Nothing but trouble

9. Twisting my words

I got myself comfortable on the couch. I felt weird to be here but it wasn't like it was anything new. I came here every other week. I sat on this couch and talked to the person across from me twice a month. I guess it was supposed to help and I think sometimes it does and other times I wonder what I'm even doing here.

"How has the last two weeks been?" Dr. Holland asked.

"Harlan had a friend over for the first time in awhile." I said not really knowing what else to say.

"And do you feel about that?"

"Well I wasn't home, I spent the night with Ava but I was happy he felt like he could have people over again. I hated that I was getting in the way of his life."

"This seems to be a pattern that you seem to see yourself as a burden to those around you. Why do you think that you are getting in the way of Harlan's life?"

"Because if it weren't for me things would be better. He would have a normal life and he'd probably have friends over all the time. He lost his best friend because of me. I know it was hard on him, he pushed a lot of his friends away after that."

"You do know that it wasn't your fault, right?"

I did, I knew that I couldn't take the blame for other people's actions but sometimes my brain messed with me. I just thought that if it weren't for me none of the events would've happened.

"Kieran and I got into a fight this week." I changed the topic.

"About?"

"We were supposed to have a night alone. You know with the fact that Kieran and my brother hate each other we don't get a lot of time just the two of us. So yesterday was supposed to be it but instead Kieran threw a party after making plans with me. I got mad but it ended up being that his friend threw the party against his wishes. We made up."

"So what did you do yesterday instead?"

"Well I went to the party, I wanted to show Kieran what he was missing."

Dr. Holland smiled slightly at that.

"And how was the party?"

"Well Kieran punched a guy so that will be fun to listen to about all the different versions of why he did it on Monday."

"Why did he punch a guy?"

"The guy was dancing with me and Kieran could see I was uncomfortable but the guy had a tight grip on me so he came over to intervene on my behalf."

I watched as she wrote something down. That always frustrated me. I wanted to know what she was writing down.

"You want to talk about that?" She asked.

"The guy? I mean it wasn't really anything big. I mean we have a history so he wasn't some stranger and I knew Kieran was there so it wasn't like anything was going to happen. I'm fine."

"Have you thought about opening up to Kieran?"

I had thought about it a couple times but ultimately I decided against it.

"Not really, I don't want to give him anymore reasons to get mad at my brother."

"You blame your brother?"

I shook my head. That definitely wasn't what I said.

"No you're twisting my words. I just said that because I know the relationship Kieran has with my brother. I know that even if he wasn't to blame he will see it that way and he will use that to continue the feud they have going. I don't want to be one of the reasons they fight."

"I wasn't trying to twist your words. I do think that you should try to open up to Kieran. If you don't want to share about the past than you definitely shouldn't force yourself but maybe try to talk about what makes you comfortable and what doesn't." She offered.

I never felt the need to have that conversation with Kieran because I felt safe with him. He never tried to push me further than I wanted to go and now he was always the one to stop us and try to take things slower. It was a fact that frustrated me constantly but I was happy to be with him no matter what pace we were going. I didn't need to sleep with Kieran to be happy with him.

I spent the rest of the appointment just talking about school and what else happened in the last two weeks. I could only talk about the past for so long until I got uncomfortable and had to do a subject change. My doctor never pushed after I made it obvious I didn't want to talk about something. That was something I always appreciated.

When the session was over I walked back to the car me and my brother shared and made my way to pick him up from practice.

When I drove into the parking lot I immediately found Harlan. He was leaning against Jaxons car as the two boys were huddled together talking.

They looked as if they were up to no good. And when it came to my brother I knew that to be basically always true.

I parked next to them and rolled down my window. The second I did their conversation stopped and all was quiet.

Like I said up to no good.

"What are you two up to?" I asked.

"Nothing." Harlan shook his head.

I could tell he was lying and I had a feeling I knew what they were up to. Harlan hasn't gotten back at Kieran for his last prank so I had a feeling him and his friends were planning something.

"You are an awful liar. When are you just going to let this dumb rivalry with you and Kieran go?"

"He's the enemy Jade."

"He's also your teammate." I argued.

"Why do you always defend him?" Harlan frowned.

"I do not." I denied.

Yes I tried to get both of them to let this thing go but it wasn't like I actively defended Kieran to my brother. I let Harlan hold onto his own opinions of Kieran.

"Yes you do, you are constantly trying to get me to leave him alone."

"Maybe because I'm looking out for you. You don't need to keep getting into fights and pulling all these pranks. You should just focus on school and the team, how are you guys supposed to go to states and win games if you and Kieran can't work together?" I explained.

"I'll drop it when he does."

And with that I knew no matter what I said nothing would change. Things would be so much easier if they just could get along.

A/n;

Sorry this is a day late but with the election and all the craziness of yesterday I didn't get around to uploading a chapter. But here it is for you guys.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and if you did don't forget to comment and vote!!

-Cora Leigh