Lizzy from my grip and saw her tear-stained face had started to relax.

Outside the hospital room, I ask Raine what had happened to make Lizzy end up in the hospital in such bad shape.

"You should know," she says. "It's your fault!"

"Why would it be my fault?" I ask.

"I'm sorry," she replies, seeing how defensive I am. "I really don't blame you; I blame that awful man, Mark. The abusive relationship messed her up, and her losing the baby on top of that... she just couldn't handle it. She tried to kill herself."

It was what I assumed had happened, but I still feel awful having it come from Raine's mouth. "It's hard," I say. "Once you're in an abusive relationship, it's hard to know what real love is, and it's hard to not go back."

"I don't know how to help her."

"I'll stay for a while. I was the one who convinced her to keep the baby; I'm partially responsible for all this," I reply.

"And then what?" she asks.

"Send her somewhere to get help. Sure, being in a relationship is good, but if she can't love and care for herself, then she'll keep falling back into toxic relationships."

"I'll find somewhere to send her," Raine says.

I walk to the waiting room where Wilmer is sitting. "Go back to the girls," I tell him. "I think I'll stay here for a while; she needs my help."

"Are you sure?" Wilmer asks. "I can stay if you need."

"The girls need you, so you should go be with them."

Wilmer agrees and hugs me tight before leaving the hospital.

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I sleep in the hospital room that night. Raine seems absolutely exhausted, so I send her home to shower and change her clothes. It takes some convincing, but I tell her that she needs to take care of herself if she wants to properly support Lizzy.

By the time midnight rolls around, I'm still not asleep. Lizzy isn't either, though, and I don't want to be unavailable to someone so broken, even if she still hasn't said anything to me.

Just as I'm almost asleep, I hear mumbling from the hospital bed.

"Why doesn't anyone love me?" Lizzy's voice is quiet and cracks with her words. There are obviously deep-rooted issues behind this suicide attempt.

"Lizzy," I say, slowly getting up and walking toward her, "are you okay?" Sometimes, the best thing to offer is a listening ear, so that's all I say.

"I wish the baby didn't die," she whispers. "I'm the one who deserved it; no one cares for me. You would have loved that baby, and he would have been happy."

"Everything happens for a reason, Lizzy," I reply. "You aren't supposed to die yet. And it may feel like no one loves you, but you are loved. You're loved by Raine, by myself and Wilmer, by God..."

"Really though? Raine's only here because the rest of my family hates me."

"Then why doesn't she?" I ask.

"Because... because she promised my grandma she'd look out for me before she died. The rest of my family ignores me."

"Your grandma still loves you, just like your baby loves you. They just aren't here on Earth to show it." I try to give her pieces of comfort that have helped me over the years, but I realize that I don't know anything about her beliefs.

"The baby doesn't love me; I killed him."

"You don't know what killed him," I say. "Do you want to hear a story?"

She shrugged her shoulders, so I continued.

"When I was a teenager, I had an eating disorder, I self-harmed, I used drugs and alcohol, and I did a lot of other harmful things to my body. You might know that because I choose to share it with the world to help people. 

"Now, these things almost killed me many times, and they ruined my body. I was told that I could never carry a baby to term. What most of the world doesn't know is that I was pregnant. Wilmer and I were very excited. We hadn't been sure if I could ever get pregnant, even though the doctors hadn't said anything yet.

"One night, though, I was in a lot of pain and Wilmer took me to the hospital. The doctors said that my body was unfit to carry a child and that it had died. I had a stillborn baby, just like you did. The difference is, if you ever want more kids, you probably still can. 

"I wanted to give up. I felt depressed, and I relapsed into most of my bad habits. But, then I realized that I was throwing my life away. Just because I couldn't have kids, didn't mean my own life was worthless. I listened to the same advice I just told you: everything happens for a reason. There are tons of children out there who don't have homes, and now I am the mother to two of them.

"Lizzy, there is always hope."

Lizzy says, "But you had Wilmer."

"Maybe so, but you have Raine, you have me, and you have yourself; you are so much stronger than you think."

"Thanks Demi," Lizzy lies back down, "but I don't think I'll ever have a happy ending."

"I promise you that you will, even if it's not what you think you want. Now, as soon as you're healthy enough to leave, Raine and I are taking you to rehab. Please send me letters; I want to hear from you." I hugged Lizzy and let her cry into my shoulder for a few moments, then walked over to my makeshift bed and got ready to fall asleep.

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Sorry that this chapter took so long, but I hope it's worth it! Thanks for reading!