Mia Jones was the sole witness to a devastating tragedy that changed her life forever. With that change came a new perspective on life. She's very pro-black (which isn't a bad thing), she doesn't trust easily, and she's been very uptight and protect...
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(Mia^) I was sitting on the couch in the living room reviewing some of my photography when Alicia, my roommate, exited her room with her "lil boo thang" Raymond. I couldn't help but shake my head at the sight of those two carrying on like a couple when they weren't. Raymond was getting the boyfriend treatment from Alicia while never having to commit to her.
I hated that Alicia couldn't see that Ray was stringing her along. Ray knew he didn't have to commit to Alicia and I couldn't stand knowing that my best friend was being used like this. I knew that Alicia deserved way better than what Ray was offering her, I just wished she knew that too.
Every time I asked Alicia what her relationship status was, she would always down play it by saying something along the lines of, "oh we're just talking right now" or it's "complicated". How complicated did it have to be if they've been talking for more than 8 months now? I knew it wasn't my place to judge Alicia and that's why I kept most of my thoughts to myself. But how much more time do they need to learn about one another in order to decide if they wanted to commit? That just never made sense to me. And honestly, since I've never had a real boyfriend, I couldn't truly understand what made a woman stay in a situation where they knew it wasn't right for them.
Dating was complicated and that's why I've avoided doing it for so long. But more recently, Alicia has been pushing for me to test the waters out. But for good reasons, I'm hesitant.
For one, Ididn't understand some of the unsaid dating rules that our society placed on us.
Number 1) The Texting Rule: You can't be caught dead texting the guy first. Texting too quickly, shows that you're over eager to commit but texting too late shows a lack of interest. Why does it have to be so complicated? 🙄
Or
Number 2) The Social Media Rules: trying to interpret whether all of those likes you've just received are because the guys interested in you or he's just being a creep. Or lets talk about the whole, being social media "official". If you two have a mutual agreement to be together but your partner refuses to make it known publicly, is it even real? Should I be offended?
And lastly, (although I could keep going on and on)
Number 3)The one that confuses me the most is the idea that defining the relationship is taboo. We're okay with following the dating formula which is: meet a nice person, get their number and take them out, get to know them better, talk and enjoy each other for a few months, maybe even have sex. But then the final step of commitment shows up and they run for the hills. Relationships with titles hold us accountable and people aren't ready for that even though they're okay with doing every other step of the dating process, up until the commitment. 🤦🏾♀️
I don't know everything about dating and I don't pretend to know. In fact, I would say I'm a novice in that field. But one thing I do know is that dating the wrong person can cause insecurities and irrational thoughts to manifest themselves. And sadly, I've watched first hand, as Raymond uses Alicia's insecurities to gaslight her into thinking she's overstepping boundaries. If Alicia even attempts to ask him a question about their relationship, he makes her feel overly clingy or crazy.
