Jily one shots

Obviously not obvious

Disclaimer: written by @Colie88

It was official.

Lily Potter had the MOST dense husband around! Seriously, how could someone who'd been one of the top five in every class for seven years be so stupid? She'd tried everything to tell him her news without actually saying anything for a WEEK.

First, she tried giving him a mini quidditch set that could only be looked at. He thought it was neat and spent the four hours afterwards staring at the tiny zooming people on brooms. Lily had sat in the chair, arms crossed, shaking her head for the first hour before she'd given up.

The next night, Lily had specifically mentioned Christmas (even though it was still two months away), saying that Santa had paid them an early visit and left a present for them. Of course, that had totally gone over James' head because he didn't quite get the Santa reference. So that was her fault...

Her third try, she had made home made sticky buns from scratch and baked them in the oven. Then she opened the door while they had a few minutes left and asked James what it looked like.

"A desert? Looks great! Can't wait to try it, Lils," he said after glancing at it with a shrug. She wanted to scream. Seriously? THAT was his response?

She was almost at her wits end the next night. She cooked dinner. Baby carrots, baby corn, baby back ribs, peas still in the pod (her hope had been that would be obvious) and for desert had made mini cupcakes. James ate every bite of it and then complained he was so full he wouldn't fit into his pants soon if she kept cooking like that.

"I won't fit into mine soon either," she had added.

"Maybe you should stop cooking so well so we dont have to worry about it," James had said.

Lily had given him a tight smile before announcing she was going to shower, ALONE.

The next morning,she made cookies. Little booties and colored them with blue and pink frosting. After lunch that day, she offered them to James.

"Little early for christmas cookies, isn't it? And they aren't even the right color." he had said as he bit into one.

Lily decided that he didn't even deserve a response to that. She had no more ideas left.. she really didn't. What else was she supposed to do? She wanted it to be a fun way to tell him, but he wasn't getting any of her hints! Obviously, she was going to have to just outright tell him.

With that decided, Lily set off to find him the next morning when she woke. He was sitting in the kithen, in boxers no less, drinking coffee if the smell was any indication and reading the paper.

"James," Lily said

"Hmm?"

"James, I have something to tell you," Lily said again

He looked at her over the top of his paper. "Well? You've never not said what's on your mind before,"

"I'm late." She started. Now she realized that if he'd gotten all her hints, she wouldn't be trying to indirectly directly tell him... And was that even possible, indirectly, directly telling someone something?

"Better get going then, shouldn't you? You're still in night clothes." James said with a frown.

"No.. not...not that kind of late. Another type."

James sighed and put his paper down. "What's wrong, Lily? You're being cagey."

"I'm going to get even worse in the next few months," she told him. There that was a start.

"What? Are you sick? Do you need to go see a healer? Is that what you're telling me?" James asked alarmed.

"W..hat? No! NO! Well.. sorta.."

"Lily! How could you hide the fact that there is something wrong with you from me?" James asked, standing and grabbing her shoulders. He looked her over. "How long have you been sick? It could be posion!"

"what? No.. no. James..it's nothing li-"

"Nothing? Nothing? My wife tells me she needs to see a healer because shes been acting weird and doesn't know why and I'm supposed to just say that's alright?"

"It better be alright! You're the one that made me this way!" Okay, so she'd helped..but that was besides the point at the moment.

"Lily! I'd never poison-"

"JAMES!" Lily said loudly, even though they were two feet apart. "I'm not sick with some sort of potion or poison. Or even a spell gone wrong."

"Then what the hell are you trying to tell me, because I'm confused now."

Lily smiled. "James Potter, you are the most dense man I've ever met."

He frowned. "Lily..."

"James," She wrapped her arms around his neck. "We're going to have a baby,"

He stared at her. And stared. Long enough to make Lily nervous and retreat, removing her arms. Only he didn't let her get that far before swinging her up into his arms and around the kitchen, laughing. Then he kissed her.

"Don't scare me like that again!" he said after.

"Well, if you'd gotten my hints, I wouldn't have-"

"Hints?" James frowned at her, then she saw realization cross his face. "So.. all that stuff...the cookies, dinner, the little sports thing..buns...you were trying to tell me?"

She nodded and James rolled his eyes. "You married a maruader and the best you could come up with were those hints?"

"Oh, so you would have wanted Sirius and Remus and Peter to know first?" Lily grinned.

"Bloody hell no."

"Then yes, that's the best I could do,"

James snorted and then kissed her again. "Come, Mrs. Potter. We have some private lessons to go over before I go knock down my mates' door with the news and how exactly you tried to tell me."

"Hey!" She swatted him playfully. "I didn't do that bad of a job!"

"Pathetic," James shook his head as he carried her towards their bedroom. "Utterly pathetic, Potter."

Lily laughed and rolled her eyes, knowing she'd never win that argument.