Versions

7

Louis

He needed to do this. He wanted to do this. Harry deserved this but he was so fucking nervous. It had been so hard to admit to himself that he was gay. Years of self-hatred and self-loading. To say it out loud to Harry hadn't been easy either. Niall? He was petrified. What if Niall resented him? What if Niall would hate him? That didn't make sense. Niall knew that Harry was gay and had no problem with it, but Louis still had problems accepting himself and he was scared. Harry made all of that go away whenever he spent time with him. He might love him. That was scary as hell and he wasn't ready to say that out loud. Harry deserved this.

He had been trying to tell Niall for a while now. The words were stuck in his head, screaming at him but he didn't seem to find the courage to say them out loud. He was such a coward.

They were watching tv together. Niall was eating a bag of crisps, laughing at an episode of the Office. I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm gay.
"I'm gay!" He froze in his place. He actually said it out loud. He was sure that he was gonna get a heart attack.

Niall didn't even look at him. He just said "okay" and continued to eat his crisps as he had just told him some everyday stuff. He felt offended, but he was also so relieved that his eyes teared up and he tried to breathe.

Niall turned his head and looked at him.
"What's wrong?"

"Did you hear me? I'm gay." Louis repeated and his heart beat fast.

Niall looked confused.
"Yeah, you just told me that. Why do you look so freaked out? Wait, am I the first person you told?"

"Yeah, well except Harry." Louis answered with a shaky smile.

Niall paused the tv show and hugged Louis.
"Thank you for telling me. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, you're okay with it?" Louis asked and hugged him back.

"Of course. I don't care Louis. Wait a minute! Are you two doing the nasty?" Niall grinned.

"I wouldn't phrase it like that. Yes, we're seeing each other." Louis answered with pink cheeks.

"That's great! Harry has had the hots for you since I first introduced you two. I'm happy for you." Niall smiled.

"Thanks!" Louis beamed, feeling grateful that Niall was Niall.

Later that night when he went to bed he let the relief he felt wash over him. Coming out to Niall had been terrifying but now when it was done he felt good. There was a weight lifted off his shoulders. Maybe he could do this all together?

The next morning he went to knock on Harry's door.
"I did it!" He shouted excitedly as soon as he opened it.

"Did what?" Harry asked, looking confused.

Louis put his arms around him.
"I came out to Niall and I told him about us."

Harry's mouth fell open and he stared at him in surprise.
"You did? You didn't feel forced, did you? I know I can be whiny."

Louis pecked his lips.
"I didn't feel forced."

Harry hugged him.
"I'm so proud of you." He said emotionally.

"I think I can do this." Louis answered.

Harry cradled his cheeks and looked deeply into his eyes and what he saw reflecting in Harry's eyes made his stomach flip. Harry didn't say it out loud and Louis was grateful for that. He wasn't ready for that yet. So instead he kissed him and tried to put all his emotion into the kiss.

Two days later they hung out with Niall. Louis was nervous and jumpy. When Harry put an arm around his shoulders to calm him down he froze for a second. But when Niall didn't react at all and continued to talk about a girl in his class he relaxed and leaned into the touch.
"Okay?" Harry whispered in his ear.

"Yeah." He whispered back.

After that, he had no trouble being himself around Niall when Harry was with them. He even kissed him and Niall just cooed and told them they were adorable.

When the weekend approached he had gathered up enough courage to ask Harry out. They were hanging out in Harry's dorm just the two of them on Thursday evening. They had just helped each other get off and were snuggled up in bed.
"Hazza, what are you doing on Saturday?"

Harry turned his head to look at him.
"No plans, wanna hang out?"

"Yeah, ehm, I thought we could catch a movie, maybe grab something to eat first?" Louis said nervously.

Harry gave him a dimpled smile.
"Are you asking me out on a date?"

"Well...yeah." Louis chuckled.

Harry pressed a kiss on his cheek.
"I would love to go on a date with you. Are you sure that you're ready for that? Don't push yourself too hard sweetie."

"I think I'm ready." Louis smiled.

When Saturday arrived he was nervous as hell. What if people stared at them? What if they said stuff? What if he met someone he knew? He was about to cancel but he couldn't do that to Harry. He was so happy and excited. So he got ready and knocked on Harry's door and Harry opened it all dimple smiling and gorgeous.

They had decided to go out for pizza before the movie so they walked to the nearest pizza place. Harry didn't hold his hand and he was conflicted about it. A part of him wanted him to and another part of him felt relieved.

It was a ten-minute walk and Harry led them to a table in the back. Louis scanned the pizza place to see if he knew anyone inside but he didn't. He paid for their pizzas despite Harry's protests.
"You have to ask me out next time." Louis smiled while he kept a close watch on the front door.

"Deal." Harry grinned.

Louis had a hard time keeping up with the conversation. His eyes traveled to the door as soon as someone entered and he was tense. Halfway through the meal Harry sighed and put his cutlery down.
"Relax Lou. We're just two guys eating pizza. No one knows that we're on a date."

Louis blushed.
"I'm sorry. You're right."

He managed to relax after that and enjoyed the rest of the meal in Harry's company. He went through the same procedure, scanning the room, as soon as they came inside the Cinema.

When they sat down to watch the movie he could relax again. He even took Harry's hand and Harry smiled and squeezed his hand.

When they came out of the movie theatre Harry smiled at him again.
"I had a great time. I'm proud of you. I know you've been nervous."

Louis beamed and put an arm around Harry's shoulders while they walked outside.
"Hey! Tomlinson!" Someone shouted.

Louis froze and looked absolutely petrified. He immediately removes his arm around Harry's shoulders and turned around just to be face to face with some of his teammates.
"Oh hi!" He said and gulped nervously. He took a step to the side to get further away from Harry.

They were eyeing Harry curiously.
"I don't think we met. I'm Bruce." The team captain introduced himself and extended a hand for Harry to shake.

"This is Harry, my friend. Harry this is Bruce, Max, Russel, and Steve from my football team."

Harry smiled and shook their hands but Louis had seen how he flinched when he introduced him as a friend.

"See you at practice on Sunday." Bruce said and they went inside the Cinema.

Louis glanced at Harry.
"I'm sorry. I panicked."

"It's okay." Harry answered but he looked sad.

"I didn't mean to make you sad. They're my teammates. What was I supposed to say?" Louis asked upset as they walked back to the dorm.

Harry sighed.
"I get it, Lou. Don't worry about it."

Louis felt like shit. Harry didn't say much on the way home and when they reached the dorm he declined company and said that he was really tired. Louis went back to his own dorm room and locked himself in his room.