Paralyzed | Malec

Chapter 36

Hello everyone! I am so sorry that it took me so long to upload again... I had so much coursework to do so last week was dedicated to that! I hope you guys had a less stressful week than I had! I also enjoy this chapter! Thank you so much for 19k readers on Paralyzed and we are already close to 20k.... YOU GUYS ARE HONESTLY AMAZING! Thank you!!!!
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After the burial was over, a lot of shadowhunters came to me to pay their respect. They told me stories about my mother that I didn't even know about. It made me feel like she was a stranger to me at this point. I swallowed when I saw Chris walking towards me. He looked at me and just smiled weakly at me.

"I won't say sorry for your loss because you probably have heard this for like hundredth time." He said with a smile and I chuckled softly as I wiped one of my tears away. I nodded to answer what he was saying.

"But I will say that I am here for you." He said as he put his hand on my shoulder. I looked at him and nodded.

"Thank you." I said softly as I looked into his eyes. He came closer to me and pulled me into a tight hug.

"It seemed like you needed it." He whispered into my ears and I closed my eyes tightly as I held onto him. The tears started to burn in my eyes. I let him go and smiled at him.

"You are welcome." He said before I could even thank him. Chris nodded at me before he walked away from me and behind him, Samuel appeared.

He looked saddened but most of all baffled. I didn't think he knew what he had to say to me. He pulled me into a hug and I smiled. When he let go off me, he looked at me.

"I am so sorry." He said and I looked down as I nodded my head. I didn't know what to answer back to it. Was I suppose to say that it was fine because it wasn't...

It was just an awkward position to be put in. 

"Your song was so beautiful." Alexis said as she pushed her nephew away from me. Samuel looked angrily at Alexis but didn't say anything.

"It wasn't mine." I said with a smile. Alexis's smile faded away but she quickly changed her facial expressions and hugged me.

"I am always here for you." She said as she held onto me tightly. I smiled as I nodded. She let me go and now Charlotte looked at me.

"I know we haven't spoken so much but I am here for you." She said with a smile and I nodded. I sighed softly when all of them left.

The entire hall was now empty. Alec had to go to his office and my father had to speak to another client. I was left alone here. Somewhere that wasn't familiar to me at all.

I looked at the hall and saw the images of my mother being murdered in front of my eyes flashing. I opened my eyes again and exhaled sharply. I was never going to be able to live with this.

"Why did you have to leave me?" I asked as some tears streamed down my cheeks. I felt like I needed to blow something up. I wanted to hurt someone or break something.

I felt this enormous power in my veins. It was something I couldn't explain. I felt this when my mother got murdered and when I wanted to hurt Lucifer but this time, it came back stronger. I don't know what it was.

Was it my warlock side becoming stronger or was I just losing control over my powers? Was it consuming me?

I held my head as I squeezed my eyes shut. I needed this to end. I wanted all of this to end... I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't bare this pain... I couldn't deal with anything of this. It was too much.

"This is too much..." I said softly too myself as I opened my eyes again. I gasped when I thought that Lucifer was standing in front of me.

I felt my heart beating faster. The adrenaline was getting more and more by each second. I put my arms down as I saw Lucifer's appearance fading away in front of me. I heard him laugh. I heard him laugh so loudly that my head started to hurt.

"Get out of my head!" I shouted. I didn't even knew if this was real. Was this even real or was my grieve getting to my head right now?

"Join me." I heard his voice say and I squeezed my eyes shut as I shook my head.

"Leave me alone." I said and I heard Lucifer evilly laughing again. His laugh radiated an energy that I couldn't explain. It was making me angry. It was making me stronger.

"Not until you join me." He said again and I clenched my teeth as I opened my eyes.

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!" I screamed loudly and there was blue lightening coming out of my arms. I recognised this. It was my power's colour...

Mine was blue... My father's was yellow/goldish.

I felt the power release from my body which made me feel relieved. I closed my eyes as I enjoyed the feeling of it. I could feel the institute shaking slightly and a second after it, the alarm went off.

"Good. Let it in." I heard Lucifer say and I could feel something crawling underneath my skin. It made me feel stiff as if I hadn't control over my own body.

"Ella!" I heard Chris's voice shout. I turned myself around as I looked at him. The power was still radiating off me but somehow, it wasn't getting on him.

"Stop." He said as he looked at me. I looked at him as I gasped.

"I-I can't." I stuttered. Chris was looking around to something that was going to stop me but there was nothing. He stepped a bit closer to me but I held my hand up where my magic almost attacked him this time.

"Don't come closer to me. I am not in control. I will hurt you." I said desperately as I looked at him. Chris frowned at me in confusion as he still walked closer to me.

"You won't hurt me." He said as he was now standing in front of me. He held me by my shoulders as I looked at him.

"Calm down." He said and I shook my head.

"I can't." I breathed out.

"I can't control." I said and he shook his head.

"You can. You need to calm down." He said as held me tightly. The institute was still shaking and at this point, I could still hear Lucifer nagging near my ear.

"Leave me alone, Lucifer." I said as I sighed and looked away from Chris.

"Lucifer?" Chris asked confused as he looked at me. I looked at him and nodded.

"He is in my head. I can hear him." I said.

"Focus on my voice." Chris said as he held onto my face.

"Ella." I heard Alec say as he came in the hall. I looked at him and saw my father standing next to him. I moved away which caused Chris to be hit by my power. He fell on the ground as he grunted.

I gasped and heard Lucifer laughing loudly.

"Give in." He said slowly and I held my head with my hands as I was squeezing my eyes shut.

"Go away!" I shouted. I gasped and looked up.

"Give in!" He shouted.

"Will it be over?" I asked.

"Ella!" My father shouted.

"Focus on my voice." Chris quickly said as he stood up and ran towards me. I looked at him and felt something taking me over.

"Hey." He said softly as he held my face with his massive hands. His eyes were piercing into mine and I could see that he was afraid.

"Focus on my voice." He said and I could feel myself calming down as I tried focusing on his voice. The shaking of the institute stopped and I saw the colour of my magic fading away.

I couldn't hear Lucifer anymore. He was gone.

"That's good." He said as he smiled. I looked at him and could feel myself almost giving in.

"Your okay." He said as he gave me a hug. Shocked, I looked down as I was hugging him. Lucifer almost got to me...