Torn 🤎 (Completed)

Chapter 3: The Preparation

Mia 💛

Joshua left my house a couple of hours ago and now, here I was, sweating bullets down my none existent ball sacks while trying to figure out what to wear on my blind date tonight. I still had to confront Mia over what I'd found earlier but right now, I didn't have the time to even think about that, especially since she hadn't come home yet. 

For tonight, Alicia's advice was to find something sexy to grab this guys attention but it couldn't be overly revealing. The problem with that suggestion was that I didn't own anything remotely in the realm of being "sexy." My wardrobe consisted of workout clothes, over-sized sweatshirts, and a whole lot of leggings. So, for almost an hour now, I'd wasted so much time searching through my closet and trying to piece together an outfit even though I knew the chance of finding something workable was bleak. And at this point, I felt hopeless. However, my clothes was my clothes and I needed to make due with what I had. So, after taking my time and shuffling through my closet, I eventually found something I deemed viable.

As far as this date went, apparently Alicia arranged for our date to take place at a fusion restaurant where hipster vibes met upscale dining. And to tell you the truth, I didn't know what that completely meant. I rarely went out to eat and when I did, it was at a fast food restaurant where I could grab something quickly and go. To top it off, I'd never been on a real date before. Yes, pathetic, I know. I was 25 and lacked any experience in the dating department. So imagine how nervous I was about this entire ordeal. Over the years, I can admit that I did myself a disservice by focusing ONLY on school and neglecting my social life. After Michael's death, I became consumed with the idea of being the perfect student so that I could honor my late older brother and make him proud. Except in the process, I forgot about myself. My therapist was trying to get me to understand that Michael was dead and I that I needed to live for myself. Meeting Alicia, opening up, and becoming really close friends was the first step of taking charge of my life. Now here I was, going on this date.

I appreciated Alicia so much. After meeting her, I've gotten out and done more things and I've met more people than I have in the past 6 or 7 years. And here I was, attempting to do something way out of my comfort zone. I can't begin to explain how many times I tried to talk myself out of going through with this date but then Alicia would reassure me that everything would be okay. Overreacting was one of my biggest flaws and I was working on that aspect of myself.

As I stood in front of the mirror, scanning over the black slacks and the loosely fitting ruffled blouse I found from the time I did service hours last summer, Alicia knocked lightly on my door before entering the room. She sauntered into the room with a pep in her step but slowed her step the moment she registered what I was wearing. Alicia's once jovial eyes took on a more weary as she eyed my outfit up and down. Instantly, the small bubble of confidence that I'd somehow mustered up, burst into tiny little shreds of doubt as I watched Alicia's face twist sourly with disgust.

"Nahhhhh...nope...this ain't cutting it Mia!" Alicia shook her head from side to side as she closed the gap between us. "And there you have it boys and girls, Mia has managed to find the ONE outfit in her closet that is guaranteed to have a man run away from you even if you offered them sex." Alicia snickered at my expense and I crossed my arms over my chest as I observed my look in the mirror.

"It's not that bad Alicia. Damn, you know how to rip my self-esteem to shreds." I commented while Alicia shook her head in response.

"Don't get it twisted Mia. You're beautiful as hell. All I'm say is if you want to have a lasting first impression on any guy, this ain't it." She pointed at my outfit. "Personally, I suggest you show off some of your killer curves girl! You workout hard enough so show him just enough skin to peek his interest." I looked down at my outfit. It had taken me so long just to find this one and I thought it would work.