Lethal Obsession

32.

"No partner in a love relationship... should feel that he has to give up an essential part of himself to make it viable." – May Sarton

"You can't change someone who doesn't see an issue in his actions."

"Sometimes the best revenge is to smile and move on."

"Love has no middle term; either it destroys, or it saves. All human destiny is this dilemma. This dilemma, destruction or salvation, no fate proposes more inexorably than love. Love is life, if it is not death. Cradle; coffin, too. The same sentiment says yes and no in the human heart. Of all the things God has made, the human heart is the one that sheds most light, and alas! most night." ― Victor Hugo

"Don't want your hand this time, I'll save myself Maybe I'll wake up for once"

- Evanescence – Going under

Chapter 32

I wasn't surprised when, just minutes after I left Paul, Mateo showed up and blocked my way. I recoiled for a moment from his furious gaze. I wanted to pretend that his actions did not affect me, that there was nothing he could do that would disturb me in any way, but we both knew perfectly well that that would be a complete and absolute lie.

I was scared of the fact that even after everything he did to me, after he made me feel broken, I still loved him. My emotions towards him, no matter how scared, hurt and angry I was, did not change. I wondered what he had to do for me to stop feeling what I was feeling. Just one look from him was enough to provoke a reaction in me, no matter the kind.

Even the moment he stood in front of me with the darkness in his eyes and the look with which he seemed to be killing me, my heart jumped. How I allowed myself to give so much control over me to one person was beyond me. I didn't want to give up. Moreover, I refused to do so. However, every time I saw him, when he would address me or simply send me a gesture with which he wanted to, according to him, prove that I am his, something in me broke. It took me incredible strength to fight myself, but it was the only real thing I had to do. If I give in again, can I ever go back?

"Walk," he ordered angrily, grabbing my wrist.

I tried to get my hand out of his, but he wouldn't let me. I looked at him in irritation and anger and, once again, tried to tear out the wrist he was holding so tightly I had the impression it was glued to him.

"Don't resist, there's no point," he told me coldly, turned and began to rush in the direction of his familiar car, dragging me along.

A couple of times I tried to resist his attempts by not walking, but he was far stronger than me. At one point it annoyed him so much, he turned and, taking advantage of the element of surprise, picked me up and slung me over his shoulder. I let out a scream at his move, but it didn't bother him, he kept walking with even more determination towards the black monster. I started hitting him on the back with my hands so that he would lower me to the ground, but that didn't help me either.

It was unbelievable how no one noticed or reacted to what was going on. We were a little cut off from the rest of the people because of my ingenious decision to try to get hold of my emotions after talking to Paul by separating myself from everyone and thinking about everything in peace. At what point I forgot I had a pathologically possessive ex-boyfriend who would undoubtedly follow me around, I didn't know myself, but I regretted it greatly.

Shortly after I gave up on hurting myself, since he couldn't have been hurt by someone far stronger than me and let alone by my pathetic punches, we finally got to our destination. However, even then, he did not lower me to the ground. He opened the car door, placed me in the seat and fastened the seat belt. Before I could take a step towards the outside, he had already slammed the door and locked it. He rushed to the other side and soon settled into the driver's seat, not saying a single word.