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Louis

Something had been going on lately that made him absolutely mortified. Like last Tuesday after football practice. They were all in the locker room afterward to take a shower. Nothing strange with that.

His eyes fell on their team captain who had just taken off his clothes to hit the showers and Louis popped a boner from the sight.

His eyes grew wide in shock and he panicked. He grabbed his clothes and held them in front of himself to cover up his current situation and ran towards the door before anyone would notice.
"Louis? Aren't you gonna shower?" His best mate Stan yelled.

"I have to get home. Babysit. Bye!" Louis yelled back and rushed outside.

He ran all the way home and locked himself inside his room. What the hell was that? He was a thirteen-year-old hormonal teenager. Those things happened but not in a locker room filled with his teammates. That couldn't happen! They could get the wrong idea.

He was one of the popular kids in school. He was good at football and he played Danny in the school production of Grease. He had a lot of friends and the girls seemed to like him. That was all great, but there seemed to be something wrong with him. He wasn't attractive to any of the girls.

Instead, he caught himself checking out some of the guys in school. He cried himself to sleep almost every night, feeling ashamed. He couldn't be that. He couldn't even think of the word.

He wanted a normal life. A wife and some kids, a house with a white picket fence, and some boring job. Just like anyone else. If he ignored it it would go away. It was probably just a phase.

So he got himself a girlfriend. He just picked one randomly, one of the popular, cute ones. They paraded around in school as the new power couple and he felt like such a fraud but it was better this way.

He had his first kiss. It wasn't anything special about it. He didn't feel anything. Something was missing. He just wanted to cry but instead, he broke up with her, and a week later he was seeing someone else. He continued in the same pattern throughout the eighth grade. He dated someone for a couple of months and then he ended it and found someone new. He despised the reputation he got as the school's heartbreaker but he had to keep his facade so no one found out.

In ninth grade, he decided to get a permanent girlfriend instead and got together with Hannah. He liked her. She was a sweet girl and he played his part as a devoted boyfriend well.

He had become a great actor and a master in denial. He played football, hung out with the guys, and talked about girls and he had the perfect girlfriend. His grades were a disaster but he spends all his energy pretending to be someone else that he didn't keep up in school. He passed his classes but they would never get him into a good College. He didn't care.

When he and Hannah celebrated six months as a couple she told him that she wanted him to be her first. He cringed at the idea but thought that he might as well get it over with. He knew that it wasn't fair to her but what she didn't know didn't hurt her.

She informed him that her parents would be out on Saturday and he kind of panicked. So soon? That was three days away! He calmed himself down. He could do this. It was just sex. All teenagers craved sex. He wasn't an exception. He refused to be the exception.

He was determined to make it a special experience for her. She deserved it. He made sure that he had condoms and bought a couple of scented candles. He smelled them all in the store before he picked out a couple with a muskier scent that he liked. He never really liked that kind of flowery smell that most girl perfumes had.

He took a long shower on Saturday and spent a lot of time in front of the mirror. He was really nervous but that was just normal. He was sure that everybody was nervous about their first time.

Later that evening he showed up at Hannah's doorstep and she smiled and kissed him. They headed up to her room and he took out the candles and lit them.
"You're so romantic, Louis." Hannah smiled.

Was he? He had no idea. He didn't know who he was.
"I wanted your first time to be special."

"Our first time." Hannah smiled.

Yeah, whatever. He just wanted to get through this. He leaned down to kiss her and they started to remove each other's clothes. When they were down to their underwear they went to lay down. He made sure to take it slow even if he just wanted to rush things.

He took off her bra and kissed her breasts but that just felt wrong so he came up to kiss her mouth instead. He was still soft. That wasn't good.

A couple of minutes later he was fingering her and she seemed to like it. He was still soft. That was embarrassing. Her hand came to touch him there and she stopped and looked at him.
"What's wrong? Don't you wanna do this?"

"Of course. I'm just nervous and really concentrated on making you feel good." Louis smiled.

She removed his boxers and started to stroke him. Her small hand felt strange around his member. He took over himself and she started to kiss his neck instead. Okay, yeah, that could work. He closed his eyes and turned his head to the side so he could smell the scented candles instead of her perfume and it worked! He finally got an erection! He wanted to cheer out loud but he better makes use of it fast before it went away.

He reached for a condom and opened the package and rolled it on. He turned to look at her.
"Ready?"

She nodded her head with a smile and spread her legs so he rolled on top of her and pushed inside slowly, knowing that it would probably hurt for her.
"Okay?" He asked to make sure.

"Yeah." Hannah smiled.

So he started to push in and out slowly. He could feel himself starting to get soft again and panicked. He thought about Josh, their team captain showering in the locker room. He was fit and well hung. He gasped and moved faster. Hannah seemed to like it. Good. She helped herself out and a couple of minutes later she came. She squeezed him harder and he came as well, feeling relieved. He had done it!

He immediately pulled out and got rid of the condom before he laid down and hugged her close.
"That was amazing. I love you." Hannah cooed.

"I love you too." Louis answered automatically. He felt empty inside and he just wanted to cry. He hated himself.

He cuddled her until she moved away. Her parents were coming home soon so he got dressed and left. He made it home and locked himself inside his bedroom before he broke down.

He broke up with her a month later when he ran out of excuses why he couldn't have sex again. He broke her heart and he felt awful. He was such an asshole. He would be alone for the rest of his life.