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9

Louis

He knew it was all his fault for being such a coward. Of course, Harry didn't want to hide their relationship forever and he was right when he said that he wasn't ready.

When he went to football practice the day after he had run into Bruce and the guys he could see the looks they were giving him and he freaked. Having a gay kid on a football team wasn't always appreciated. He didn't want to be alienated.

That was why he didn't want to go on any more dates. Maybe he should have talked to Harry about his fears but that was too late now and Harry deserved better anyhow.

That didn't mean that he wasn't heartbroken. He was fucking miserable and all he could do was cry. Harry had told him that he loved him and he chickened out. He couldn't say it back and now he had lost him.

He couldn't concentrate on his classes and he sucked on the football field. He was just sad.

Niall barged into his room just as he was getting ready for his last practice before their Christmas break. He stopped in the doorway and Louis gave him an irritated glance.
"What?"

"Why are you so scared?" Niall asked softly.

The question caught him off guard completely.
"What?"

"Why are you so scared to come out? You told me." Niall asked again.

"That's different, and make no mistake. That was fucking nerve-wracking as well." Louis huffed.

"Why?" Niall question.

"It was different because you already know Harry and you know that he's gay. It was scary because I couldn't know for sure that you would be okay with me being gay anyhow." Louis answered honestly.

"So you're afraid that people wouldn't be okay with it, that they wouldn't accept you?" Niall asked.

"Not everyone is as accepting as you are and I love you for it. What if my family disowns me? What if I'm kicked out of the football team? What if people just throw hate on me?" Louis said with a trembling voice.

"Then fuck them! You are who you are Louis. You can't change that. Pretending to be something else will only make you miserable. You can't live a whole life like that! Choose happiness. Harry is a great guy and he loves you. He made you happy Louis. Why would you wanna turn your back on that? Grow some fucking balls!" Niall argued upset.

Louis stared at him and then he burst out laughing.
"Grow some balls? Oh my God, Niall. Priceless!"

"Well, I said a lot of stuff before that." Niall grinned. "Think about it."

"Yeah, thanks Ni." Louis answered with a sad smile. If things were that easy.

He headed to practice. His head was filled with thoughts and he was absent-minded and didn't do well at all. He missed the goal every time he got a chance to score. When they were finally done he was in a really bad mood. He dragged his feet and was the last one to enter the locker room. Almost everyone was already on their way. Louis kicked his shoes off and threw them at the locker with a loud bang.

Bruce, Steve, Russel, and Max came up to him. Great, the same guys who had seen him with his arm around Harry.
"Louis? Can we talk to you?" Bruce asked.

"Sure, what's up?" Louis asked.

"Ehm, are you okay? You seem so sad lately and no offense but you're not really your best out on the field." Bruce continued.

"I'm fine." Louis muttered.

They exchanged a look.
"Ehm, we haven't seen you with Harry anymore..." Max said.

Louis thought he might faint. They knew. We're they gonna beat him up?
"We don't hang out now."

"That's too bad. You looked really happy when we met the two of you." Steve said and Louis just shrugged his shoulders and looked down on the floor feeling absolutely petrified.

"Okay, I'm gonna cut the crap." Bruce said and Louis snapped his head up and stared at him in panic.

"We don't care about your personal life. No, that came out wrong. Of course we care. Ehm, we've seen you and Harry together a couple of times and it's okay Louis. Really. We're a team and we need you to be your best. We need that right foot of yours if we're gonna win the league." Bruce stated, blushing.

Louis just stared at them and then he took a deep breath.
"You don't care if I'm gay?" He asked and he couldn't believe he just said that.

"No."

"Not really."

"Nope."

"Absolutely not and I don't think any of the other guys would mind either and if they would give you shit they have to answer to me." Bruce said and smiled.

"We got your back." Max promised.

Louis tried to hold back his tears.
"Thanks, guys! Really! You have no idea how much this means to me."

"Just get your shit together because you really sucked today." Steve chuckled.

"I...sucked?" Louis couldn't help but joke with a smirk on his lips.

They stare at him in surprise before they all started to cackle.
"That's the Tommo I know!" Russel grinned.

Louis was walking on clouds on his way back to his dorm room. He sort of just came out to at least four of his teammates and they didn't hate him. He wanted to run to Harry and tell him but he couldn't do that just yet. He needed to talk to his mum first. It was time and the conversation he just had given him that final push he needed. He just hoped that she would be okay with it. He didn't know what he would do if she turned her back on him but Niall had been right. He had to stop living a lie.

He took the train to Doncaster the next morning. He was welcomed home with open arms and they all hugged him and told him that they had missed him.

Later that evening he found himself alone in the kitchen with his mum. They sat down at the kitchen table with a cup of Tea.
"So tell me everything. How's school?" Jay asked.

He knew that this was it. He had to tell her and hope for the best.
"School is going okay. Football takes up most of my time and ehm, I kind of met someone."

"Ooo, that's wonderful. I wanna hear all about it." His mum said excitedly.

He took a deep, shaky breath. His heart was beating like crazy and he thought he might die.
"His name is Harry."  He said quietly and stared at his mum in fear.

His mum immediately pulled him in for a hug.
"Don't be scared darling. I love you."

He broke down crying and she rocked him back and forth. 
"It's okay love. Thanks for telling me. That must have been so hard for you."

He hugged her hard until he calmed down. She let him go and wiped her eyes as well.
"You get that I'm gay right?" He asked.

"Of course!" Jay answered and started to laugh. "Sorry."

Louis burst out laughing as well. When their laughter died out Jay took his hands.
"So tell me everything about this Harry. He must be really special." She smiled.